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Home Dharma Q&A Mindfulness

How Can I Stop Being Greedy?

Selection from a Dharma Q&A session in Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York (Oct. 2 2014)

March 16, 2021

Q: My question is how to control my mind that’s becoming more greedy. I was able to graduate from program that I wanted. I think I could potentially get a job that I’ve been dreaming of. But these days, I had trouble getting a job after the graduation. I noticed myself wanting more and more, becoming more resentful of not being able to get a job. I try to control myself. I try to be more mindful of what’s going on in my mind. But at times, it’s hard to control myself and to be appreciative of what I have already. Do you have any tips?

P: You said you have trouble getting a job?

Q: Yes.

P: No. You have trouble getting a good job that you want. There are a lot of jobs available in the world.

Q: Maybe you are right.

P: So the job you want is a good job right?

Q: It could be, but at the same time a lot of people who graduate from the program I did would get it.

P: We can’t all achieve what we want. Graduating from law school doesn’t automatically mean you will become an attorney. Entering medical school doesn’t automatically mean you will become a doctor. So there is no reason for you to suffer just because you didn’t get what you want. In this world, it is not possible for people to get everything they want. If you try to get 100 percent of what you want every time, you will be unhappy throughout your life. At the same time, you can’t do everything that people ask of you. This is a reality of life. Do you want to live your life in misery because you can’t accept this? If you want a job, just take any job you can get because you need make a living first and foremost. Then, while you are working on that job, you can try to transition into a better job, one that you want. Otherwise, you’ll be unemployed for a long time just sitting around and waiting for the perfect job to come along. This is what I tell young people. You have to start off with a good first job. Then, you’ll be able to hold a job for the rest of your life. Otherwise, you might be unemployed for the rest of your life. So what is the good first job? It can be defined as a job that requires a lot of work but pay little.

There is a good reason why that’s a good first job. First, there are a lot of such jobs around. You can even get one tomorrow. Second, you don’t have to be too mindful of your boss because you don’t have much to lose. Even if he fires you, it’ll be easy for you to find another job right away. In fact, your boss may worry about losing you. It’s because you are a very valuable employee given the fact that you don’t get a big salary. So as an employee, you can actually be the boss of the situation, and you won’t have to be afraid of getting fired. At the same time, you can always jump ship for a better job when the opportunity comes. Then, your boss will likely try to make you stay by offering you a raise. It will be your choice whether to stay or move to another job. No matter what your next job is, it is going to be better than the first one. That’s why you’ll be always employed.

However, if your first job pays a high salary and has a light workload, you will have trouble keeping it and getting another job. There is a lot of competition for that kind of job and everybody wants it. That’s why it’s tough to get a first job like that, and you may waste a few years trying to get one. Even if you get a job like that, you will be walking on eggshells in fear of getting fired. A big salary comes with strings attached since there a lot of expectations that come with that money. If you’re not capable of meeting those expectations, you will be very stressed. Then, if you get fired, you won’t be able to easily find a job because you’ll be trying to get a comparable job to your first job. Then, you may live the rest of your life unemployed and feeling inferior all the time. It’s a good thing you asked me today. First thing tomorrow morning, go and find a job, any job, and start working right away. Then, start applying for those jobs you really want. But don’t try to get your dream job the first time around. Just, try to get a slightly better job each time. Then after you have changed jobs about five times, you may be able to find a job that you’ll be happy with. So you shouldn’t waste your time trying to find a perfect match from the beginning. I can tell you that you really don’t have any problems.

Tags: featured dharma talkgreedinessmindfulness

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