How Can I Balance My Unstable Personality?

Q: I’m extreme opposites. I’m extremely happy, then extremely depressed. I’m extremely energetic then extremely tired. Even through the years, I noticed the trends. Last year, I just left the entire year. Now, my energy is coming back. The previous year before that, I was really energetic. It’s constantly back and forth. I’m just wondering if there’s some kind of normality. Is it something I have to accept? Is there something I could practice like meditation to regulate it?

P: There are a lot of people here tonight. Everyone has a different face. We are all the same in that we are human beings, but we have different skin colors, shapes and sizes. It is the same with our minds. There are people more logical, and then there are people that are more sentimental than others. In today’s psychology, human personality is defined into 16 different categories. It is defined all the way from very radical to very emotional. So you probably belong more to the sentimental and emotional category. It’s a tendency that runs across the spectrum, so there is no problem, per say, in what you experience.

However, there are jobs or type of work that would fit your personality more than others. You probably are not going to do well as CEO of a company where you’d have to deal with a lot of people. It is because when you are energetic and happy, you would give them lots of love and care but when you are tired and depressed, you would hate them. So it will be very difficult for them to cater to your needs and wants. So, what is right for you? Maybe you could be an artist. You can paint for a year straight, and then when you feel down, you can take a break from it. A perfect career for you will be something you can do independently on your own, which doesn’t involve working with others. Because when you are energetic and happy, your level of concentration will be higher and you will be able to display your ability at your peak capacity. So it will be great for you if you want to leverage what you have and choose a path that suits you. But if you choose something that doesn’t match your personality, then you’d suffer.

Second, if you want to improve… However, it’s very hard to control your innate personality. This is something that resides deep within your subconscious and most of this was inherited from your parents. There’s saying in Korea that a habit you gain when you are three years old will continue until you are eighty. It just means that it is very hard to change your nature. You have to be aware of your feelings and notice your unique karma. When you are energetic and happy, or when you’re depressed and sad, you have to realize it as is. You have to control yourself to not be too excited when you are happy. Or when you start going down, recognize that is your karma acting on you and look for something that will improve your mood. If you do want to fix and control your mood shifts, meditation can be a way. But you will fail if you try to control it 100%. If you want to improve it just a little, it can be possible. Because during meditation, it’s easier for you to observe how your mood shifts. Then, with practice, it may become possible for you to not be dragged around by your emotions.