September 28, 2025. North America East Coast Lecture Tour (3) Toronto
Hello. Today is the day of Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s third lecture during his North America East Coast tour, held in Toronto, Canada’s largest city.
After waking up at 4 AM, Sunim did 108 prostrations and morning practice at his accommodation, had a simple meal, and then departed for New York’s LaGuardia Airport to head to Toronto. Before leaving, Sunim presented a newly published book on happiness from the UK to Mr. and Mrs. Yoo Jung-hee and Kim Myung-ho, who had provided accommodation, meals, and driving services for two days, and took a commemorative photo together.
Arriving at the airport at 6 AM, Sunim completed departure procedures and checked his luggage, then met Jason and waited at the boarding gate for Toronto. The flight was delayed by about 20 minutes and took off at 7:48 AM.
At 9 AM, they arrived at Toronto Pearson International Airport in Canada. After completing immigration procedures and exiting, Kang Mi-jung, who was in charge of today’s lecture, and Park Jin-dong, who came to provide driving services, warmly welcomed them.
Leaving the airport, they arrived at 10:30 AM at today’s accommodation, the home of Jung Yeon-hee. Jung Yeon-hee’s family greeted Sunim with three prostrations, welcoming his long-awaited visit to Toronto.
Since there was an English-interpreted lecture at 1 PM today, they had an early lunch. After the meal, Yoon Kyung-sook, the overseas branch president residing in Jamaica, came to greet Sunim with her husband Kim Jin-wook, saying they had taken vacation time to attend. The couple offered three prostrations and had a brief conversation with Sunim.
At noon, with Jang Hyung-won providing driving services, they departed for the University of Toronto where today’s lecture would be held. The weather was very nice. Although there were concerns about whether students would come on a Sunday, there were more students at the school than expected.
This lecture came about when Ahn Sun-young, a Jungto member working as a professor at the University of Toronto, discussed with Professor Kim Si-nae from the Department of Religious Studies since last year about inviting Venerable Pomnyun Sunim. The University of Toronto has a large Department of Religious Studies, particularly with a Buddhist Studies program sponsored by The Robert H. N. Ho Family Foundation, where active research is conducted on meditation and neuroscience. Professor Kim Seung-jung, director of the Ho Family Foundation Center, also helped secure the lecture venue.
The Robert H. N. Ho Family Foundation is a charitable foundation established in Hong Kong in 2005, with Buddhist research and dissemination as its core objectives. It has strengthened academic foundations by supporting Buddhist studies centers, professorships, and programs at various universities including Stanford, Harvard, Toronto, and British Columbia. It also operates the Buddhist online journal Buddhistdoor Global, serving as a bridge between academia and the public.
Today’s lecture was held at the William Doo Auditorium on the St. George Campus of the University of Toronto in Canada. This auditorium is used as a space where students and local citizens share academics and culture. It hosts various events including lectures, forums, and performances.
Upon arriving at the lecture hall, volunteers warmly welcomed Sunim.
After greeting the volunteers, while in the waiting room, two Jungto Dharma School students and graduates came to greet Sunim. They shared how much happier their lives had become after learning about Jungto Society and attending Jungto Dharma School. They expressed gratitude for being able to meet Sunim and Jason, who provides interpretation, in person after only seeing them through videos every week.
At 1 PM, the lecture began with an introductory video about Sunim. When the video ended and Sunim took the stage, participants welcomed him with loud applause. Since the lecture was held at a university, many young students attended. Including volunteers, about 200 people participated. Sunim first briefly introduced the Dharma Q&A format.
“What I want to have a dialogue with you about today is called ‘Jeukmun Jeukseol’ in Korean. It means asking questions without any preparation, just whatever comes to mind, and answering immediately without preparation. Dharma Q&A is not about discussing a specific predetermined topic. You select the topics. You can raise issues based on your own interests. So this is not where the speaker determines the topic, but where you create the content of the lecture. Therefore, you can freely discuss any topic.”
Anyone could then raise their hand and ask Sunim questions. During the 1 hour and 30 minutes, 12 people were able to have conversations with Sunim. One of them questioned the meaning of success and wealth while still feeling empty, and asked how to deal with jealousy, regret, and comparing minds as sources of suffering.
How Can I Deal with Jealousy, Regret, and Comparing Minds?
“Let me address your second question first. If we want to find a place with good conditions at a cheaper price when looking for housing, we need to look at many places. In other words, if we lack money, we need to put in more legwork. A place that seems good to me will likely seem good to others too, so it will be taken quickly. This is because human psychology is similar. So if you’re in a hurry, you’re likely to pay a higher price, and if you try to get a cheaper place, you might miss opportunities. You need to make appropriate choices within these conditions. There’s no other way. If something seems particularly cheap, you need to contract quickly, and if you want to find something cheaper, you need patience and time. If you need to find a place quickly, you should be prepared to pay a bit more. It’s the same when selling. If you want to sell quickly, price it low. Conversely, if you want to get more money, you need to wait longer. You need to wait for someone who urgently needs to buy and is willing to pay more. But we struggle because we want to buy cheaply while also saving time, and sell expensively while also saving time. This is called greed. If I wanted to buy a place cheaply, I would probably look at about 50 places. That way I could understand the general market price. This would be helpful not just this time but also when looking for a place in the future.”
You feel it’s a waste because the place you wanted is gone, but if that place were still available, you probably wouldn’t have made a quick decision. Because if it were still available, you would look at other places. There’s an old Korean saying: ‘The beans in someone else’s rice look bigger.’ Things become regrettable after we lose them. Within these principles, there’s no choice but to make appropriate selections.”
Returning to your first question, you said you feel empty. Why do you feel empty? Does a squirrel feel empty when going to sleep after gathering acorns? Does a cow feel empty when going to sleep? Feeling empty means wanting to fill something. It’s a problem that arises because that something isn’t being filled. This also stems from desire. Without desire, you would just be tired in the evening and go to sleep. And in the morning, you would wake up and work. When you say you feel empty, it means you’re mentally pursuing something, and the problem arises because it hasn’t been achieved. It’s not about whether this is good or bad, but rather you need to be aware of your own state. It’s not because you’re alone, but you need to diagnose yourself: ‘I’m craving something right now.'” 
“I agree with what you’re saying. Earlier, I asked you about jealousy. We live in a capitalistic society where everything seems to be about comparison. For example, if I see a friend driving a sports car, I can’t help but feel jealous. As an ordinary person, unlike you, how can we find a healthy balance?”
“You shouldn’t start with the premise that you must not feel envy or jealousy. When jealousy arises, simply be aware of it: ‘Ah, I’m feeling jealous.’ If jealousy is effective for you, then feel jealous. A little jealousy or envy can sometimes give people courage or vitality. You shouldn’t approach it as ‘jealousy is good’ or ‘jealousy is bad.’ Jealousy can work negatively sometimes and positively at other times. Comparison can work positively sometimes and negatively at other times. For example, let’s say I’m walking along a path and my legs hurt, so I’m resting. Then I see someone carrying a heavier load than me who keeps walking. I might think, ‘That person is walking with such a heavy load, how can I just sit here? Let me get up and walk!’ So I get up. Because I compared myself to them, I was able to get up again. I don’t tell you that you shouldn’t compare. What I’m saying is that if your comparisons work negatively for you, then don’t make such comparisons.”
“Thank you so much.”
Questions continued one after another.
How can I overcome continuous failures and frustrations? It seems that just working hard is not enough.
I’m living with help from friends and family. How can I become independent?
Is sadness necessary to feel happiness? Do we need to experience suffering to feel happiness?
I discovered I had cancer last year, but now I’m trying to be happy. Did my karma from growing up in an unhappy family environment create my misfortune?
Can we say that children in Gaza who are suffering from war and hunger are also suffering because of their karma?
How can we eliminate the discrimination that other young women are experiencing? It still seems like a male-dominated society.
When forming relationships with various people in society, if I meet someone with mental problems, I’m greatly affected. How can I maintain relationships without getting angry?
When we lose beloved family members, lovers, or friends to death, we can lose the meaning of life. How can we overcome such stress and anxiety?
I’m a nurse who provides chemotherapy treatment. It’s very difficult because I encounter death so often. How can I help people facing death find meaning in life?
Although there were more people who wanted to ask questions, Sunim had to wrap up the conversation regrettably as he needed to move to the next lecture venue.
After the lecture and book signing, Director Kim Seung-jung of the Munk School of Global Affairs and Public Policy said she had prepared University of Toronto merchandise and presented gifts to Sunim and Jason, who had volunteered as interpreter. Sunim also gave signed copies of his books as gifts to the three professors who had prepared and invited him for today’s lecture: Professor Kim Si-nae, Director Kim Seung-jung, and Professor Ahn Sun-young.
Many students participated in today’s lecture, and the volunteers were all happy that they had successfully accomplished both youth propagation and global propagation simultaneously. After taking a group photo with the volunteers, Sunim presented a book to Park Ok-sook, who had coordinated the lecture, as a token of his gratitude.
After cleaning up, the volunteers had a mindful sharing session with Dharma Teacher Myodeok.
“It was truly wonderful to be able to work together. I would like to participate again if there are such events in the future. I’m grateful to feel that such positive things are happening here in today’s society where so many negative things occur.”
“This was an opportunity to realize that I cannot do anything alone, and it was a chance to truly feel that we are a mosaic Buddha.”
Sunim moved to the adjacent building and had a conversation with Professor Kim Si-nae from the Department for the Study of Religion, Director Kim Seung-jung of the Munk School, and Professor Ahn Sun-young from the Department of East Asian Studies. The three professors once again expressed their gratitude for Sunim’s visit to the University of Toronto and hoped he could visit more often in the future for more dialogues. They particularly discussed the possibility of visiting on weekdays next time to meet with professors researching neuroscience and meditation. After finishing the conversation, they departed for the next lecture venue at 4 PM.
Today’s lecture for Korean residents was held at Cardinal Carter Academy for the Arts located in North York, Toronto. When Sunim arrived at the lecture venue, volunteers greeted him from the parking lot. After exchanging warm greetings with the volunteers, he headed straight to the lecture hall.
At 5 PM, the lecture began with a video introduction of Sunim. There were many young participants. With about 250 people in attendance, Sunim gave his opening remarks.
“I heard that Canada and the United States are having conflicts over tariffs, making life a bit tough. Are there any major problems for you?”
“There are many problems.”
“Korea is also having some conflicts with the United States over tariffs these days, though it’s not openly apparent. On the surface, it seems we got through it by acting somewhat submissively during the Korea-US summit, but substantively, the issues remain unresolved and conflict factors persist. Anyway, the world is quite turbulent right now. When I went to the UK, it took three hours from the airport to the lecture venue due to a subway strike. When I went to France, the prime minister faced a vote of no confidence and demonstrations were breaking out everywhere, causing chaos. When I went to Istanbul, the Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of the opposition party, leading to demonstrations, and although we held the lecture, very few people came due to the impact. We had scheduled a lecture in Jakarta, but the demonstrations were so severe that assemblies were banned, so we ultimately had to cancel the lecture. Thus, many parts of the world are experiencing great turmoil right now. Even amid such chaos, we must live our daily lives, and we must live those daily lives without suffering.”
Anyone could then raise their hand and ask Sunim questions. For two hours at a faster pace than usual, 15 people had conversations with Sunim. One of them was suffering from repeated conflicts and fights due to his wife’s way of speaking and asked about methods to control anger.
I Get Furious and We Fight Repeatedly Because of My Wife’s Way of Speaking
Actually, doing what your wife wants – that is, doing what the other person wants – is the easiest method. Saying ‘Oh, okay, let’s set it to 27 degrees’ is the easiest way. Then what’s the most difficult method? Setting it to 23 degrees as I want is the most difficult. Making the other person conform to me is the most difficult thing. But we all choose the most difficult path. What do you need to take the most difficult path? You need power. Whether it’s money or authority, you need coercive power to force the other person to change. You might be able to control the world with coercive force, but it doesn’t work well between spouses. Conflicts arise because we always choose the most difficult path instead of the easiest path of changing ourselves.
Then what’s the middle path? It’s compromising at 25 degrees. I give in a little, and the other person gives in a little. But that also requires the other person’s agreement. When compromise doesn’t work, it costs a little money. You use separate rooms. You each set your air conditioners to 27 and 23 degrees in your own rooms and live separately, meeting only occasionally when necessary. You don’t necessarily have to compromise.
You’re having problems because you’re trying to have your way without changing yourself. Just say ‘Okay, I’ll do as you say’ when your wife suggests something. When your wife calls and says ‘Why didn’t you do the dishes?’ just apologize. When she says ‘Make sure to do it properly next time when you go out,’ just say okay. Of course, if you’re busy next time, you might just leave. If your wife calls again saying ‘Why didn’t you do the dishes when you said you would?’ just say ‘Sorry, I forgot’ humorously. Then there’s nothing to fight about. When your wife says ‘So what!’ just say ‘Well, I don’t know either.’ To me, you seem a bit petty. When living married life, various things happen, and you should be able to laugh off things like this.
When you get older and your hair turns gray, it’s wise to just listen to your wife about most things. Especially if you have two or more children, it’s better to just listen to your wife. People who have been married for a long time all say this. Say ‘Honey, I’ll do as you say.’ When your wife says something else, say ‘Let’s try that.’ Of course, if you want to do something your way, just do it. A husband isn’t his wife’s slave, so you can’t do everything your wife wants. Then when your wife raises an issue again, say ‘Sorry, I forgot’ and laugh it off. Even I, who has never been married, know to handle things lightly like this. Why did you get married without knowing even this? How can you have a married life without knowing this?”
“I didn’t know it would be like this before marriage.”
“Even if you didn’t know before marriage, after living married life until now, you should be able to take such things lightly and move on. Those things aren’t big problems. However, marital fights have a big impact on children, so you must be careful in front of them. From what you’re saying, it seems everything else is fine except for arguing with your wife. If everything were bad, it would be difficult to live together. So just laugh off things like that. From today, have the perspective of ‘You are the king,’ ‘Everything you say is right.'”
“But when anger rises, I can’t control it.”
“You shouldn’t create situations where anger will rise. You can’t ask ‘How can I control my anger?’ or ‘How can I manage my anger?’ when anger has already risen. That’s like lighting a fire under a pot and asking ‘The water is boiling, how can I cool it down?’ If you pour a bucket of cold water, it seems okay for a moment. But it will boil again soon. In such cases, you need to completely remove the fire under the pot. Completely removing the fire means unconditionally saying ‘You’re right. I’ll do that.’ If you do this, you won’t get angry.”
“I understand it in my head, but…”
“Don’t worry about what’s right or wrong. Just start doing it from today. Don’t even say things like ‘I understand, but…’ The Buddha’s teaching is that there is no right or wrong. It’s about making your own choice. You’ve lived with your wife for a long time, so you know her well. If you’ve concluded that ‘My wife is great in every other way, but her temper is hard to change,’ then just decide, ‘I’ll adjust to her.’ Or do you really hate the idea of adjusting to your wife?”
“I’ll give it a try.”
“It’s hard to say ‘yes,’ isn’t it? It’s really difficult. But if you keep saying ‘yes,’ nothing becomes easier than this. When your wife says something, don’t give a long response. Just say lightly, ‘Yes, I’m sorry.’ When your wife says, ‘Do this,’ just say ‘Yes.’ If you have something else to do, just go out. Then your wife will say, ‘Why didn’t you do it?’ Then you can say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.’ Try to live with a bit of humor like this. If a couple lives together rigidly, nitpicking every single word, they’ll be fighting and making noise every day, making life unbearable.”
“Thank you. I understand.”
Questions continued one after another.
What mindset should I have when facing difficulties in daily life?
I finished high school in Korea and attended university and graduate school in North America. As someone who has decided to live abroad long-term, is my interest in Korea affection or meddling?
I came to Canada on a working holiday and am working here, but being older, I feel very anxious.
I want to lead light conversations, but I’m not good at it.
I’m not sure if it’s right to have children and make them live in this difficult world, or if not having children would be better for them.
My sibling has hearing difficulties and faces many limitations in life. How should they live?
When meeting people, is it better to know their personality types like MBTI first, or to slowly figure out their tendencies?
Between my 3-year-old who asks to be thrown onto the bed and my husband who throws the child, who should I tell to stop?
Should I just endure suffering or how should I overcome it?
I want to go on a pilgrimage to India’s sacred sites, but it seems too difficult to go from Canada.
I want to go to Korea and become a police officer, but with the low salary, I worry my children might resent me later if I can’t provide enough support.
I’ve lived without confidence in everything, but recently I found something I want to do. I keep conflicting about whether I can do it or not.
When my wife and I exchange hurtful words, it escalates into big fights that aren’t good for our child, and I continue to feel angry afterward. I know this intellectually but can’t improve.
Perhaps because of the hard immigrant life, I respond negatively when my husband shares his opinions. I worry I’m crushing his spirit too much.
After answering all the questions, Sunim offered words of encouragement to the Korean expatriates.
“Living far from your homeland is not easy. Even when you say ‘life is difficult,’ I think you’re fortunate to be living as well as you are. I don’t think I could do it. Thank you all for living well.”
The Path to Living Happily Even Away from Home
“Since you’ve decided to live here, it would be good to live happily. Some of you came because your parents decided to immigrate, some came on your own, and some followed others. But if you’ve decided to live here, regardless of who made the choice, stop blaming others, accept it as your life, and live actively. If you feel it’s not right while living here, we all have an escape route back to Korea. If I get tired of being a monk, I can grow my hair and leave the temple. So I hope you’ll look at your given conditions positively and live lightly. Don’t carry life’s burdens too heavily; approach life with a lighter heart. I hope you all live happily without suffering.”
The lecture ended with loud applause. A book signing session immediately followed. Most attendees formed a long line to get their books signed. While receiving their signatures, most expressed their gratitude to Sunim.
Next, Sunim took a commemorative photo with the volunteers who prepared the lecture. He presented a signed book to Kang Mi-jung, who was in charge of organizing the lecture.
“Thank you all for your hard work.”
After shaking hands with the volunteers and expressing his gratitude, Sunim moved to his accommodation. The volunteers had a mindful sharing session with Dharma Teachers Myodeok and Beophae. The volunteers shared how volunteering made them feel even happier.
“After graduating from Happiness School, there were no in-person activities. I’m so grateful to have met many people as a volunteer at Sunim’s lecture.”
“It was wonderful to volunteer again with people I met last year. I’ll volunteer again next year.”
“I had almost no interaction with other Koreans, but thanks to Jungto Society, I feel like I’ve come out into the world.”
Sunim arrived at the accommodation at 8 PM and had a late dinner. After communicating with Korea and handling work matters, he discussed tomorrow’s schedule before going to bed.
Tomorrow, he will travel to Washington D.C. and spend the entire day meeting with representatives from American think tanks, government, and Congress to discuss ways to improve North Korea-US relations and peace on the Korean Peninsula.
