\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

\n
\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the morning, you can\u2019t just hope that the desire to pray will arise by itself. If you pray not only on the days you want to pray, but also on the days when you don\u2019t want to, then you will continue to do so consistently as a result, and become a person who does not lose his or her original intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is the same with feelings toward others. There are times when you like a person, and also when you don\u2019t like a person. But since the mind itself can\u2019t be trusted, you won\u2019t reject them even when you dislike them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t take your feelings seriously when someone says something bad to you, your feeling toward that person can be kept the same, no matter what that person does.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019ll always be in a good mood. When you know that your likes and dislikes are not to be trusted and you adhere to the perspective of maintaining a steady relationship, eventually the people around you will think, \"This person doesn\u2019t change.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> Embedded in the desire for longevity is the yearning to not part with the people in our lives. As the old Korean proverb, \u201cA life in a heap of dung is still better than no life at all,\u201d implies, we are emotionally attached to life despite the suffering we experience in life for various reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tell themselves they only want to live until their children get married, until they have grandchildren, or just until the grandchildren go to college. Better yet, they say they want to live just long enough to see their grandchildren get married, all in an attempt to postpone the separation from their loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how hard we try to avoid thinking about death, when we see people close to us die, we can\u2019t help but confront the futility of life and the fear of death. There was a person who wondered, \u201cDoes the spirit vanish when the body dies? If everything vanishes into nothingness, what is the point of holding onto life so dearly?\u2019 as he witnessed a family member, emaciated after years of illness, failing to swallow even a drop of water. Gradually losing weight when someone is at the very end of his life is a natural process, and it is not a bad thing. Like an oil lamp that quietly fades away, consuming every bit of your own energy as you pass away could be considered a good death. Additionally, if you can remain lucid until your last breath, that would be even better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Heart Sutra, there is the phrase, \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d This does not mean the things continue to exist for eternity without changing. Rather it means even though we believe there are life and death, in truth, life and death are not two separate entities. When we go to the beach, we can see waves. The waves are formed and then they break once they reach the shore, and this process is repeated continuously. However, if you take a step back and view the sea as a whole, you will realize it\u2019s not that the waves are formed and then vanish, but rather the sea is just being turbulent. When you view life the way you view the sea as a whole, you will see that there is no life and death. When you observe individual waves, each wave is formed and then broken just as life seems to appear and disappear on the surface. However, this is not the actuality; it is simply a matter of our perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s say a four-year-old boy filled a bowl with ice cubes and went outside to play. When he returned a couple of hours later, he saw the bowl filled with water instead of ice. What do you think the boy said?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, the ice cubes are gone, and there is water in the bowl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the mother, knowing what has happened, is able to explain to the boy that the ice has simply melted and turned into water and that the ice cubes did not disappear into thin air or the water suddenly appeared from nowhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are like this child. We perceive the world with the perspective of what we can see in front of us. We are happy when we see things appear and we despair when we see things disappear from our eyes. However, when you are able to see the big picture, you will realize that things simply change. That is what the phrase \u201cdoes neither appear nor disappear.\u201d means. In other words, things do not appear or disappear from this world; rather, things only change their forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decomposition of a dead body and the daily regeneration of cells in a living body can be regarded the same in that they are both changes. In the same vein, the regeneration of cells in our bodies can be compared to the replacement of the old pine needles by the new ones, which makes the evergreen trees appear green all the time. Also, the rapid process of decomposition of the dead body is analogous to decaying of the fallen leaves, which makes the trees look dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the fact that change is the only constant phenomenon in this world, we believe something is alive when we can see it and something is dead when we can no longer see it. Furthermore, when something appears in front of our eyes, we think it is born. Thoughts also suddenly enter into our heads and just as suddenly they disappear. Even if we promise, \u201cI will love you until death do us part,\u201d love will diminish over time. Believing that love will last forever or hope that it won\u2019t change is wishful thinking. Suffering is caused by your desire for things to stay the same, not by the change of heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you fully accept that everything in this world changes, you will not feel so tormented when you see things change. Like the appearance and disappearance of waves, everything that comes into existence must come to an end. Once you fully grasp this truth, you won\u2019t have fears or regrets. However, since you only perceive fragments of the big picture, you miss the things you believe are gone and are afraid that things will disappear. After you realize that aging and death are simple changes, you will no longer be afraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Life And Death Are Nothing More Than Change In Form","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"life-and-death-are-nothing-more-than-change-in-form","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-07-22 14:43:47","post_modified_gmt":"2023-07-22 19:43:47","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=16269","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15519,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-11 12:10:08","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-11 17:10:08","post_content":"\n


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<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

P:<\/strong> \u201cEven when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t get hit by the second arrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what the Buddha said. It means that when you are hit by the first arrow, don\u2019t keep on brooding over the suffering because this is analogous to shooting yourself with the second and third arrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are cases in which the wife continues to agonize over the husband\u2019s extramarital affair long after it has happened. In such cases, if we consider the husband\u2019s affair to be the first arrow, the wife inflicting mental suffering on herself can be regarded as getting hit by the second, the third, and even the fourth arrows every day. Extramarital affair of a spouse is the biggest crisis couples experience in a marriage. When people get married, they vow to love only each other, don\u2019t they? However, in reality, many couples experience marital conflicts because they end up falling in love with people other than their spouses. And then, people get furious at their unfaithful spouses for not keeping the marital vow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can he do this to me?\u201d A woman who came to talk to me could not contain her anger because her husband was cheating on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a course of a marriage, it is possible for a person to feel attracted to someone other than his or her spouse.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my husband promised that he would love only me when we got married.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course he did. Did you expect him to say something else at the wedding? If he had said, \u201cI am going to have an affair after we get married,\u201d do you think you would have married him?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen he lied to me, didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, he did not lie to you. At the time, he must have really felt that he would love only you, but his feelings just have changed over the years.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A person\u2019s feelings change constantly even from morning to night, so it is virtually impossible to know how your feelings will change a day from now much less several years from now. You should have entered your marriage knowing that feelings change over time. Being unaware of this fact is what caused the problems in your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we can see in this instance, when people hold onto the belief that their spouse\u2019s initial promise of love for them will last forever, they will inevitably have problems in their marriage. The wife is deeply hurt at the fact that, by having an affair, her husband broke his vow, so she cannot get over the feeling of betrayal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In another instance, there was a woman in a long-distance marriage who was deeply hurt when she found out that her husband had an extramarital affair. She was pregnant at the time and suffered from depression after finding out about it. Luckily, she got much better after attending the Enlightenment Retreat. Nevertheless, she confessed to me that she is still afraid of her husband and that he feels like a stranger to her. Since then, the husband has also attended Enlightenment Retreat and has been trying hard to be a be a good family man. In response to her husband\u2019s efforts, the wife also tried her best to save the marriage, but she said she is torn between her feelings of \u201cI want to have a good marriage with my husband\u201d and \u201cHow can I live with him after what he has done to me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a case like this, instead of contemplating for too long, it is best to make a decision quickly. If she doesn\u2019t want to live with her husband, she should go her separate ways right away. The longer she takes to make a decision, the more tiring her life will be and the more emotionally damaging it will be to her children. She can take responsibility for making her own life complicated, but making her children suffer because of her actions is morally wrong. Children are born with a right to be loved and protected by their parents. However, this couple has ruthlessly trampled on the right of their children. It is unacceptable that parents end up taking away their children\u2019s rights because they are so blinded by their own bias and opinions. If they do, they will greatly suffer the consequences in the future because of their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she decides to stay with her husband, what kind of attitude should she have? Who gets hurt if she keeps on hating her husband? She should know that she is the one who suffers when she hates her husband. If she considers her husband a lowly being and thinks \u201cHe is such a beast,\u201d it means she is sharing a bed with a beast. On top of that, that makes her child\u2019s father a beast as well. How can a child of a beast turn out well? If she maintains a sexual relationship with her husband despite feeling repulsed by his touch because of his extramarital affair, she is likely to suffer from extreme stress. Ultimately, the more she hates her husband the more damage she is inflicting on herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she found out about her husband\u2019s affair when she was pregnant. It would have been better for her if she hadn\u2019t known about it at all, but unfortunately, she found out and, as a result, suffered from depression. The best way to handle a situation such as this one is for the wife to understand the psychology of her husband. Once she tries to understand him, she will find peace within herself. If she feels aversion toward her husband, her health will be at risk. On the other hand, if she regards her husband in a positive light, her child becomes a good person because her husband is one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you should ever experience something like this in your marriage, I advise you to repent toward your husband. Intuitively, you may think, \u201cWhy should I be the one to repent when I am not sure I want to stay with him even if he repents toward me first.\u201d However, it\u2019s foolish to think that way. I am not saying that you should do it for your husband\u2019s sake. You should think about how you can make yourself happy in your current situation. Forgiveness is actually not the answer. You should just let it go. You should completely let go of the whole idea that your husband did something wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you hold onto her husband\u2019s past wrongdoing as his flaw, you will want to use it to get back at him at some point. Then, your husband will only resist in order to defend himself. What do you think will happen when you drop the issue completely? Being conscious of his flaw, he will try that much harder to become a good husband. When you see your husband trying so hard, you should be sympathetic toward him and say to him, \u201cA man shouldn\u2019t be so hard on himself over something like that. It\u2019s all right, people make mistakes and go on. I want you to relax and be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than resenting him, it\u2019s wiser to comfort and encourage him. This is solely for your own happiness. This is a way to become an independent person of unshakable happiness. If you believe, \u201cMy husband is a good person,\u201d it means you have dated a good person, been married to a good person, and had the child of a good person. On the contrary, if you perceive your husband as a beast, it means that you have mistaken a beast for a person, have been married to a beast and had the child of a beast. Thinking this way is self-abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many married people show such self-abusive behavior. Being cold to your husband is what is making you and your family miserable. If you choose to stay in the marriage, it\u2019s best for you to wholeheartedly embrace him with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was not wise. I have been so wrapped up in my own world that I didn\u2019t know I was making you feel misunderstood and lonely\u201d Only when you pray this way, will the negative feelings toward your husband disappear. This is the process of dissolving karma. When you practice this way, you can let go of your hatred toward your husband and earn dignity. Only then, will you be able to obtain happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of Madam Yoohwa whose son founded the Goguryo Dynasty. When she was a maiden, she and her younger sister went flower picking on a meadow and met an old man with a white beard. He was riding on a fancy carriage used by people of high status, an equivalent of a modern-day luxury car, and enticed her, saying, \u201cI am Haemosoo, son of Heavenly God.\u201d Madam Yoohwa trusted his words and spent the day with him. However, to her dismay, Haemosoo disappeared the next day without a trace. She patiently waited in vain to hear from him. When her parents found out what had happened, they became furious. They kicked her out for the house for having been with a man without their consent and still missing him and waiting for his return. King Gumwa, who happened to be out hunting at the time, spotted Yuhwas and was so smitten by her that he took her with him to his palace and made her his second wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yoohwa gave birth to a son and named him Joomong. Even though he was born as a prince, he was mistreated in the palace because he was the son of a concubine and there were rumors that he was not the King\u2019s biological son. However, Madam told her son, \u201cYour father is Haemosoo\u201d and always spoke of him with reverence. Whenever Joomong was being mistreated in the palace, she would encourage him with the words, \u201cYou are greater than the other princes because you are the son of Haemosoo. You possess the qualifications and capabilities to be the head of a kingdom.\u201d The mother\u2019s words came true, and Joomong later became the founding father of the Goguryo Dynasty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, it\u2019s not important whether or not you have a husband. Being poor is not a problem either. It\u2019s only when the mom has an inferiority complex about poverty that her child will inherit the same inferiority complex. A single mom doesn\u2019t produce a problem child. Only when the single mom feels lonely and is emotionally unstable will the child have problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a manner of speaking, Madam Yoohwa had a one-night stand with an old man, and she was deceived by his sweet talk. However, since she believed him so implicitly, it was as if he never deceived her in the first place. Throughout her life, Madam Yoohwa kept her faith in the man with whom she spent only one day together. Such an unshakable faith enabled her to raise her son to become a brave and confident young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman becomes emotionally unstable and acts unpredictably because of her husband\u2019s one-time affair, she will make herself and her family miserable. She has other roles to play besides being a wife. As a mother, she should consider the well-being of her children. In short, she should make a decision as to what to do about the marriage as soon as possible, which will bring peace to herself and her children.<\/gwmw><\/p>\n","post_title":"Warding Off The Depression Caused By The Husband\u2019s Affair","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"warding-off-the-depression-caused-by-the-husbands-affair","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 12:16:52","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 17:16:52","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15519","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"},{"ID":15537,"post_author":"40","post_date":"2023-07-05 13:19:47","post_date_gmt":"2023-07-05 18:19:47","post_content":"\n

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","post_title":"[Meditation Q&A] What is a correct way to feel awareness?","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","post_password":"","post_name":"meditation-qa-what-is-a-correct-way-to-feel-awareness","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2023-06-11 13:31:14","post_modified_gmt":"2023-06-11 18:31:14","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"https:\/\/www.jungtosociety.org\/?p=15537","menu_order":0,"post_type":"post","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"next":false,"prev":true,"total_page":2},"paged":1,"column_class":"jeg_col_2o3","class":"jnews_block_37"};

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<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/gwmw><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When you observe your mind as it is, you may notice that it frequently changes from this to that; one thing and then another. Therefore, your mind is something that can\u2019t be trusted.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t take it as a problem when your mind changes, and don\u2019t become attached to the feelings that arise in each moment. You should know that likes and dislikes don\u2019t mean much when you can see yourself liking someone then hating them again shortly afterward. You should know that it\u2019s not that your mind shouldn\u2019t change, but that your mind is something that will change again after a while.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So don\u2019t get too excited when you like something, yet don\u2019t reject it when you dislike something. You should deal with your feelings in a slightly detached manner when you feel good, not so good, happy, or so miserable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about being out of control when you feel good, or throwing a tantrum when you feel bad, rather it\u2019s about knowing and being aware that \u201cgood feelings are arising\" when you feel good, and \u201cbad feelings are arising\u201d when you feel bad. Then you can become a person whose mind does not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you decide to pray in the m