Interviewer’s comment: I met Patty in 2016 when I just started going to Jungto Society’s Weekly Dharma Meetings in New York. There was a Jungto Dharma Center in Manhattan back then, before the organization transitioned to a fully online system and created their international division for non-Korean speakers. After Patty moved to San Diego several years ago, I had lost touch with her for quite some time, and this interview was a great opportunity to catch up with her. She told me that her life in San Diego has been much happier than it was in New York. I was glad to hear that she is well and happy in San Diego, and hearing her stories made me ask myself, “Should I also live somewhere other than New York?”
How My Journey with Jungto Society Began
One day in 2012, while I lived in Seoul, South Korea, my mother mentioned to me that Venerable Pomnyun Sunim would make an appearance on a popular TV show, Healing Camp, Aren’t You Happy. As I watched the episode, the beautiful backdrop of the mountain scenery where the interview took place caught my eyes. His interview was at Jungto Retreat Center in the Baekhwa Mountains in Mungyeong, about 170 km Southeast from Seoul. It led me to sign up for Jungto Society’s Awakening Retreat program right away, and I ended up loving it so much that I offered to volunteer in the kitchen for another cohort of the program. Later, I got a job in Bangkok, Thailand, which made it difficult to stay engaged in Jungto Society activities. I came to halt my mindfulness practices in daily life as well, until my work transferred me to New York in 2014, which is when I resumed my mindfulness journey as well. I started Jungto Dharma School in 2015, followed by Sutra Course, Meditation Retreat, and volunteer work at the Awakening Retreat. After I moved to San Diego, I became a volunteer at my local Jungto Society’s group and participated in the Sharing Retreat, as well.
Life in New York
I was fortunate to have a pretty stable job at a prestigious organization in New York with good benefits, especially in a competitive market. But once I began working, it became so stressful that I fell into a depression and wanted to quit. Weekly Jungto dharma meetings and group sharing sessions gave me some relief, but it wasn’t quite enough. I had to begin taking medication and seeing a therapist regularly to keep it from getting worse.
Some people would consider my job their dream, but it gave me stress and pain. I had had a secret interest in traditional East Asian Medicine, but I hadn’t dared to act on it. I was also worried about all the potential conflicts with my mother, who would likely not support the decision to quit my job after having tried so hard to get it.
In 2012, at one of Jungto Society’s programs, I shared that thinking about the future makes me afraid like being lost in the dark. After hearing my words, Yusoo Sunim said that we can’t even predict what’s going to happen the next moment. It took me a long time to realize that letting go of my desire to always stand on solid ground and opening up my mind to the here and now is what builds a better future.
Less Fear, More Freedom
While I continued to suffer from the ebbs and flows of depression caused by my unwillingness to accept being anything other than the idealized version of myself, the COVID-19 pandemic hit the world and everything seemed to freeze in place. The sudden change in my daily routine allowed the spark of Yusoo Sunim’s teaching to come to life and encouraged me to commit to changing my career. I thought to myself, “Let’s stop with the excuses and do what I really want to do, without speculating about the future that I cannot predict.” Surprisingly, once I made up my mind, my mind was cleared of any doubt about the future.
Becoming a True Adult
When I decided to be the owner of my own life, I came to view the 12 years I spent at my job with gratitude rather than regret. And from this gratitude, I earned the capacity to stand without blaming myself. I realized I had worked at the job for the past 12 years not because I was forced to, but because I wanted to. This realization allowed me to quit my job and pursue the dream of working in East Asian Medicine without any worries.
As I began to put myself forward without thinking about whether my mother would support my decision or not, I became much freer. I became convinced that she would eventually turn around because I would be much happier, and that’s also what she really wishes for in the end. In this way, after turning 40, I finally began to feel like I became a real adult.
My mother ended up needing a lot of time to accept my career change, but today, she is proud of me for who I am. I would also like to thank my husband who supported my decision to spend four years for an academic degree with no hesitation.
Looking back, although it had felt like I was making a huge decision, it doesn’t seem that dramatic now. I want to be happy and want to help others be happy living the one life I have.
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Patty and I reconnected for this interview in March 2025. Patty was in the middle of studying for her license exam after finishing her Master’s in December 2024. She told me that acupuncture has helped with her depression a lot, and it confirmed her passion in seeking a holistic balance of body and mind through acupuncture and herbal medicine. She seemed sure of herself and well grounded in every positive way when she told me that she finally feels like an adult. It made me realize what it means to be the driver of one’s own life. It was not the move to San Diego that made her happy–it was the growth within her.
