\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16898,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-24 08:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-24 13:00:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
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Among Korean classics, there is a story of two brothers, \u201cHeungbu and Nolbu.\u201d Each of them fixed the broken leg of a swallow, but the outcomes were completely different. Heungbu fixed a swallow\u2019s legs simply because he felt sorry for the bird. He did not expect anything for his good deed, but he was rewarded with a fortune. Nolbu, on the other hand, broke a bird's leg on purpose and fixed it with the aim of getting a fortune, but he was hit with misfortune instead. This is to say, when you don\u2019t expect anything, you will be happy whether you get a reward or not. If you expect a reward, however, the seeds of disappointment and resentment will be sown in your heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not easy for us to have the heart of a bodhisattva who does not expect any rewards. However, we must constantly practice introspection to see whether we expect or desire anything in return for our good deeds. If our introspection reveals that we do, we must let go of our expectations, so that we can be happy simply with the act of giving. This is giving alms in its true sense. Thus, both the giver and the receiver will become free, and giving alms will beget genuine good fortune.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Giving Alms Without Expectation Of Reward","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"giving-alms-without-expectation-of-reward","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:20:25","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:20:25","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=17847","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16898,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-24 08:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-24 13:00:00","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cWhy should a person live?\u201d This is a question many people ask when they are young, and then there is another phase in life when people revisit this question. As people enter into their 40s, 50s, or reach menopause, they ask again with skepticism, \u201cWhat does it mean to live, what exactly is life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is no answer to this question because living the life we are given comes before thinking about \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d In other words, existence precedes reasoning. Because we live, we are able to think, so we cannot possibly get an answer to the question, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d We were already born into the world regardless of whether we wanted to or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We weren\u2019t born Koreans because we wanted to; we just were. Consequently, there is no answer to the question, \u201c\u2018Why was I born a Korean?\u201d Yet, if we keep asking ourselves such a question, we could end up thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the purpose of living when I don\u2019t even know the meaning of life?\u201d When we relentlessly continue to ask, \u201cWhy do we live?\u201d we are likely to fall into negative thoughts like committing suicide. Therefore, it is imperative that we change our way of thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All living creatures go on living simply because they were born. Grasshoppers, squirrels, and rabbits don\u2019t question themselves why they live. They just do. You and I live just like the animals do. So, we should ask ourselves the question, \u201cWhat is the best way to lead our lives? Is it better to live happily or live miserably?\u201d Of course \u201cIt is better to live happily,\u201d so we should ponder, \u201cThen, how can I live that way?\u201d This is the healthy attitude that a person with the gift of life should take. Plants, rabbits, and humans all simply live. And, when the time comes, they all die. We don\u2019t live or die because we want to. Life is something that is just given to us, and when the time comes, it is taken away. Thus, ultimately, the only thing we can choose for ourselves is the attitude with which we embrace the life we are given. \u201cShould we live with suffering or with happiness?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden behind the question \u201cWhy should I live?\u201d is the thought, \u201cI am special. Therefore, I have to live a special life, but I can\u2019t make my life special, so I am unhappy.\u201d Ironically, such a thought makes us feel miserable because we can\u2019t live up to the standard we have set for ourselves. Consequently, when we assign special values to our lives, we end up feeling the burden of having to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are no different from those of a plant alongside the road or a squirrel in the mountain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we consider ourselves special beings, we are not. No matter how conceited we are, we will die if we don\u2019t eat for 100 days or if we can\u2019t breathe for 10 minutes. Therefore, it is extremely important that we don\u2019t consider ourselves special. That way, we can be relieved from the burden of being special and just live lightheartedly. Then, we can be comfortable with anybody we meet and any task we take up. We are the masters of our own lives. Thus, we have both the responsibility and the right to make our lives happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nevertheless, if we keep making ourselves miserable with various excuses, we are actually throwing away the happy life we rightfully deserve. Therefore, instead of asking the question of \u201cWhy do I live?\u201d which will only make us feel negative about life, we should utilize our valuable time and energy to think about \u201cHow can I live happily today? This is the way to live as masters who have both the responsibilities for and the rights to their own lives.<\/p>\n","post_title":"When You Want To Revisit The Question Why A Person Lives","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-you-want-to-revisit-the-question-why-a-person-lives","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2024-01-16 16:22:01","post_modified_gmt":"2024-01-16 21:22:01","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16898","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16893,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-10-22 16:55:28","post_date_gmt":"2023-10-22 21:55:28","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book, Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Q:<\/strong> \u201cI lost my baby boy 14 years ago. He was 9 months old at the time and had just begun to utter the word, \u2018Mom.\u2019 After putting him down for a nap in his room, my husband and I were enjoying each other\u2019s company in the living room. However, when I realized that the baby hadn\u2019t woken up past the usual time, I went into his room to check and found him dead.\u201d The mother shed tears while talking about her son who had died 14 years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> While the pain of losing a baby must be immense for any parent, just thinking about her baby still makes her weep even after 14 years. It\u2019s not as if the child has died recently, but thinking about her deceased son makes her fall into a mental state that can be described as \u201cbeing trapped in one\u2019s own thoughts.\u201d When she recalls a past event like watching a video clip and perceives it as something that is happening to her now, both her brain and mind will respond in the same way as the time when the child died. She will begin to shed tears and her throat will get choked up, and she will be unable to calm herself down. However, if she becomes preoccupied by thinking and talking about other things at that moment, she will be relieved from that state of mind. In a similar way, once she begins to ruminate about her deceased son and becomes absorbed in that thought, she will feel sad all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a widow is in deep agony over her husband\u2019s death, she is suffering not because her husband has passed away but because she is obsessing over the thought of her husband\u2019s death. Even at her husband\u2019s funeral, if she sees food that looks appetizing and imagines how good it would taste, she is free of agony at that moment because she has momentarily let go of the thought that her husband has died. However, if her mind reverts back to thinking about her husband, she will in agony again. Being trapped in the thought that her husband has died, rather than the death itself, is what is making her suffer. Once she releases the thought from her mind, she will feel better right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly, the mother has been grieving the loss of her baby for 14 years because she was unable to let go of the trauma from the experience. To this day, she blames herself for resting in the living room and not being with her baby when he was dying alone in his room. While we do not know the exact cause of the death, it is highly probable that he had a heart attack since the child died when the mother thought he was sleeping. That being the case, it is safe to assume that as he grew up, he would have suffered from heart problems. She can take some consolation in knowing that his premature death has spared him and both her and her husband considerable heartache and trouble down the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the mother had had a chance to raise her son and he had died while in elementary school or middle school, her grief might have been even greater than it is now. Furthermore, It\u2019s not as if the child died because she did something wrong such as carelessly placing the blanket over his face, thereby suffocating him to death. It was just a natural death. Logically speaking, there is really no need for her to feel guilty for not having been there with the child at the time of his death. It is better for her to think, \u201cHe is gone because that was all the time God gave us to spend together.\u201d and release her emotional attachment to him with a prayer like, \u201c\u2018I hope he will be blessed with a healthy body in his next life and lead a happy life.\u201d<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"When The Grieving Continues","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"when-the-grieving-continues","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-10-22 19:57:38","post_modified_gmt":"2023-10-23 00:57:38","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16893","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":16269,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-22 14:43:43","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:43","post_content":"\n

-An extract from Venerable Pomnyun's book,\u00a0Life Lessons<\/em>-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15513,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-27 11:47:51","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-27 16:47:51","post_content":"\n


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Q: \"I was struck by a sudden realization while looking at the photos of cosmos and chrysanthemums, which my husband took as a hobby. As it dawned on me that my husband has his own life apart from me while I have no life of my own, I was seized with envy and jealousy. It had never bothered me even when my husband took money or ran off somewhere, but ever since I saw his photos of flowers last fall, I have been wanting to let go of my love for my husband.\u201d<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P<\/strong>: Generally speaking, the honeymoon phase of a marriage ends in about a year, and the feelings of love tend to subside a little. However, there was a woman who confessed to me that her heart still races and she feels tense whenever she sees her husband even after 23 years of being married to him. She said that just looking at her husband makes her feel happy, but at the same time, she gets distressed and hates herself for being so obsessed with him all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> She asked me to teach her how to love her husband less and instead love herself more so that she can be free. However, did she want to become free just because she didn\u2019t like loving her husband so much? If we wish to be loved by others rather than love others, our wish will never be fulfilled, so we will always be unhappy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wise person knows that he needs to love first in order to be loved and that he needs to give compliments to others first in order to receive compliments. Since he always initiates giving love and compliments to others, he receives love and praises from others in return. As a result, he will experience more happiness than unhappiness in life, but he still won\u2019t be able to attain complete happiness. That\u2019s because there is a possibility that others may not reciprocate the love he gives them. Then, what do we need to do to experience complete happiness? We should only give without expecting anything in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a big difference between the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us after we have extended our help to them and the disappointment we feel when others don\u2019t help us because we didn\u2019t help them in the first place. We feel much more disappointed when others refuse to help us after we have helped them. A person who expects to receive as much as he gives will be fine as long as he receives most of what he gives. However, when he doesn\u2019t get anything in return, he will be much more unhappy than those who never give anything in the first place. That\u2019s why love can be regarded as the seed of hatred. Those who don\u2019t love each other never end up hating each other, but unfortunately those who love each other can sometimes become bitter enemies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The expectations we have of others is what makes us resent our parents who gave birth to us and raised us, friends who were close to us, and those we were once deeply fond of. We say we love someone, but strictly speaking, we seek happiness in being loved. There is an implicit expectation that we want to receive as much love as we give. There is a higher probability that you will receive love if you give love. However, in case your love is not returned, you will end up suffering with the feeling of betrayal. Inevitably, when love is used as a means of obtaining something, it will turn into disappointment and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no difference between the fondness your husband has for cosmos and the affection you have for your husband. Then, why is it that the husband who likes cosmos is not unhappy while the wife who likes her husband is so unhappy? The husband does not demand the cosmos to love him back just because he loves it. However, the wife demands that her husband return her love since she loves him. This is the reason that she is miserable. The fact that she asserts, \u201cThe problem is that I love him too much. From now on, I won\u2019t love him anymore.\u201d shows that she doesn\u2019t see the essence of her dilemma. Her husband\u2019s fondness for cosmos and her affection for her husband are the same. However, the difference in the two situations is that the wife demands her husband to reciprocate her love, and when her demand is not met, she becomes disappointed. This is why she feels miserable and thinks, \u201cShould I keep loving him when it\u2019s so one-sided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She should just love him. Her way of thinking is as ludicrous as hiking Mountain Sorak five or six times and complaining that she won\u2019t go there anymore because Mountain Sorak never tells her that it loves her. Does it make sense for her to be dependent on the response from Mountain Sorak? Her husband never thinks, \u201cShould I discontinue to like cosmos?\u201d Therefore, her problem will be resolved once she lets go of her expectation of her husband to return her love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The husband will be happy that his wife loves him, but if her love borders on obsession, he could get annoyed. What would happen if a grandmother prepares a meal for her grandchild and keeps putting food into his mouth saying, \u201cPlease, try this. Now, try this\u201d? Even though the child is aware of his grandmother\u2019s love for him, he will eventually refuse to have meals with her if she does that every time he visits her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is nothing wrong with the woman\u2019s loving her husband. But, she should realize that she loves him for her own sake, not for the sake of her husband. The reason she wants to cook delicious food for her husband is that she wants to do it, so she should not expect him to be grateful and enjoy the food as much as she would like him to. Thus, her new mindset should be, \u201cJust as I\u2019m glad that I am able to love flowers, I\u2019m so happy that I\u2019ve got a husband to love. I\u2019m grateful to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This wife is someone who can\u2019t stand being without her husband. It\u2019s not because of the husband but because she needs to have someone to love but doesn\u2019t have anyone else to love. The reason she has a hard time when the husband is away is that she misses him so much. Therefore, instead resolving to stop loving him, she should pray, \u201cI\u2019m grateful that I have a husband to love.\u201d Then, she will be able to moderate her emotions and become relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel instantly happy when we look at the ocean. When I look at the ocean, is it the ocean that\u2019s happy or is it I? It\u2019s I who feel happy. We feel happy not because the ocean likes us but because we like the ocean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mountain is just a mountain, the ocean is just an ocean, and the sky is just a sky. Because we like them just for what they are without wanting anything in return, we feel good and happy. When we love someone without wanting anything in return, even if that person doesn\u2019t love us, we are happy enough just being able to look at him. Try liking someone or something without expecting anything in return. Just as we love the ocean and enjoy the mountains.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"We Are Lonely Not Because We Love More But Because We Expect More","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"we-are-lonely-not-because-we-love-more-but-because-we-expect-more","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:57:15","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:57:15","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15513","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15510,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-20 11:43:04","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-20 16:43:04","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: Everything in this world changes. Therefore, dwelling in the past and clinging to the way things used to be will cause pain and anguish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s only natural that even the close friend from childhood have a hard time staying in touch with one another as time passes because they become busy with their own lives. As a result, when they get together, they don\u2019t feel as close as they used to in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will always be friends, but they won\u2019t be as close as they were when they were young. This is a natural occurrence among friends as they get older.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI recently realized that I don\u2019t have a single friend with whom I can relax and have a drink when I want to. I feel awkward around one friend for no particular reason, I get a headache when I am with another friend because he is so stubborn, and I get tired and irritated by yet another friend of mine because he never compromises with anybody. It feels as though my circle of friends is dwindling and I only have a few genuine friends left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, when I visited my hometown, about five friends would get together with me. Nowadays, when I go home, only one or two friends make an effort to see me. Even at that, I don\u2019t think they\u2019re excited to see me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a complaint from a young man in his early thirties. His story is not an uncommon one since many people feel sad about becoming estranged from their friends as they get older. They express their hurt feelings in words such as \u201cWe don\u2019t hang out anymore.\u201d and \u201cI feel my friends have become selfish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our adolescent years, friendship plays such an important role in our lives. We spend a lot of time with our friends and do everything with them. We talk openly about things we don\u2019t dare tell our parents. Thus, in a way, we tend to depend more on our friends than our parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During our early childhood years, we depend on our parents for everything. Then, during our primary school years, friends take up a large portion of our social life. When we reach our adolescence years, we begin to take interest in the opposite gender and start dating. Then, when we enter the workforce, we form relationships with our colleagues. These changes occur naturally as we go through the different phases in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel sad about becoming distant from your childhood friends, it is an indication that you are still dwelling on the fond memories of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you are married, you meet your friends less often. It becomes difficult to buy your friends a drink because you need to get your spouse\u2019s consent. If you are a woman, your responsibility of taking care of your husband and children take precedence over your old friends, which will make going out with your friends in the evening very challenging. When you have a family, you cannot go out to see people as freely as you did when you were single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similar changes take place in our relationship with our siblings. When we were young, we could have never imagined living apart from our siblings since we shared meals and clothes with one another every day. But once we get married and create our own families, we go our separate ways. So, when we have spouses and children, helping out our siblings or parents financially becomes difficult. If you give financial support to your siblings, your spouse may argue \u201cHow could you do that? We barely have enough to stay afloat ourselves!\u201d Then, there is nothing you can say to defend yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must learn to accept the changes that occur in the different phases of our lives as something natural. The reason you feel unhappy and cannot accept the changes is that you remember your past as the \u201cgood old days.\u201d and don\u2019t want to let go. It\u2019s not your friends who are indifferent and disloyal. In fact, you are the one who is being immature. Whether you admit it or not, you are also feeling more distant from your friends. The fact that some of your friends make you feel uncomfortable and some others make you feel tired means that your feelings toward your friends are not what they used to be. Because you are being too critical of your friends\u2019 behaviors and blaming them for the reason for the change in the relationship, your attitude is causing an increasingly bigger rift between you and your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEvery year I am becoming more sensitive and short-tempered, so I suffer from chronic gastritis. I\u2019m taking prescription medication for the condition, how can I become a more relaxed and even-tempered person?\u201d When you want to control others and cater to your preference all the time, you can\u2019t help but feel drained and increase your chances of ending up with a physical illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, you need to let go of the notion that you have to be with your friends all the time. Only then will you be free. You should be happy when you are with friends because you can enjoy their company, and also be happy when you are by yourself because you can enjoy your own company. That way, it won\u2019t matter to you whether you are alone or with people, and you will also feel good whenever you see your friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an old saying, \u201cDon\u2019t stop those who come your way, but also don\u2019t stop those who leave.\u201d This doesn\u2019t mean you should neglect your current relationships. Rather, it means you should accept your relationships just the way they are. There is no way to stop your relationship with others from changing, so it is best not to cling to them. Only when you don\u2019t get attached to your relationships, can you truly enjoy them and the opportunities to form new relationships will open up to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel stressed when you are not able to understand others, but you feel good when you are able to understand them. Likewise, liking someone fills the heart with joy but hating someone causes pain and suffering. Unfortunately, however, since we are more used having a negative mindset, we are more familiar with insisting on our ways and resenting and hating others rather than understanding them. When you feel such negative emotions, consciously observing your mind, for instance, \u201cI felt hatred because I didn\u2019t like what he said.\u201d and \u201cI feel resentment because my friend doesn\u2019t spend enough time with me,\u201d helps dissipate those emotions. As you continue to observe your mind, your obsession about friendship and hatred toward your friends will gradually diminish over time.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Things You Gain And Lose As You Age","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"things-you-gain-and-lose-as-you-age","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:47:24","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:47:24","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15510","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15507,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-13 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-13 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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P<\/strong>: There was a businessman who achieved great success after years of hard work. Unfortunately, however, the man fell ill before he could finally enjoy the fruits of his labor. He was diagnosed with final stage cancer and was informed that he only had one year left to live. Upon hearing the sad news, his friends visited him at the hospital to comfort him and give him their support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As fate would have it, one of the friends who was returning home after visiting him at the hospital got into a car accident and was killed on the spot. From the perspective of the friend who lost his life in the car accident, he had felt sorry for his friend who had only one year to live and consoled him when he himself actually had only one day to live. The moral of the story is that we really don\u2019t know what will happen to us in the very next second. While you are worried about someone else\u2019s life, you could be facing your own death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all know that everyone will ultimately die but, subconsciously, we go through life as if we are going to live forever. Only when we are faced with our own death do we finally realize that life is not infinite and accept our immortality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had my first encounter with death when I was in middle school. My housemate fell while riding the bicycle, and he died instantly when he hit his head on a small rock. This accident was a great shock to me. My friend who was perfectly fine one minute was dead the next minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Incidentally, during my adolescent years, I was quite sickly. Even running a 100 meter dash would leave me with blue spots all over my body and make me faint. In addition to being sickly, the monk who ordained me told my mother that I would die young, so his words always stayed in my mind. He did not say how young I would die, but I figured I would live to about 40 years old. However, his remark served not as a fear but as a great motivation that enabled me to apply myself fully to everything I did in my life because I was determined to make the most of my given time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I believed that I may only live to be in my 40\u2019s, while most people live to be in their 70\u2019s and 80\u2019s, I was determined to live my life with twice or three times the intensity of other people. I pushed myself so hard that I fainted from physical exhaustion several times. However, after I passed the age of 40, I felt relieved that I had already lived beyond my life expectancy and was no longer anxious. Now, I feel as though my life beyond the age 40 is a gift I didn\u2019t expect to have. Because I am still alive, I work hard, but even if I were to suddenly die, I wouldn\u2019t feel bad at all. That\u2019s why, I don\u2019t particularly have regrets about any unrealized goals or much worries in life. I always thought I would not live beyond the age of 40, but ever since I passed that age and have continued to live, I was able to approach life with ease and became more relaxed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness and has only one year to live, the common mistake that the patient and the people around him make is believing that having only one year to live causes the suffering. However, dwelling on the thought that he has only one year to live is what causes the suffering and makes him waste the precious time left in his life. If you only have a year to live, instead of worrying about dying, live every day to its fullest with 10 times the intensity of others. Spend your days paying back to others anything you may owe, pay compliments to those you never did before, and be generous to those in need with the things you held onto so tightly as if you would live forever. If you can live happily in this manner for a year, it will be the best way to live the remaining days of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t think of much wasting away today because we believe we will live forever, but death may come at any moment. Therefore, if we do our best as if today were the last day of our lives, we can live a life without regrets even if we died today.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Living A Life That You Won\u2019t Regret Even If You Died Tomorrow","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"living-a-life-that-you-wont-regret-even-if-you-died-tomorrow-2","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 11:42:45","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:42:45","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15507","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15500,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-06-11 11:06:57","post_date_gmt":"2023-06-11 16:06:57","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Q: When I am about to go to work in the morning, I am so distressed that I want to cry. I break down into tears at work, feel pathetic, and I feel a pressure on my chest when returning home. I want to quit my job, but everyone around me says to hold out because it\u2019s hard to enter a major company like this, especially since it is so difficult to get a job these days. And it\u2019s a kind of job where women can work for a long time as well. But going every day feels so painful I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/gwmw><\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Someone says to a friend who doesn\u2019t smoke, \u201cThis cigarette is nice. Try one.\u201d The friend tries it, but it gives him a stinging sensation in his throat and makes him cry. Nevertheless, he keeps trying it because his friend dares him to smoke. He keeps smoking, shedding tears, having coughing fits. He could just quit, but he doesn\u2019t want to waste the cigarette because his friend tells him that it is a really good one. He keeps smoking although it makes his throat burn because he just doesn\u2019t want to put it out. What a foolish person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A similar thing happens when people try to stop you from quitting your job because it is a great job. It doesn\u2019t matter how great it is if you don\u2019t want it. If you are too stressed, then you should quit. It is your life. Why care about the opinions of others? Go to work tomorrow morning and say \u201cgoodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot do so, try to think, \u201cWhy can\u2019t I give it up?\u201d If it is because of money, you could earn money doing something like a housekeeping job. You think being a housekeeper would not help you save face? How about a janitor? Still not enough? Then think about other jobs you could do, and examine yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Afterward, if you think that keeping this job is better than being a housekeeper or a cleaning lady, then just keep doing what you are doing. If you think, however, \u201cI don\u2019t want this even if it pays me millions and treats me well,\u201d then there is no need to linger. You don\u2019t need to cry. Crying means that you don\u2019t want the job, yet you don\u2019t want to waste the opportunity either. The central issue here is greed. That is what you need to put down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you cannot choose either way, come to Mungyeong. We have a program in which you can meditate in seclusion for 100 days. Try living as a monk for 100 days. Get up at dawn to pray, clean, wash dishes and work all day. When you go to bed exhausted at night, another day will begin in no time. Living like this may open your eyes and give you wisdom. If 100 days is not enough, then try another 100 days. If that is still not enough, try another 100 days. One year may open your eyes, and three years may change your entire perception of life. Afraid to fall three years behind? Living like this for three years will actually save you much more time than wandering about your entire life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are not able to say \u201cgoodbye\u201d to your job, then make yourself change your mind. Compare your job to a day of labor on construction sites. Go to work thinking, \u201cI\u2019ll make $70 today whereas I\u2019d make only $50 doing a construction job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

You are the host of your life. No one else is responsible for it. Live your life making your own decisions instead of letting others control it for you. If you cannot make a decision, toss a coin. If it comes up heads, quit; if it comes up tails, keep your job. It is not worth worrying so much over life. Just live it. I don\u2019t mean that you should live carelessly. Live with ease, that\u2019s all. Life is very simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we feel, then, that life and the world are so complicated? Because your head is cluttered, not the world. Try to abandon your greed and make simple decisions. You\u2019ll keep your head clear and simple, too.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"My Job Distresses Me So Much It Makes Me Cry","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"my-job-distresses-me-so-much-it-makes-me-cry","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:01:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:01:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15500","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14185,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-12-02 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-12-02 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

Q: Can I talk about meditation as well as your peace work? I want to hear about how these two integrated. Obviously it has huge impact in other works you are doing. Also how we can introduce meditation in our lives to make a step towards peace?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Say if you are angry. Understand that this produces hatred towards others. Any action that comes out of that emotion becomes destructive. So if you seek to engage in peace activism you can\u2019t be angry while doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why it is important for you to gain a peace of mind before you engage in peace activism. If you raise a criticism while you are in a peaceful state of mind then your criticism becomes constructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the key point of meditation is to gain that peace of mind. There are three necessary conditions. First is to reduce any tension you have. The second is to have a singular focus for your mind. For example, maybe focus on the tips of your nose. Focus on the ins and outs of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And third you have to be aware and awake for that focus. You have to maintain a state of wakefulness. For example, say we engage in a breath e meditation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First try to relax and loosen all the tension, make a comfortable posture, focus your mind on the tips of your nose. Become aware of your breathe, because we are breathing every single moment but we are not aware.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you focus on breathing, when you breathe in you are aware of the breathe going in and when you breathe out you are aware of the breathe going out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you are panting just from exercise you realize that you are panting, and if you are breathing smoothly you are aware. So it is not how you breath, you just recognize the natural state of your breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To really focus on the nature of your breathe is not as easy as it sounds. Because we have these random thoughts always coursing through our heads. If you lose your focus, then you lose the sense of awareness of your breathe. So forget about the past and then don\u2019t think about the futures. Just here and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just focus on the breathe and realize the existence of the breathe here and now. If you manage to do this you will gain peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with peaceful mind, our mind becomes even smoother. But if your breathe becomes too smooth then you will lose focus and you will allow thoughts. That\u2019s why you need intensive focus to maintain awareness of your breathe. Then you gain even deeper peaceful state of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s always the risk of losing that focus. That\u2019s why the more you become aware of your breath the more you need to focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you manage to focus then your breathe becomes really smooth, you can even feel the difference of the temperature of the air. Then you attain a state of really clear awareness of everything that goes around you. From this state or self-peace, can your engagement with peace activism be constructive? But if you are angry and engage in peace activism, you tend to fight in the name of peace.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Integrating Meditation And Peace Work","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"integrating-meditation-and-peace-work","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:52:07","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:52:07","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14185","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":14182,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2022-11-29 01:00:00","post_date_gmt":"2022-11-29 06:00:00","post_content":"\n


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Q: You mentioned staying awake to the here and now, but how can one focus on the present if the present is full of suffering and stress?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:\u00a0<\/strong>Excluding physical pain, suffering does not exist in the present. We suffer when our conscious travels back to certain memories in the past. We feel worried or anxious when our conscious travels into the future. When you are awake to the present, suffering does not arise although any physical pain you have remains. Physical pain is in the realm of the physical world and cannot be eliminated mentally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, physical pain can influence the mind. Physical pain leading to mental suffering such as anger or regret is an issue of the mind. Such mental suffering will disappear when you focus on the present. This does not mean that physical pain will also disappear. If you focus on the present, you will recognize physical pain simply as a sensation. Since most of us have an aversion to physical pain, it causes mental suffering. So you simply recognize physical pain as is without liking or disliking it.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I should not say that because I fully recognized that there will be consequences to my choice. So all choices are equal except when you make a choice you have to be aware of the consequences and be willing to accept this consequences.<\/p>\n","post_title":"Staying Here And Now Amid Suffering","post_excerpt":"Sunim gave a Dharma Q&A session at Princeton on Oct. 1, 2014","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"staying-here-and-now-amid-suffering","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2022-11-20 11:42:29","post_modified_gmt":"2022-11-20 16:42:29","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=14182","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":3},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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