June 12, 2025 – Departing from the US, Traveling to Korea
Hello. Today, Sunim spent the entire day traveling by airplane.
After departing from San Francisco Airport at 11:30 PM last night, Sunim spent the night sitting in the airplane seat proofreading manuscripts and catching some sleep.
As morning arrived, the darkness lifted and a vast sea of clouds spread across the ocean.
The sun set once again. After 13 hours of flight, the plane is scheduled to arrive at Incheon Airport at 4:30 AM tomorrow, Korean time.
Due to the time difference between the US and Korea, an entire day passed while on the airplane. Sunim spent the whole day of June 12th on the plane. It could be described as a “lost day” in terms of perception.
Since there was no Dharma talk today, I would like to share a conversation between a questioner and Sunim from the Dharma Q&A held at Jangsu Jukrimjeongsa three days ago.
My Wife Is Suffering from Hallucinations. What Can I Do as Her Husband?
“The best approach would be to have her admitted to a hospital for treatment. However, since her current condition involves hallucinations, it’s not a situation where forced hospitalization is possible. Hospitalization requires her consent. Forcing hospitalization simply because you’re her husband could be considered a human rights violation. Without voluntary consent, forced hospitalization can lead to dangerous consequences, which is why the law severely restricts involuntary admission.
In reality, when the best option isn’t available, we must choose the second best, and if that’s not possible, we must choose the lesser evil. In this situation, the best option would be for your wife to go to the hospital and receive treatment, but if that’s not realistically possible, the second option is to ‘just let it be.’ Not because her condition is fine, but because there’s no other way. There are specific legal criteria for involuntary hospitalization: damaging property, causing injury to others, or engaging in clearly abnormal behavior that anyone would recognize. For example, defecating in public or removing clothes in public would qualify. However, your wife, despite having hallucinations, doesn’t seem to have reached that level yet.
When a spouse or child has a mental illness, physical violence sometimes occurs in urgent situations. However, under current law, all such acts are considered assault. Thirty years ago, when I visited a psychiatric hospital, I was deeply shocked to see a guardian beating a patient almost to death. When I asked why, they said the patient wouldn’t listen otherwise. But nowadays, such control is clearly considered a human rights violation. Even restraining patients is not permitted without proper medical justification and legal procedures.
That’s why I’m telling you to ‘just let it be.’ If you keep worrying and suffering over this situation, you’ll only make yourself miserable. If she leaves in the middle of the night, just let her go. Later, check if she’s at the studio – if she is, that’s fortunate. If she comes back after wandering the streets, accept that too and consider it fortunate. Then, if she voluntarily agrees to go to the hospital, or if she exhibits clearly abnormal behavior that anyone would recognize, you can talk to a doctor about hospitalization. Of course, if the situation doesn’t meet the legal criteria for involuntary admission, hospitalization won’t be possible. The best approach would be to have her forcibly admitted for treatment, but in reality, it’s not easy.”
“I’m really struggling. Please tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
“The answer is to ‘just let it be.’ Not being able to let go is your own practice issue; it has nothing to do with your wife. ‘Letting it be’ is actually easier than being told to ‘do something.’ The cause of your suffering is your attachment to thinking you must do something and trying to handle things your way. You shouldn’t shift that responsibility to your wife. You might doubt yourself, wondering if you’re being irresponsible by just letting things be on your own judgment, but it’s simple when I tell you ‘there’s nothing else to do but let it be.’ Even if I were to say ‘Force her into hospitalization now!’ could you actually do it?”
“There would be a big commotion.”
“If hospitalization is possible, try it. However, you must consult thoroughly with a psychiatrist beforehand to ensure that when you bring your wife to the hospital, immediate admission is possible and everything is prepared. If you just take her there and she refuses, hospitalization becomes impossible, and forcing it would be illegal under current law. While we may sometimes break minor laws in our daily lives, I cannot tell you that ‘it’s okay to break the law.’ That’s why I’m saying ‘there’s nothing else to do but let it be.'”
“Thank you. I understand.”
Tomorrow, after arriving at Incheon Airport at 4:30 AM, Sunim will travel to the Jungto Social and Cultural Center. In the morning, he will have a medical appointment. At lunch, he will dine with a guest visiting The Peace Foundation. In the afternoon, he will meet with foreign policy and security experts. In the evening, he will conduct the Friday Dharma Q&A online live broadcast.
