P: Sometimes we feel that we are lagging behind while others live their lives to the fullest and pursue their dreams. Our inner conflict is amplified when we have dreams we want to realize and things we want to do but are forced to give them up because of our current circumstances.
A man in his thirties complained that he had to give up his dreams in order to make a living and that he was very unhappy because of his reality.
He said, “If I had the means, I would like to resume my studies in design. However, since I am married and have a child, it’s getting harder to quit my job and pursue my dream. Is it alright to abandon my dream and just live like this?”
Often, we think that we would be happy if we had a job for which we had an aptitude. Aptitude matters for some jobs, but it doesn’t for others. It was my dream to become a scientist, and I thought that I had an aptitude for it. I had never even imagined of becoming a monk. So you can imagine how much torment and inner conflict I must have experienced to live as a monk rather than as a scientist.
Since I left home at 16 and lived as a monk, I have tried to apply science in my life in a new way. As I had an interest in the sciences, I did not believe in groundless elements in religion, and I distanced myself from them. I thought hard about the question, “What do I need to do to help people understand the Buddha’s teaching more easily?” Therefore, in my talks, I try to deliver the Buddha’s teaching coherently and logically. In sum, no matter what kind of work you do, it is affected by your personal inclination.
You may say, “I have an aptitude for science, so I must have a job related to science.” This is a fixed notion.
You can’t be sure that your aptitude is right only for certain jobs. If you do your best in your work, you can manifest your talents and abilities in any job.
I often tell young people who are looking for jobs, “Do what you really want to do. Do what makes your heart beat faster.” They need to think carefully about the true meaning of these words. Young people should search for jobs that suit them rather than trying to become doctors, lawyers, or government officials in pursuit of money, position, or security. Also, if there are jobs that they think they will be good at and really want to get, they should pursue them even if they don’t get paid much initially, and they should not weigh whether they are so-called good jobs or not. Occupations that most people say are good are not necessarily good for everyone, so one should not blindly follow the path that the majority of people recommend.
However, you don’t need to torment yourself with questions like, “Why don’t I have a passion for anything?” or “Why don’t I have something that I would like to devote my life to?” There are people who have passion and there are those who don’t. Maybe it is better not to have a passion for any particular work. This is because if you can do whatever that is given to you, you will be more free. Cooking when cooking needs to be done, doing laundry when laundry needs to be done, giving a lecture when a lecture needs to be given, and doing farm work when farm work needs to be done is how people on the highest level of enlightenment live.
One can become free by not insisting, “This is the only way for me.” Most people cannot attain such freedom, so they try to focus on at least one thing and try to do it well. Therefore, you don’t have to worry about not wanting to do anything or liking anything in particular right now.
Also, you shouldn’t despair about not being able to do what you want to do. Let’s say you want to study design but your current situation doesn’t allow it. Then, you can try to incorporate design into your work instead of agonizing over not being able to study it further.
Let’s say this person becomes a monk. Wouldn’t he still have the opportunity to design? He could become interested in the design of monks’ robes, garden landscaping, or creative modernization of temple designs that preserve the traditional beauty of the structures. It’s not really important what specific kind of work you do or what kind of design you do. Working on the things that come your way, you will be able to find your aptitude and employt your talent.
Ignoring reality while searching for your dream and pursuing future happiness is like building a castle in the air. However, just focusing on making a living in the present will leave you without hope in the future. Therefore, people always agonize over whether to pursue their ideals or focus on their present circumstances. However, the relationship between the ideals and the present does not need to be a conflicting one. Your feet should be firmly planted in reality while your eyes look toward the ideals.
Thirty years ago, I opened a Dharma center with the aspiration to break away from the common practice of seeking good fortune and instead aimed to study Buddha’s original teachings and attain enlightenment. Before opening the center, I tried to follow this aspiration in a Korean Buddhist Temple which led to a lot of conflict. This is because at the temple it was customary to pray for blessings and perform ancestral rites, but I refused to participate. Many people complained about me to the abbot of the temple, saying, “If he continues to do that, we will lose all our lay Buddhists. “
I had no choice but to leave the temple and open a small Dharma center and started to spread the Buddha’s teaching. Did many people recognize my good intentions from the beginning and come to the center? No, they didn’t.
First, I handed out leaflets that read, “I have opened a Dharma center. Please, come to study Buddha’s teachings. About 10 people came after reading the leaflets. After looking around the tiny center with disappointment, they never came back. However, I kept handing out the leaflets without giving up.
Then, after preparing a three-month Buddhist lecture program, I invited a famous monk to the opening ceremony. Five people came that day, but after the first lecture, only one person remained. As it was a three-month education program, most people would have cancelled the program. However, I gave the lecture to the one remaining person for the whole three months.
After the lecture program ended, the person who had attended the lectures brought several acquaintances to the Dharma center. Also, after I again handed out additional leaflets, ten more people came, five of which stayed. I gave the three-month lecture to those people. That’s how the Dharma center slowly grew to become what it is now.
I was penniless at the time, so how was I able to keep the Dharma center open? On the days I didn’t give lectures, I worked part time as a Math instructor at an academy to cover the expenses of running the center. I continued doing this for four years and only stopped when the Dharma center finally became financially independent.
If I had compromised because of the difficulty of the situation, I wouldn’t have been able to take the path I wanted to follow. Even when we are sure of our dream for the future, we sometimes feel doubtful and ask ourselves, “Am I on the right path?” At times like these, we need to work hard while thinking about how things will be in ten years and investigate ways to face the challenges each day.
Simply waiting will not bring a good future. We make our future dream a reality by always investigating and overcoming difficulties.
