We expected that the weather in Minneapolis would be colder since it has a higher altitude than Washington DC or New York, but the weather was sunny and even a little hot. Today’s Dharma Q&A will be held at the Southdale Library in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
The library reportedly existed even before Sehee Kim’s husband Sean was born. Sean worked tirelessly to arrange the free venue for Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s talk today. There were a lot of people quietly reading or studying at the library, and some people attended the talk after seeing the poster at the library entrance.
The anticipation of those of us preparing the talk grew as the number of people pre-registered for the lecture went over 100, of which 30 wanted to ask questions. In 2014, when Pomnyun Sunim gave a talk in Minneapolis during his 100-lecture world tour, it was in Korean for an audience of Korean expatriates. This is the first English-interpreted talk in Minneapolis. The volunteers arranged 130 chairs in the lecture hall and waited for people to arrive.
As the time for the event approached closer, people started to file in one or two at a time. Seeing this, the volunteers finished preparing for the event with excitement.
After Pomnyun Sunim was introduced, as he and the interpreter Jason took the stage, the audience welcomed them in a thunderous applause.
P: “Hello, I’m Pomnyun and next to me is Jason Lim who will interpret the talk. Let’s welcome him with a round of applause. I’d like to thank everyone who made this talk possible today, especially Sehee Kim and her family. We’re here to converse freely on any topic. It’s not about religion, philosophy or beliefs but to talk about the problems in your lives. I would like to talk about any worries you may have or anything you may be curious about. Let’s begin.”
Q: Bad things happen to good people. I can’t seem to get past the bad things that others have done to me. How do I let these actions go and find peace?
P: Good intentions and good outcomes don’t always have a direct correlation. Good deeds done with good intentions does not necessarily guarantee good outcomes. If one believes that there is a direct correlation between the two, he will be greatly disappointed because it’s not true. Then one might ask, “Does it mean that we don’t need to do good deeds?” No, it’s better to do good deeds than not.
There are two reasons we have to do good deeds. First, when we do good deeds, there is a higher probability that the results will be better than when we do bad deeds. That’s why we choose the option that is more likely to produce good results. Second, when we do good deeds, we feel good. Therefore, it’s better to do good deeds regardless of the outcome. Thinking that when we do good deeds the results will also be good is an incorrect and mechanical way of thinking, leading to the question why bad things happen to us when we have done good deeds. Nice people usually suffer because of this question.
For example, let’s say I complimented someone, but the person will not necessarily compliment me in return and might even criticize me. Is the person then at fault? No, it’s a natural phenomenon. The chances of a person complimenting me is a little higher when I compliment that person as opposed to criticizing him. That’s why it’s more advantageous for me to compliment the person. Listening to you, you seem to be wondering, “Why did that person criticize me when I have complimented him.” But it’s a natural phenomenon. I complimented that person because I wanted to, and he criticized me because he wanted to.
Q: I’ve been hurt many times.
P: You feel hurt because you’re thinking how can this person criticize me when I’ve complimented him. If you think, “He could criticize me” you will not be hurt. Do you dislike being criticized?
Q: No, it’s fine.
P: Then what bothers you?
Q: When I realize that people are dishonest, and they pretend to be my friends but are not actually my friends, I get hurt. Even though I’ve done many good things for other people, bad things happen to me.
P: Right now I’m imparting helpful wisdom, but will everyone here like it? Some people will really like it, and others will not. Those people who didn’t like my talk could say to my face, “I’m upset, why did you say those things?” Or they could complain to their friends on the drive back home, “His talk was boring. It wasn’t anything special.” (audience laughter)
Which one is better? Is it better for people to criticize me to my face? Or is it better that people criticize me only among themselves?
Q: It’s worse to criticize you to your face. It’s not our culture to do so.
P: That’s right. That person doesn’t criticize me to my face out of consideration for me. Therefore, by talking about me behind my back, he is being very considerate. That’s why there is no reason to be upset by it. (audience laughter). So, instead of thinking how can my friend be talking behind my back, think positively that because that person is my friend, he is talking behind my back and not to my face.
Q: It would be better to think that way.
P: It is not just better to think that way. Actually, it is the truth. That’s why more people criticize others behind their backs rather than to their faces than vice versa. It’s out of consideration for the people whom they criticize. Of course, it would be better if they didn’t criticize at all (audience laughter)
Q: Why don’t people just come and talk to me when they have issues with me?
P: When people have issues with someone, it’s uncomfortable for them to talk about it directly to that person about it. How about you?
Q: It’s not uncomfortable for me. (audience laughter)
P: You may not feel uncomfortable doing it, but most people find it a little difficult. That’s why they talk to a third party, instead. If we look at it from the perspective of human psychology, it’s natural. There’s an old saying in Korea. When the king is not present, people even curse the king. Back then, people weren’t allowed to curse the king. You’re not a king, are you? (audience laughter). Not wanting to be criticized behind your back means that you are suffering from a delusion of grandeur. You think that you’re more important than a king.
Q: I prefer that people come and talk to me directly. I’m usually able to talk to other people about how I feel and ask if we could talk. That way people can see that I’m straightforward and honest.
P: I agree that’s a good way to go, but the fact is that not everybody can do that. That’s the reality. People are different, and that person isn’t like you. Right now what you’re insisting is that other people be like you.
Q: I didn’t realize I was doing that. Thank you.
From the very first question, the audience concentrated on the conversation between Pomnyun Sunim and the questioner. The audience responded enthusiastically, listening with seriousness but sometimes bursting out with laughter. One woman said that because of a mistake she made in the past, it was impossible to have a conversation with her mother and asked what she could do. After the talk, she came over and thanked Pomnyun Sunim in Korean. Other people commented that this question and Pomnyun Sunim’s answer were particularly good.
A woman said that she’s a nice person but doesn’t get the respect. When the Sunim responded that “you’re not nice,” the eyes of both the questioner and the audience widened in shock. Because this kind of conversation is not familiar to them, it was bewildering to many people, but as Pomnyun Sunim continued the Q&A with that person and explained his answer in more detail, not only the questioner but the general audience became more immersed in the teachings, and their faces lit up.
A girl in the 6th grade asked Sunim how she could overcome her lack of confidence and belief in herself. In response, he picked up a water bottle, a tape recorder, and a watch. He said the tape recorder is neither big nor small, it is merely what it is. He continued that even an elementary student can attain enlightenment. He explained that in Zen Buddhism, the concept can be explained as, “It is what it is.” In Mahayana Buddhism, it is called emptiness. In fundamental Buddhism, it’s described as non-self. As he explained, the audience listened intently to his conversation with the 6th grader.
During the conversation based on the last question of the English interpretation talk in Minneapolis, Pomnyun Sunim said “Those who want to follow the teachings of the Buddha, should engage in the following activities. First, we have to make ourselves free and happy in order to improve the world. We need to protect the environment. Also, we must work to eradicate poverty for the people suffering from extreme poverty in the world, and we have to work to end wars and establish peace in the world. There is one more thing. In northern European countries, their natural environment is beautiful, there’s no poverty, and the society is peaceful. However, 20-30 years ago, their suicide rate was the highest in the world. That’s why I became curious about the reason. In the example of northern Europe, we can see that it’s not enough that society changes for the better. Individual must be able to control their own emotion and to do that people have to engage in practice and continue to make the effort to maintain the right mindset.
As we listen to his talk, we felt a renewed sense of pride and gratitude towards Pomnyun Sunim who is ceaselessly traveling around the world to spread the teachings of the Buddha in order to enable people to be happy and create a peaceful world.
After the talk was over, many people came over to Pomnyun Sunim to thank him. Many of them wanted to take a picture with him, so he took pictures with them until the library closed.
The woman who posed the first question said that through her conversation with Pomnyun Sunim, she felt as if she now has a new set of lenses with which she viewed the world and was thankful. Also, she expressed her wish to take a picture with Pomnyun Sunim.
One man who attended the talk shared that listening to the talk made him feel like a college student again and that he had a good time.
After the talk, Sunim took a group picture with the volunteers who helped prepare for the event.
