Should I Really Break Up with My Boyfriend Who Goes to Entertainment Venues?
March 9, 2026. Departure from Korea, Arrival in Sri Lanka
Hello. Today is the day of departure from Korea for flood relief activities in Sri Lanka.
After completing morning practice, Sunim left Seoul Jungto Center at 6 AM and headed to Incheon Airport.
After about an hour’s drive to Incheon Airport, Sunim completed departure procedures, took a brief rest in the lounge, and then headed to the boarding gate at the scheduled time.
The flight departed Incheon Airport at 8:55 AM and arrived at Shanghai Pudong Airport at 10 AM local time after approximately two hours of flight.
After completing transit procedures, Sunim waited in the lounge. There was a four-hour wait until the next flight. As he settled into his seat, Sunim said:
“I’m always busy, but when taking flights, there are times like this when I have extra time while waiting.”
While always maintaining a tight schedule, when traveling on budget airlines, there are often stopovers at intermediate points, creating spare time for Sunim while waiting for the next flight. While most people find it boring, Sunim used the waiting time to catch up on pending work.
After the boarding announcement, Sunim boarded the plane again. The flight departed Shanghai Pudong Airport at 1:55 PM and flew for about seven hours. Sunim rested during the flight.
The plane arrived at Colombo Bandaranaike Airport at 6:30 PM, 30 minutes earlier than scheduled.
After completing immigration procedures and exiting the airport, Kim Yoon-mi, who is responsible for JTS Sri Lanka operations, along with Venerable Dhammananda and Namal, warmly welcomed Sunim.
Venerable Dhammananda, who visited Korea’s Jungto Society through the INEB Study Tour program, is now actively supporting JTS Sri Lanka operations locally. Namal, who worked as a foreign worker in Korea and connected with JTS Multicultural Center, has been dedicating himself to JTS Sri Lanka activities to help disadvantaged neighbors in his homeland.
“How have you been?”
When Sunim greeted him, Namal replied in Korean:
“Yes, I’ve been well.”
After taking a commemorative photo together, they immediately got in the car and headed to the accommodation.
The journey from the airport to Dambulla, where the accommodation was located, took three hours by car. They arrived at the accommodation at 10:10 PM and unpacked. It had taken nearly 20 hours from leaving Seoul Jungto Center at 6 AM to reaching the accommodation in Sri Lanka.
From 10:30 PM, a meeting was held in the accommodation lobby with all JTS volunteers gathered to review the schedule for this Sri Lanka relief activity. As the meeting concluded, they set the departure time for the next day.
“Tomorrow, we’ll prepare nurungji (scorched rice tea) for breakfast at the accommodation at 5:30 AM and depart at 6 AM.”
Sunim finished the remaining work and went to bed after 1 AM.
Tomorrow morning, they will travel to Thelangkanda village to inspect the condition of schools in poor villages, and in the afternoon, they plan to distribute relief supplies to 1,000 households of impoverished residents.
Since there was no Dharma talk today, this post concludes with a dialogue between Sunim and a questioner from last Friday’s live Dharma Q&A session on the 6th.
Should I Really Break Up with My Boyfriend Who Goes to Entertainment Venues?
“If someone is good-looking, earns well, is healthy, and even kind, most people in the world would like that person. But when you date such a person, one condition is attached. While the other person is someone anyone in the world would like, I think ‘you should only like me.’ However, reality doesn’t work that way.
Many people are bound to be interested in someone who is good-looking, healthy, kind, and has a high position. From that person’s perspective, they may be dating one person, but many people like them. So they might think if there’s a problem with this person, they can meet that person, and if there’s a problem with that person, they can meet someone else. That’s how it is from their perspective.
On the other hand, if someone has average looks, doesn’t have much money, and has an ordinary personality, others are likely not to pay much attention to this person. Such a person can focus more on me. So since there are many similar people in the world, if I don’t like this person, I can break up and meet someone else.
This is the human world. If you want someone who is good-looking, kind, wealthy, and has a good job, since that person is someone others would also like, you become one of n people to them. So when you like such a person, you naturally become the subordinate party. It’s perhaps natural that when you keep nagging, the other person finds it annoying and wants to break up. I understand wanting them to look only at you. However, while some people might do that, most don’t.
When dating someone who interferes too much in their life, the other person becomes very tired. Especially nowadays, people have this tendency even more strongly. When your boyfriend says ‘let’s break up,’ you can just say ‘if you want to live your way, go ahead’ and let go. But why is it so difficult? Even I can understand why your boyfriend wants to break up. He’s tired because you interfere too much in his life.
But why do you like a man who goes to entertainment venues? Just say ‘goodbye.’ The relationship broke down because you pushed him too hard. If someone is too good-looking, has too much money, or is too nice, they won’t fit perfectly in your hands. If you want to hold on tight, you should meet someone who is a bit lacking, has a lower salary, or is less attractive, and make them look only at you. If you date someone that others would also like, such conflicts are likely to repeat. In such cases, you shouldn’t make too many demands. This isn’t a problem that can be solved by talking about what marriage is, what ethics are, or what morality is. This is simply how the principles of the human world and people’s thinking work.
Now you need to make a decision. Either say ‘I’m sorry, I restricted you too much, live the way you want, I won’t hold onto you with distrust anymore. I’m tired too’ and let go, or compromise at an appropriate level to restore the relationship – you need to decide now.
You might have some lingering feelings. But having lingering feelings means you don’t want to compromise while wanting the other person to change. You kept pushing them to change, and eventually they bounced away. That’s why you might be feeling regret.
It’s not difficult. After some time passes, you’ll meet someone else. Say ‘Yes, we had a good time together,’ then ‘Thank you, goodbye’ and let them go, or say ‘I pushed my demands too much, I’m sorry’ and apologize, then suggest improving the relationship. But if they still say no, there’s no other way. Right now, the other person wants to leave because your demands are too many, so you can either lower your demands and try to improve the relationship, or give up completely – choose one of the two.”
“Thank you. I understand well.”
