Feb 10, 2026 – Delhi-Gaya Travel, Arrival at Sujata Academy
Hi. Today is the day we travel to Sujata Academy.
Last night, Sunim boarded a train in Delhi and spent the night on the train. At 4:30 AM, while everyone was asleep in the dark train car, Sunim did his morning practice and meditation, then briefly closed his eyes again.
Morning arrived on the train heading to Gaya.
At 6 AM, the voices of staff selling food throughout the train could be heard.
“Chai, chai~” (Tea available~)
Sunim had breakfast with an omelet sold on the train. After the meal, he spent time editing manuscripts and handling work matters. Fortunately, the train wasn’t delayed, and he was able to arrive in Gaya after 15 hours.
Gaya station was unusually crowded with barely any room to move. As if summer were arriving early in India, the sunlight has changed markedly since the time of our pilgrimage.
At the train station exit, Mahendra and Anan from Sujata Academy were waiting to greet him. They got in the car and departed for Sujata Academy.
At 1:40 PM, the familiar Pragbodhi Hill spread out like a folding screen, and Sujata Academy could be seen in the distance. Upon arriving at Sujata Academy and getting out of the car, the JTS India staff and resident community members were waiting for Sunim at the entrance.
“Welcome, Sunim. You must be tired from the long journey.”
When the Indian staff presented a simple bouquet made from flowers blooming at the school, Sunim received it with a bright smile. Sunim shook hands with the staff members, sharing warm greetings.
After lunch, he spent the afternoon organizing his belongings and resting to relieve the accumulated fatigue.
Tomorrow, there will be a Weekly Dharma Assembly at 6:30 AM, followed by a comprehensive tour of JTS India’s schools, hospitals, and village development projects.
Since there was no Dharma talk today, this post concludes with a dialogue between Sunim and a questioner from the Friday Dharma Q&A held online in Delhi on the 6th.
I chose to forgive my husband’s infidelity, yet the doubt never seems to go away.
“Before you found out that your husband was secretly meeting another woman, how was it? Were you comfortable then, or were you suspicious?”
“I was comfortable then.”
“That’s right. Even if your husband was actually meeting another woman, if you didn’t know, you were comfortable. But now you’re anxious because you’re suspicious, thinking ‘What if he meets her again?’ Even though your husband isn’t meeting her, you’re anxious. Originally, shouldn’t it be that if my husband meets another woman, I’m anxious, and if he doesn’t meet her, I’m comfortable? But in reality, it’s the opposite. When your husband was meeting another woman, you were comfortable, and now even though he’s not meeting her, you’re anxious. So the statement ‘I’m anxious because my husband is meeting another woman’ or ‘I’m comfortable if he doesn’t meet her’ doesn’t hold true. Then what creates my anxiety? Is the cause whether your husband meets that woman or not, or whether I’m suspicious or not?”
“Whether I’m suspicious or not is the cause.”
“Smart. So whether your husband meets that woman or not, that itself isn’t actually the key issue. If I trust my husband, my mind becomes comfortable, and even if he’s not meeting her, if I’m suspicious thinking ‘What if he’s meeting her?’ I become anxious. How can you become comfortable? Just don’t be suspicious. When your husband says ‘I’m not meeting her,’ just believe it. Not for your husband’s sake, but because that’s how you become comfortable. What do you think?”
“I think that’s right.”
“The thought that your husband might secretly meet another woman is suspicion. When you’re suspicious, you become anxious. Even if your husband does meet another woman, if you think ‘My husband isn’t that kind of person. He protects our family and loves me,’ your mind becomes comfortable. You don’t need to excessively investigate what your husband is actually doing. If I trust, I become comfortable; if I can’t trust, I become anxious. Anxiety and comfort aren’t determined by your husband, but by you.”
“I understand now.”
“So you shouldn’t hold onto thoughts like ‘What if my husband meets her again?’ Just think ‘He says he won’t meet her, so he won’t’ and let it be.”
“I’ll try to trust him.”
“You shouldn’t ‘try’ to trust. The moment you try, doubt is already underlying it. When your husband says so, just believe it. Shouldn’t we live comfortably even if it’s just for one day?
If there really is such an incident again and it’s discovered later, you can deal with it then. Is it better to live comfortably for a year and then confront it, or to live anxiously for a year and then confront it?”
“It’s better to live comfortably and then confront it.”
“What I’m saying now isn’t for your husband’s sake. It’s for your sake. When I trust my husband, who benefits? I benefit. It’s beneficial to me. So try this from today: ‘Yes, what good does it do me to suspect my husband whom I live with? Since you say so, I’ll trust you.’ Is it easier to believe your husband when he says he won’t meet another woman? Or is it easier to believe something like ‘If you pray under a certain rock, you’ll receive blessings’ when you don’t even know if it’s true or not?”
“It’s easier to believe that my husband won’t meet another woman.”
“But why do people readily believe things they can’t even verify as true, yet find it so hard to believe the words of a husband they share a room with? There’s a saying in the Bible: ‘Blessed are those who believe.’ You should go to church.” (Laughter)
“Thank you.”
“Who is blessed?”
“Those who believe are blessed.”
“So just believe your husband’s words. Later, it might be revealed that your husband lied. But that’s not very important. What will be discovered will be discovered whether you believe or not. When it’s discovered, you can deal with it then. But if you get sick from suspecting ‘What if he’s meeting her again?’ you’ll only suffer and the relationship will only get worse. Your husband might even develop a rebellious attitude thinking ‘Since she doesn’t trust me anyway, wouldn’t it be better to actually do something bad and be distrusted?’ So not trusting brings no benefit.”
“Even though my husband has been continuously trying to reconcile, I couldn’t let go of the feeling of being ‘betrayed.’ But after listening to Sunim’s words, I now think I should make my mind comfortable and try to understand my husband a bit. I have hope that I can manage our household more peacefully. Thank you.”
“Even if someone comes and tattles, saying ‘Your husband was meeting some woman,’ you shouldn’t react impulsively saying ‘What? Really?’ You should be able to say: ‘He’s a man I love, so which woman wouldn’t like him? It’s okay!’ Of course, it might be unpleasant to hear that another woman likes your man. But if you think about it differently, isn’t it a pleasant thing that you’re living with a man that other women also desire?”
“Yes. It’s a pleasant thing.”
“The same situation becomes much more comfortable when you have that mindset. This doesn’t mean you should be lenient about infidelity. It means accepting situations that have already happened in a way that’s advantageous and comfortable for you. Don’t react sensitively to every little thing.”
