Q: I’m a very forgetful person. I have been able to handle my daily life. However, the problem is that I’m a researcher and I’m doing my Ph. D in biomedical sciences.
I find that this forgetfulness is an obstacle to my profession. I have a scholarship for my Ph. D program, and I am happy about my position. They are not kicking me out yet, but I always have self-doubt about whether I should continue with my studies because science is based on proof and evidence and I am having trouble catching up with the things that I think I should be doing.
I am doubtful whether I should stay in this profession. I wonder if I am taking an opportunity from somebody who should use these resources.
P: How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?
Q: No, I can get home.
P: Can you make your way to the subway station?
Q: Yes I can.
P: Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else’s bag?
P: Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can’t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.
Q: But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.
P: But, that’s okay. If people think you can’t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don’t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn’t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn’t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you’ve been doing well so far. Don’t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can’t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.
Q: Yeah, I’m kind of waiting for that to happen.
P: Don’t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, “Human do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.” It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.
Q: Thank you.