Jungto Society
Join live dharma talk with Pomnyun Sunim
  • About
    • Jungto Society
    • Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
    • Our NGOs
    • Visit Us
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • Jungto News
    • Pomnyun Sunim
    • Press & Media
  • Library
    • Dharma Q&A
    • Meditation Q&A
    • Wisdom Note
    • Practice Resources
  • Online Programs
    • Live Dharma Talk
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism I
    • 영어불교대학 𝗜 – 한국어반
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism II
    • 1000-Day Practice
    • Sunday Meditation
Donate🧡
  • About
    • Jungto Society
    • Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
    • Our NGOs
    • Visit Us
    • Contact Us
  • Articles
    • Jungto News
    • Pomnyun Sunim
    • Press & Media
  • Library
    • Dharma Q&A
    • Meditation Q&A
    • Wisdom Note
    • Practice Resources
  • Online Programs
    • Live Dharma Talk
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism I
    • 영어불교대학 𝗜 – 한국어반
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism II
    • 1000-Day Practice
    • Sunday Meditation
No Result
View All Result
Jungto Society
No Result
View All Result
Home Dharma Q&A Relationship

What’s The Difference Between Like And Love?

Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at George Washington University on Oct. 8, 2014

May 26, 2022

Q: I have dated three girls so far. But when I look back none of them satisfied me. I can say I like them but I don’t think I love them at all. So I want to know the difference between to like somebody and to love somebody. Also, I don’t have a girlfriend now, but if I find one in the future, how do I love her with all my heart?

P: Understand her. Only understanding is love. Liking someone could be greed or an obsession, because if you like somebody but she does not like you and if you continue liking her; to her that becomes suffering. That is you can make her suffer. That’s not love.

First and foremost you have to understand her. If you truly want to love her try to understand what she wants. Don’t think of your perspective, your needs. And if you do that, that doesn’t bring about any hatred.

Common perception of love centers around the notion, “Because I like you, you must like me in return,” or “I like you this much, but how come you only like me this much.” Then this transaction is not fair. That’s a transaction. That’s a horse trade. That is not love.

Stop engaging in trade. Stop engaging in calculations. You are free to like anybody you want, but don’t demand that she like you in return. Then there’s no side effects to that. It’s just emotion that’s propelling you to like somebody and you are free to do so. That’s making you happy. But don’t mistake that for love.

The important thing is what kind of help are you to her. So that’s why it’s important for you to understand her. That’s why I said before, without understanding love can turn violent. How much do we make people suffer in the name of love? And how much war do we engage in the name of peace? That’s a contradiction. That only happens because that is a love without understanding.

Source: Ven. Pomnyun Sunim on Youtube
Via: Jungto Society
Tags: loverelationshipunderstanding

Related Posts

We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More
Mindfulness

We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More

Q: "I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband...

June 27, 2023
Benefit of Giving
Wisdom Note

Benefit of Giving

Being kind and trying to understand others will benefit you. When you feel uneasy, think about why you feel that...

October 27, 2022
Load More

Jungto Society is a community of Buddhist practitioners who seek to free themselves of suffering in their daily lives and to make the world a better place.

EVENTS & PROGRAMS
  • Live Dharma Talk
  • Sunday Meditation
  • 1000-Day Practice
  • Jungto Dharma School 2023
POSTS
  • Dharma Q&A
  • Meditation Q&A
  • Wisdom Note
  • Jungto News
  • Pomnyun Sunim
ABOUT
  • Jungto Society
  • Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
  • Our NGOs

Wisdom For You

What is the purpose of life?

This question has no answer.
This is because life already existed before the thought of why it exists
emerges in one’s consciousness. It is impossible to find a reason for our
being because our thoughts are a byproduct of our lives.

Life has already been gifted to you and will naturally end when you die.
In the life you are already living, the choice you can make is whether you will live happily or miserably.

— Ven. Pomnyun Sunim

Open your cookie every day!
RELATED LINKS
Menu
  • JTS America
  • Pomnyun.com
  • Pomnyun Sunim Instagram
  • Jungto Korea
Facebook Instagram Youtube

Copyright © 2022 Jungto Society

Visit Us
Contact Us
Donate
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • About
    • Jungto Society
    • Ven. Pomnyun Sunim
    • Our NGOs
    • Contact Us
    • Visit Us
  • Articles
    • Jungto News
    • Pomnyun Sunim
    • Press & Media
  • Library
    • Dharma Q&A
    • Meditation Q&A
    • Wisdom Note
    • Practice Resources
  • Online Programs
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism I
    • 영어불교대학 𝗜 – 한국어반
    • Jungto Dharma School – Introduction to Buddhism II
    • Live Dharma Talk
    • Sunday Meditation
    • 1000-Day Practice
Donate🧡
Contact Us

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
Share

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

WhatsApp

Copy Link
×