\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
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The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\u201cIt\u2019s plausible, considering his life background, position, and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Sometimes, some subordinates at work may cause you stress because of their poor work performance. However, it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing that your colleague or subordinates don't do good jobs since you will then have a better chance of getting promoted. If your subordinate is a quick study and promptly manages to do everything you do and obtains in one year the know-how that took you 5 years to figure out, he may soon be promoted to a position that is higher than yours. When working with diverse people in the workplace, it is very important to accept that everyone is different. Instead of talking about what is right or wrong, you should acknowledge people\u2019s differences and accept, \u201cThat\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s plausible, considering his life background, position, and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
\n

If you are prone to making a strong distinction between right and wrong, you are likely to think only you are right and disregard the perspectives and values of others. You may score high in terms of work efficiency, but score low in terms of group harmony. You cannot be considered to be right just because you work very efficiently. Some people may be very skilled and efficient in their work but fail to work in harmony with others, which ends up negatively affecting the overall work. On the other hand, some may have good personalities but aren\u2019t efficient in their work which is also a problem. Also, some people may be very likable, but indecisive when handling various situations which also affects their work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, some subordinates at work may cause you stress because of their poor work performance. However, it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing that your colleague or subordinates don't do good jobs since you will then have a better chance of getting promoted. If your subordinate is a quick study and promptly manages to do everything you do and obtains in one year the know-how that took you 5 years to figure out, he may soon be promoted to a position that is higher than yours. When working with diverse people in the workplace, it is very important to accept that everyone is different. Instead of talking about what is right or wrong, you should acknowledge people\u2019s differences and accept, \u201cThat\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s plausible, considering his life background, position, and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Each person in the world has different characteristics. I have my own point of view, and others have their own points of view. In the same way, I have my own values and others have their own values. Also, I may feel this way, but that person may feel that way. I work this way, but another person works in a different way. It\u2019s just a matter of difference, not right or wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are prone to making a strong distinction between right and wrong, you are likely to think only you are right and disregard the perspectives and values of others. You may score high in terms of work efficiency, but score low in terms of group harmony. You cannot be considered to be right just because you work very efficiently. Some people may be very skilled and efficient in their work but fail to work in harmony with others, which ends up negatively affecting the overall work. On the other hand, some may have good personalities but aren\u2019t efficient in their work which is also a problem. Also, some people may be very likable, but indecisive when handling various situations which also affects their work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, some subordinates at work may cause you stress because of their poor work performance. However, it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing that your colleague or subordinates don't do good jobs since you will then have a better chance of getting promoted. If your subordinate is a quick study and promptly manages to do everything you do and obtains in one year the know-how that took you 5 years to figure out, he may soon be promoted to a position that is higher than yours. When working with diverse people in the workplace, it is very important to accept that everyone is different. Instead of talking about what is right or wrong, you should acknowledge people\u2019s differences and accept, \u201cThat\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s plausible, considering his life background, position, and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s natural that he should be irritated since he has been waiting for me for so long all by himself.\u201d By doing so you will receive many blessings. For instance, children raised by a mother who has such a big heart will very likely grow up to be happy upstanding adults even if the parents are too poor to send them to high school or college. On the contrary, if the mother abandons their father, even if the kids go to college and go on to study overseas, they are unlikely to lead happy lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If by chance your husband gets angry and irritated in front of your children it\u2019s best to explain to them, \u201cIf you were ill, you would be like that too. Your father is not a bad person, but he gets in a bad mood because he is in pain.\u201d When you speak to your children this way, they will be able to better understand their father and at the same time be inspired by their mother\u2019s big heart. Taking after their mother, the children will be able to cultivate compassion and develop good character. This is the real education that will help your children become successful in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking care of your husband, you may lament, \u201cWhat did I do in my past life to deserve this predicament?\u201d But, if you change your attitude and take care of your husband wholeheartedly, your children will receive many blessings throughout their lives as you will see for yourself in time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a woman who complained about having to take care of her husband who had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage which diminished his intelligence to that of a first grader. She wanted to stop caring for him because she had also been diagnosed with 4th stage cancer and needed care herself. Yes, it would be difficult to take care of her husband when she herself is sick. But there is one thing that she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t realize that her life was actually being prolonged because she was doing something worthwhile. Taking care of her husband was not making her condition worse. Instead, it was helping her overcome the fear of her own death and alleviate her pain and loneliness since her focus was on her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may think that you will live longer by staying home and doing nothing, but people are much healthier and tend to live longer when they have a job and stay active. If the woman had stayed home by herself and did nothing because of her 4th stage cancer, she would have become more depressed and would have been more fearful of death. Then her health would have deteriorated very rapidly. When you take care of people who are sicker than you are, your life becomes more meaningful. When you are working for other people\u2019s benefit, your body tends to function better and become healthier. In short, although the woman didn\u2019t realize it, her life was actually being prolonged thanks to her caring for her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You should think to yourself, \u201cI am thankful that I am alive today. I am thankful that I am able to take care of someone else. I vow to be the person who will help others until I draw my last breath.\u201d If you have such positive attitude, you will invite good fortune. So far, your marriage has not been ideal, but what you do now will determine the fate of your relationship with your husband. If you are good to your husband, you will have a good relationship. If you do the opposite, you will have a bad relationship. I understand that things must be hard for you, but if you treat your husband with compassion and embrace him warmly, you may even experience true happiness as you yourself change into a more loving person. Being compassionate and keeping a positive attitude ensures that there will be a long-lasting happiness at the end of the short tunnel.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Caring For The Sick Brings Blessings","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"caring-for-the-sick-brings-blessings","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:02:55","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:02:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17844","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17838,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-12-27 20:50:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:04","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> When our parents are alive, we don't realize how precious they are and how grateful we should be for their existence. Once they pass away, we realize how big their presence had been in our lives and regret that we didn\u2019t realize it sooner. Likewise, we don\u2019t feel thankful to our spouses when they are by our sides. We always complain, focusing on the issues that we disagree on. It\u2019s the same with our children. When they are healthy, we want them to do well in school, and if they do well in school, we want them to be outstanding. We focus on our children\u2019s shortcomings and push them to do better. Then, if by some misfortune, the child passes away, we bitterly realize how foolish we have been. Often we gripe and complain about the people close to us and don't realize how grateful we should be to them when they are by our sides, but we feel regretful and miserable when they are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There once was a lady who wept while she told me about her fianc\u00e9 who suddenly died in a car accident. She said, \"When he was alive, he worked hard to help the elderly and the children. However, I always complained and hurt him verbally because I thought he was too idealistic. After his death, I have been feeling increasingly more guilty about my past actions toward him, and I even wonder if I was responsible for his death.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us, like this lady, complain and feel dissatisfied with our loved ones when they are with us, and then, we make ourselves miserable with regrets when they pass away. Would a dead person tell you that he died because you hurt them? The dead remain silent, but this lady kept looking back at the past and had locked herself in a prison of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling guilty and missing her fianc\u00e9 are simply the thoughts and feelings she herself is clinging to. They do nothing for the person who has passed away. Therefore, she should let go of her lingering affection or regrets for her deceased fianc\u00e9 and say goodbye with a light heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is always the errant child who weeps the most when his parents pass away. Children who didn\u2019t bother to visit their parents when they were alive are the ones who cry a great deal when they are gone. Dutiful children have no reason to cry because they did their best for their parents when they were alive. Setting up a fancy grave for the parents or offering huge amounts of food during ancestor memorial services is useless to the deceased parents. Doing something as simple as offering your parents a glass of cold water while they are alive is the action of a dutiful child. Then, calmly saying goodbye to your parents when they pass away is the best thing you can do. Even if you have regrets, it is best to put them behind for your sake as well as that of your parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one can live forever. People are struck with various illnesses. Will crying cure an illness or prevent anyone from dying? So, if your parents are ill, it\u2019s better to prepare them meals, clean their room, and offer them a smile as often as you can instead of crying. If you are anxious all the time and do nothing but cry while thinking, \u201c\u201dWhat will I do if my parents pass away?\u201d your parents will also be unhappy. Even if they were to die tomorrow, if you can smile happily today, your parents will be happy until the moment of their death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a lady who told me that she cried whenever she thought of her mother who passed away 10 years ago in an accident. She asked me,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \"I prayed for my mother to go to heaven, but does heaven really exist?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In response, I quoted the Bible: \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.\u201d and \u201cBlessed is she who believed for there shall be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.\u201d It means that she will benefit greatly from believing, \"My mom has gone to heaven.\" instead of wondering whether heaven exists or not. She would feel unhappy if she thought that her mom went to hell, and she would feel empty if she believed there was nothing after one\u2019s death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A daughter should not cry because her mother doesn't appear in her dreams. The more she misses her mother, the harder it will be for her mother's spirit to peacefully leave this world, so it would keep coming back. But since the spirit does not have a body to go back to, it will drift and become a so-called \u201cforlorn wandering spirit.\u201d The daughter should say goodbye to her mother and let her go quickly so that her mother\u2019s spirit can leave this world without attachments to hold her back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A while back, a questioner whose child had died wept in front of me as if the world had ended. I can\u2019t imagine the heartache of a mother who has outlived her child. Still, she had to let go of her dead child in order to live her own life. So, I asked her to say \"Goodbye, my child.\" with a light heart, but she couldn't. She said, \"Goodbye\" weeping copiously with tears running down her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, it is not easy to let go of her child, but saying goodbye should be as light as biting into a crispy rice cracker. If she says goodbye with a lingering attachment like a sticky taffy, her child\u2019s spirit won\u2019t be able to leave this world. We weep because we are sad about the death of a loved ones, but weeping miserably greatly torments the dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it is a husband, a child, or a parent who passes away, we should say goodbye with a smile after the funeral. People often burn the clothes of the deceased because it\u2019s so hard to say goodbye. If we are able to let go of our attachments to those who pass away, we won\u2019t have any problems using their possessions. However, since most of us become sad upon seeing their possessions, we burn them to get rid of any attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We should do our best for our loved ones when they are alive, but let them go with a light heart when they pass away. However, we tend to do the opposite. We give them a hard time when they are with us but hold on to them when they die. Ancestor memorial services and rituals for sending spirits to a good place are actually performed for the peace of mind of the people who are alive rather than for the deceased. If we don\u2019t hold onto the spirits of the deceased, they will leave of their own accord. A problem occurs when we hold the dead back out of our own grief and regrets. Letting go of the deceased from our heart without any lingering attachment is what will actually help the spirits go to a good place.<\/p>\n","post_title":"A Goodbye As Crispy As A Rice Cracker","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"a-goodbye-as-crispy-as-a-rice-cracker","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 20:50:05","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 01:50:05","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17838","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14112,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-25 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-25 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: How do we make a good choice?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There is no value judgment for any choices you make, there is no good or bad choice. A choice is a choice. So what do we mean by a good choice or a bad choice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are actually referring to the result of that choice. We have a tendency to want to choose but we also have the tendency to not want to be responsible for the consequences of that choice. That is why we have a difficult time making choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example. Shall I take out a loan or not? Doesn't matter what you choose. But if you borrow money, you have to pay it back. If you don't want to pay back, then you shouldn't borrow the money in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it's not whether a choice is good or bad, it's what the consequences are, the responsibility that comes with the choice. We have difficult time making choices because we have an innate nature within ourselves to want to borrow the money but not the sense of responsibility to pay it back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So choose whatever you want to choose, but when you choose there are consequences. You have to be receptive and be fully willing to accept what the consequences are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when I chose the path of engaged Buddhism over traditional Buddhism in Korea, I knew there were a lot of issues that came with that choice. I will be thrown off from the actual discipline. There will be renunciation. There will be criticisms. There will be a lot of recriminations. So I could have said, why should I go through all that suffering?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do We Make A Good Choice?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-we-make-a-good-choice","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 12:09:08","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 17:09:08","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14112","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":false,"total_page":1},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> A person told me about his difficulties at work. However, the expression \"My supervisors say things that don't make any sense\" is very subjective. His supervisors are just communicating in their own way, but this person criticizes them just because he doesn't like what they say. We can say that this person is very subjective in his views.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each person in the world has different characteristics. I have my own point of view, and others have their own points of view. In the same way, I have my own values and others have their own values. Also, I may feel this way, but that person may feel that way. I work this way, but another person works in a different way. It\u2019s just a matter of difference, not right or wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are prone to making a strong distinction between right and wrong, you are likely to think only you are right and disregard the perspectives and values of others. You may score high in terms of work efficiency, but score low in terms of group harmony. You cannot be considered to be right just because you work very efficiently. Some people may be very skilled and efficient in their work but fail to work in harmony with others, which ends up negatively affecting the overall work. On the other hand, some may have good personalities but aren\u2019t efficient in their work which is also a problem. Also, some people may be very likable, but indecisive when handling various situations which also affects their work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, some subordinates at work may cause you stress because of their poor work performance. However, it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing that your colleague or subordinates don't do good jobs since you will then have a better chance of getting promoted. If your subordinate is a quick study and promptly manages to do everything you do and obtains in one year the know-how that took you 5 years to figure out, he may soon be promoted to a position that is higher than yours. When working with diverse people in the workplace, it is very important to accept that everyone is different. Instead of talking about what is right or wrong, you should acknowledge people\u2019s differences and accept, \u201cThat\u2019s just how he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s plausible, considering his life background, position, and conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for that person to act in a certain way, given his background, situation, and conditions.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my boss to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"It may be natural for my subordinate to view it that way, given his position.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we understand others this way, we are likely to get less stressed by their actions. Then, we are at peace, which in turn will help us work in harmony with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person who talked to me about his stress at work told me that he recently had to undergo surgery after being diagnosed with a thyroid disorder. When we are highly dissatisfied, we are likely to become stressed and have a higher possibility of contracting various illnesses. People say that when we get angry our blood vessels pop out; anger brings negative energies which may adversely affect our health. If someone possesses a strong sense of right and wrong like this person, it is necessary for him to always keep in mind these thoughts: \"I am different from that person\" and \"It's possible that a person can legitimately view this situation like that.\" Otherwise, he may not be able to endure and end up quitting his job. Precision and meticulousness are traits that are helpful in getting work done but may not necessarily be beneficial for social relationships. Once we recognize and accept that people are not all bad, we may find it easier to work together with others in harmony.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Acknowledging Differences Will Prevent Conflicts","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"acknowledging-differences-will-prevent-conflicts","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-12-27 21:46:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-12-28 02:46:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17862","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":17844,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2024-01-09 08:58:00","post_date_gmt":"2024-01-09 13:58:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> In a marriage, there may come a time when one of the spouses is hospitalized and the other has to be the caretaker. If the husband and wife are on good terms, the healthy spouse will care for the sick spouse with devotion. However, if they have a rocky marriage, the caregiver may experience a great deal of frustration and hardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cMy husband has been receiving treatment for a stroke and cancer for a few years now. He has not been a good husband or father, so I have been contemplating getting a divorce for the sake of my children who also want me to get divorced. I have to raise the children, and I don\u2019t have the time or money to take care of my husband. My future with my husband seems bleak, so I want to be separated from him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> I can imagine how hard it must be for you since you have to bear the medical costs of your husband\u2019s treatment, and you have to raise the children all by yourself. Additionally, since you are not on good terms with your husband, it must be all the more difficult and stressful to take care of him. I could sympathize with you, but the consolation is not going to solve your problem. Instead, I will be blunt with you. I am afraid that with your mindset, it may be unlikely that your children will turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You say that your children want you to get divorced, but that\u2019s because they are still young. They are not going to feel the same way when they get older. When the kids are young they usually take their mother\u2019s side when the parents argue. However, later, when they get older, they will realize that not only their father but also their mother has many faults. Right now, because their father is an invalid and bad-tempered, the children may ask, \u201cWhy do we have to live like this?\u201d Later, however, they will experience conflicting emotions of resenting you for abandoning their father and feeling grateful to you for having raised them. As a result, the kids may become emotionally unstable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if you had a rocky marriage, you lived with your husband under one roof, and he is the father of your children. So it\u2019s best to make up your mind to take care of your husband. When he gets irritated, try to understand and comfort him. Tell yourself, \u201cHe must be in a lot of pain to be so angry.\" or, \"I came home late because of work, so it\u2019s n