\n
\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

P:<\/strong> How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

I am doubtful whether I should stay in this profession. I wonder if I am taking an opportunity from somebody who should use these resources.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

I find that this forgetfulness is an obstacle to my profession. I have a scholarship for my Ph. D program, and I am happy about my position. They are not kicking me out yet, but I always have self-doubt about whether I should continue with my studies because science is based on proof and evidence and I am having trouble catching up with the things that I think I should be doing. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I am doubtful whether I should stay in this profession. I wonder if I am taking an opportunity from somebody who should use these resources.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n

Q: I\u2019m a very forgetful person. I have been able to handle my daily life. However, the problem is that I\u2019m a researcher and I\u2019m doing my Ph. D in biomedical sciences. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I find that this forgetfulness is an obstacle to my profession. I have a scholarship for my Ph. D program, and I am happy about my position. They are not kicking me out yet, but I always have self-doubt about whether I should continue with my studies because science is based on proof and evidence and I am having trouble catching up with the things that I think I should be doing. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I am doubtful whether I should stay in this profession. I wonder if I am taking an opportunity from somebody who should use these resources.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: I\u2019m a very forgetful person. I have been able to handle my daily life. However, the problem is that I\u2019m a researcher and I\u2019m doing my Ph. D in biomedical sciences. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I find that this forgetfulness is an obstacle to my profession. I have a scholarship for my Ph. D program, and I am happy about my position. They are not kicking me out yet, but I always have self-doubt about whether I should continue with my studies because science is based on proof and evidence and I am having trouble catching up with the things that I think I should be doing. <\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I am doubtful whether I should stay in this profession. I wonder if I am taking an opportunity from somebody who should use these resources.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> How forgetful are you? Do you lose your way home?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> No, I can get home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong>\u00a0Can you make your way to the subway station?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Can you tell the difference between your bag and somebody else\u2019s bag?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Then you have no problems because the animals living on the hills can\u2019t make that distinction. But they seem to have good lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> But they are not doing scientific research as a profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> But, that\u2019s okay. If people think you can\u2019t make it, either your professor or your boss will tell you. So you don\u2019t have to quit unless they bring it up first. What you are actually doing is torturing yourself. You shouldn\u2019t overestimate your capabilities, but you shouldn\u2019t underestimate them either. The fact that you are in your current position means that you\u2019ve been doing well so far. Don\u2019t evaluate yourself. Let others evaluate you. If your boss thinks you can\u2019t make it and tells you to leave, accept that criticism and quit. Then, perhaps you can go to India or the Philippines to do volunteer work. But since no one is telling you or forcing you out the door right now, have confidence in yourself and go on with your studies. I think you are doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019m kind of waiting for that to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Don\u2019t wait. Just do your best. There is a saying that goes, \u201cHuman do the work, but the heaven decide the outcome.\u201d It means that you do your best but should not obsess about the results. Right now, you are too concerned about the result. Just do your best. Then, after you see the result, you can then re-evaluate. I think you are still doing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Is It Ok To Keep My Job?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"is-it-ok-to-keep-my-job","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:52:43","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:52:43","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14107","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14102,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-15 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-15 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I feel a little frustrated, maybe a little angry, impatient about the need for significant political change. I worry a lot about injustice, climate change, corruption, democracy. I just wonder what is in your opinion, the best sort of Buddhist Way to seek political change but quickly. I mean how do you feel about civil disobedience, do you recommend that we do that? Do you feel that we are in a serious existential threat over the political issues that we have? I'm just wondering. What is your take?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> The essence of Buddhist teaching is the middle way. This actually means doing your best under the situation and conditions that you are in. So the middle way is not talking of some fixed way. Instead, it means you are flexible to change strategy and directions according to the situation and environment you are in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you take an individual for example, it is much easier to change an individual's thoughts than emotions. This is because thought resides in your consciousness while emotion resides in subconsciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma refers to emotional cognitive habits, and it takes time for you to change that. So if you try to affect change quickly, it won\u2019t work. If you feel disappointed over the fact that your habits do not change quickly then you start blaming yourself and suffer. If the other person\u2019s habits do not change quickly then you start blaming them and become angry at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very natural not to be able to change quickly.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But it is very natural not to be able to change quickly. Change needs a lot of failures, trial & errors, and it needs time. So it is this unrealistic sense of urgency that is making us angry, hateful and disappointed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we must have an insight and awareness of that principle before we get started. And that is why we study history. There are many singular events throughout history that have failed. But from a historical perspective, many of them actually succeeded, because that was something that could not happen over just one event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you try to accomplish something at once, you will likely fail. Because change and improvement happen over a period of time through repeated failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let's take the environmental issue for example. Our environment is at a very critical state. But if you look at the reality we are facing today, it is very difficult to affect change. Because consumption is deeply embedded in our everyday lives. And the values and criteria for success in this society are closely tied with one's capacity to consume more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So even though consciously we recognize the danger of environmental destruction, our habits force us to go on living the way we have. So, I think no matter how much we try, there's a good possibility we will not be able to change our way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then is that despair? Not so...<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do You See The Current Political Issues In The Buddhist Perspective?","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-you-see-the-current-political-issues-in-the-buddhist-perspective","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-13 11:36:12","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-13 16:36:12","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14102","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":13846,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-10-18 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-10-18 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: I work in healthcare and I'm a manager. And sometimes I need to let people go because of their performance. For some people, it's not just about poor performance, but actually that their mistakes put some patients at risk. I try to give them enough chances and help them in any way I can, but for some employees, there's just no option but to let them go.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


Knowing their personal situations, I feel very bad about letting them go and also scared because recently in the US there was a FedEx employee, who after getting laid off, went back to the office and killed people.<\/h1>\n\n\n\n


I just want to ask you how can I do my job and handle laying off employees better?<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: If your role as a manager requires you to fire some people then either you continue working at your job or quit and change jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to continue your job for whatever reasons then you must accept the responsibility that comes with it and be able to deal with it. If your job involves firing employees, obviously there's always a risk of them being angry at you which sometimes might lead to attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some ways it is like voluntarily joining the army. During peacetime it is a good job because you don't have to risk your life, but if there's a war, you have to put your life at risk. Nevertheless, it\u2019s a choice you're making and there's no other way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make the choice to stay on, there may be small things you can do to lower the risk. For instance, instead of firing somebody with harsh words, try to explain this is your role. Say that you understand the person and that although this is not what you want to do but you have to do it because it's your job. And that you are also an employee at the organization and that you also have to make a living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell them as a person it hurts you to do this, but because you have to fulfill your role you have no choice but to do this and that you are sorry. Then with those words you may decrease your risk a little. Obviously that person will still be fired and still be angry, but it\u2019s better than kicking them out with harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So while understanding other people\u2019s pain and feeling sorry about it, you should still be able to do your job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter what the consequences you face because of your choice you should be able to handle it. It is not a matter of which way is better. It is to realize that with every choice comes responsibility and consequences. And you should be aware of those before you make a choice. It is difficult but if you try to avoid responsibility it becomes a source of suffering. There's always a result based on a cause. If you provided the cause then you should be able to accept the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you are in that position then there is a risk for you to be criticized. And a higher risk for you to be hated. But if you don't like it, change your job, but if there are the reasons to stay on then be prepared to handle the consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Laying Off My Employees Is Stressful","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"laying-off-my-employees-is-stressful","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-10-16 19:44:45","post_modified_gmt":"2022-10-17 00:44:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=13846","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":12577,"post_author":"13","post_date":"2022-05-26 22:27:56","post_date_gmt":"2022-05-27 03:27:56","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don't think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don't have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P: <\/strong>Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That's not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don't think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn't bring about any hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common perception of love centers around the notion, \"Because I like you, you must like me in return,\" or \"I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.\" Then this transaction is not fair. That's a transaction. That\u2019s a horse trade. That is not love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don't demand that she like you in return. Then there's no side effects to that. It's just emotion that's propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That\u2019s making you happy. But don't mistake that for love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that's why it's important for you to understand her. That's why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That's a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.<\/p>\n","post_title":"What's The Difference Between Like And Love?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"whats-the-difference-between-like-and-love","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-07-06 14:44:18","post_modified_gmt":"2022-07-06 19:44:18","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=12577","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3568,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-27 13:10:28","post_content":"\n

Please click \u2018setting\u2019 \"\" and change the language mode to English.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: I dated a guy at my school. He suddenly stopped seeing me without notice. Then he started dating a new girlfriend in a few days... I run into the two of them several times a day. I tried to ignore and avoid them each time. But the sight of them, their voices and laughter stay and haunt me. How can I find peace at heart? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I'm in the same school as my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend (English Subtitle)","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"im-in-the-same-school-as-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-new-girlfriend","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:07:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3568","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3472,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-26 23:31:50","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a loved one and there was a misunderstanding. There have been many, many years where I've tried to clear up the misunderstanding. It just hasn't cleared up. Until when do I keep on trying?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have a Loved One And There Was a Misunderstanding","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-a-loved-one-and-there-was-a-misunderstanding","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 01:31:55","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3472","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3101,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 18:28:42","post_content":"\n

Q: As we live, we encounter problems such as love and betrayal. For me, it's very hard to forgive regardless of what happened. A lot of my friends tell me that I should forgive the person regardless of what happened. I tried to understand that we should forgive. But then am I wrong? Animals don't forgive each other, Animals attack back if they were being betrayed. Am I wrong if I have no feeling, If I have no reason to forgive the person back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"I Have No Reason To Forgive My Friend Who Betrayed Me","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"i-have-no-reason-to-forgive-my-friend-who-betrayed-me","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:06:09","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3101","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3064,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 15:51:28","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I'm alone I'm generally at peace in my day to day life. But whenever I'm in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what's best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:24:53","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3064","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":3056,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-24 13:35:39","post_content":"\n

Q: I have a hard time saying no to people. I end up making promises I don't want to keep. As a result, I hurt my own relationships with people. How can I effectively say no?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Basically, it is because you have a desire to look good to others. You want to be thought of as a good person by others, and you want to be praised by others. That\u2019s very egotistical. That\u2019s why you can\u2019t say no. In fact, even Jesus, who only tried to help people was crucified. Also, even the Buddha was criticized very often during his lifetime. As you can see, even great sages were criticized. Are you as good as the Buddha? If you are not, criticism is something that you should welcome. Do not be afraid of being criticized. You are being very greedy when you want to avoid being criticized. It\u2019s okay for you to say no to the things you can\u2019t do because ultimately you can\u2019t fulfill everybody\u2019s expectations. If you are able to do it, that\u2019s fine. You can go ahead and do it. But if you can\u2019t say no to those things that you don\u2019t want to do, it means you want to escape criticism. So I want you to welcome criticism and learn to live with it. When you are criticized, think about whether you went against the four precepts I spoke about which prohibits hurting others, stealing, sexual misconduct and lying. If you did go against any of them, you need to repent and never do it again. However, if you didn\u2019t, you don\u2019t have to worry about the criticism. It is not a sin for you not be able to help someone who asks for help. If you steal somebody else\u2019s property, that\u2019s a crime. Don\u2019t always try to be a perfect person. Just accept that you will often be criticized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Everybody who is born has the right to be happy. Whatever past experiences you have, you still have a right to be happy here and now. Buddha expressed it this way, \u201cEverybody can be a Buddha.\u201d And Jesus said. \u201cEverybody is the child of the loving God\u201d. So you have to realize how precious you are. You have to live happily. But if you choose to suffer, that\u2019s fine too. If those of you living here in the United States can\u2019t find happiness, it\u2019s not just your problem but a problem for those of us in the rest of the world. People around the world who are in unhappy think, \u201cIf I just make it to the U.S, I\u2019ll be happy.\u201d When they come to the United States and find that all of you are unhappy, they won\u2019t have any hope left. Your unhappiness brings despair to the rest of the world. Therefore, all of you here should be happy. I wish happiness to all of you.<\/p>\n","post_title":"How Do I Effectively Say “No”?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-do-i-effectively-say-no","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-09-10 07:25:28","post_modified_gmt":"2022-09-10 12:25:28","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=3056","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":2786,"post_author":"2","post_date":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_date_gmt":"2021-03-18 01:42:05","post_content":"\n

Q: I find that when I\u2019m alone I\u2019m generally at peace, you know, in my day to day life. But whenever I\u2019m in a relationship, I start to stress and think is this person what\u2019s best for me. Is this person on my path, so to speak. I just want to know how to have more peaceful and connected relationship and get away from these kinds of thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=q5au39VUpD0\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","post_title":"How to Find Peace in a Relationship","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"how-to-find-peace-in-a-relationship","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_modified_gmt":"2021-05-14 02:57:49","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/demo2021\/?p=2786","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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