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How Can I Stop My Life from Falling Apart When I Meet Just Any Man Out of Anxiety?

November 9, 2025
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Nov 7, 2025 – Day 1 of Youth Festa, Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s Youth Talk Talk, Kim Chang-ok’s Empathy Talk Talk

Hello. Today marks the beginning of the ‘2025 Youth Festa,’ organized to inspire hope and courage in young people. Starting today, for three days at the Jungto Social and Cultural Center, various lectures and seminars for youth will be held throughout the venue, beginning with Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s lecture. There will be abundant attractions, activities, and food with experience booths, action booths, and food booths.



Immediately after returning from Bhutan, Sunim spent one night at Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center and departed early at 6:40 AM for Seoul.



After a four-hour drive, he arrived at the Seoul Jungto Social and Cultural Center at 10:40 AM. From early morning, many volunteers were preparing throughout the venue to welcome the youth.





After greeting the volunteers, Sunim headed to the Peace Foundation reception room. At 11 AM, he had a meeting with a North Korea expert who came to visit. They analyzed the reasons for the failed North Korea-US dialogue at the recent APEC Summit in Gyeongju and discussed how to create opportunities for future North Korea-US dialogue before concluding the meeting.



After a light meal of the ‘One Bite Vegetarian’ menu prepared by youth supporters in the basement dining hall, Sunim headed to the underground auditorium for the Youth Festa opening ceremony.





Singer Maya arrived at the backstage waiting room to perform for the Youth Festa celebration and exchanged warm greetings.



“Thank you for making time.”

“Not at all. I need to repay the kindness I’ve received from you, Sunim. These days, I read ‘A Day in the Life of Sunim’ every morning. I saw you returned from Bhutan yesterday.”

“These days, I’m working on building houses for poor people in Bhutan. I think I caught a cold after shivering in the cold while visiting remote villages.”

“I’ll sing a few songs energetically before I go.”



After exchanging greetings, they moved to the auditorium together.

At 1 PM, the Youth Festa executive committee chair and the young people who prepared and planned this event came up on stage and made the opening declaration for the Youth Festa.



“In the midst of intense days of studying, preparing for employment, and working, we hope this time will be like a gift to you all. Although the weather outside is cold, our dreams, passion for the future, and warm hearts are shining brightly. You’ve probably wondered how to live well, how to live happily. I hope everyone here can envision what a happy life looks like together with family, friends, colleagues, and people in this world. Feel free to share what you want to talk about, try various experiences, dance excitedly, and enjoy this time. Our movement toward the world, ‘Youth Festa,’ begins now.”

The Youth Festa began with loud applause.



As the first program, singer Maya opened the doors of Youth Festa wide with her powerful vocals. She energetically sang two songs: ‘Red Sunset’ and ‘Kwaejina Ching Ching Nane.’



When Maya came down from the stage and exchanged lyrics with the youth through call and response, the venue instantly filled with excitement. After singing passionately, Maya briefly introduced her connection with Jungto Society.

“In the past, I only went on stage when payment was deposited. I demanded money to use a professional. But after meeting Jungto Society, I come up on stage without hesitation even without payment. When you don’t receive money, there’s no pressure even if you make mistakes. Thank you for inviting me.”



As Maya left to great applause, the host briefly introduced the Youth Festa programs for the three days.



Various booth programs will be held from the 3rd basement floor to the 11th floor, and participants can receive goods by collecting stamps after participating in programs. After watching the opening video together, Sunim walked onto the stage.



The first program of the 2025 Youth Festa is Youth Talk Talk with Venerable Pomnyun Sunim. As the applause and cheers died down, Sunim began his lecture with a smile.



“Congratulations on the opening of Youth Festa. Singer Maya opened today’s first program with a charity performance. Please give her another big round of applause.”

We Can Be Sufficiently Happy Even Without Money

All performers participating in this Youth Festa are contributing their talents. Hundreds of volunteer staff are also participating as volunteers. This building was also provided free of charge. Because you usually live thinking too much about ‘money, money,’ we wanted to show you that during these three days, we can have an enjoyable and meaningful time without money. Except for minimal costs like basic facility preparation and food ingredients, we’ve made it so there are almost no expenses for running the event. People we’ve built relationships with have gathered to create this opportunity to show young people in their 20s and 30s that ‘you can enjoy a certain degree of happiness without being bound by money.’ All the lectures, performances, and seminars that will follow are being provided through talent donation.

What exactly can we call ‘living well’? What is ‘happiness’? I’d like to think about these questions with you once again. South Korea’s current income level is about $36,000. That’s more than a 300-fold increase compared to 60 years ago. Living conditions have improved to a level that can stand proud in any country, and thanks to K-pop and K-dramas, young people around the world dream of visiting Korea and living there. When I travel to various countries, young people express interest just hearing that I’m from Korea. Many have self-studied Korean and can say ‘annyeonghaseyo’ and ‘gamsahamnida.’ Just like when we were young, even without knowing English, we could say ‘good morning’ and ‘thank you.’



But what about us living in Korea? We feel that life is too difficult. Our birth rate is the lowest in the world, which means there is no hope for the future. Our suicide rate is the highest among OECD countries, which indicates how difficult life is right now. Of course, there are real problems – young people find it hard to get housing, employment is difficult, and even dating is challenging. However, from another perspective, there’s no country better to live in than Korea. Those who say ‘Korea is too difficult to live in’ would actually find it hard to live anywhere else in the world. While it’s true that Korea has many issues to solve, such as housing and education problems, we cannot conclude that this society is hell based on these alone. From the inside, it may seem like hell, but from the outside, you can see another side of Korea.

While efforts to improve social problems are absolutely necessary, happiness cannot be achieved through these alone. Self-reflection and awakening must accompany these efforts. That’s why the basic direction of this Youth Festival is ‘hope.’ While it’s necessary to comfort you through songs and words about your lost hope and life’s difficulties, comfort alone won’t solve the problems. A process of self-reflection is needed. I want to play a role in helping with that awakening. Not just saying ‘It’s tough, isn’t it? You’re doing well,’ but also saying ‘Take a look at yourself.’

My generation had poor conditions during elementary, middle, and high school. We lacked food and clothing, not to mention housing. Despite this, we had hope. After graduating from school, getting a job, renting even a small room, moving to a deposit-based rental, buying a house, getting married, raising children, and sending them to college – though difficult, we could see the possibility of gradual improvement. But today’s young generation, while they may live reasonably well now, feels that when they think about the future, they can’t see the possibility of ‘Can I ever buy a house, get married, and raise children no matter how hard I try?’ This is the greatest despair. That’s why we must address the question together: ‘How can we rebuild hope?’ This is the core of this Youth Festival, and I intend to play a role in urging you toward awakening.”



Anyone could then raise their hand and share their concerns with Sunim. For one hour, four young people shared their worries and had conversations with Sunim. One of them quietly opened up about how painful it was to repeatedly form and break relationships due to loneliness.



How Can I Stop My Life from Falling Apart When I Meet Just Any Man Out of Anxiety?

“Sunim, I feel so lonely. When I’m alone, I get so anxious that I hastily meet any worthless man, things quickly go wrong, then I fall apart, and because I’m anxious again, I meet someone else, fall apart again, and keep repeating this cycle. Can I break free from this foolish cycle?”





“You currently have the wrong perspective that ‘meeting someone is good, and breaking up is bad.’ If a meeting is precious, then the parting is equally precious. You have a style of meeting easily and parting easily, don’t you? Then just live your life that way. Meeting easily and parting easily is also one way of living life. The problem is thinking that meeting is good while parting is bad. ‘I stay with one person for life,’ ‘I change partners once a year,’ ‘I change once a month’ – these are all just different ways of living life, not matters of good or bad.

In romantic relationships, forcing or using violence is obviously problematic, but if that’s not the case, the act of meeting and parting itself is not a problem at all. It’s the same with jobs. There are day laborers who work here today and there tomorrow, people who change jobs monthly, and people who stay at one workplace for a long time. I don’t understand why people think staying at one job for a long time is good and changing frequently is bad. Neither is better – they’re just different. You can choose based on your temperament, conditions, wages, and satisfaction level. If you’re someone who gets bored quickly at one workplace, moving around periodically might actually be more suitable. Ultimately, what matters is not ‘which is good’ but ‘which method suits me.’



The core issue is that you have predetermined which encounters are ‘good’ and which are ‘bad,’ and you keep blaming yourself for engaging in what you consider ‘bad’ behavior. Meeting one person today and another tomorrow is not inherently wrong. Unless your actions harm others—such as sexual harassment, sexual assault, or fraud—there is no moral issue with the encounters themselves. Good and bad are relative concepts. If you’re lonely, meet someone; if you don’t like them, part ways. What matters is not using these encounters to harm others.

Furthermore, there are no ‘trashy men’ in this world. There are just different men. Having less money doesn’t make someone trashy, nor does meeting once and parting ways. If meeting new people every day is tiresome, meet someone weekly. If a week isn’t enough, try a month. If that’s still difficult, try two weeks. You can decide for yourself how to live. Evaluating someone as ‘trashy’ reflects a flawed perspective. How much better do you think you are to demean others like that? That’s an insult to their dignity. Being older is just being older, lacking experience is just lacking experience—these aren’t matters of good or bad.



Ethics and morality are not based on the frequency or duration of encounters. If there are harmful actions toward the other person within that relationship, that’s the problem, and that’s the crime. Whether you meet for a day, a month, or a year, there’s nothing inherently good or bad about it. You can choose according to your own characteristics. If you meet someone because you’re lonely but end up unsatisfied and regretful, and this happens two or three times, it’s like ordering jjajangmyeon because you crave it, only to regret it afterward. You think, ‘Why did I order it again?’ but a few days later, you crave it again and regret it once more. When this pattern repeats, human wisdom means knowing how to choose not to eat even when you want to. You might say, ‘How can I not eat when I want to?’ but once you realize the regret is greater after eating, you can choose not to. In other words, you need to find a way to be comfortable without eating even when you want to. If trying to solve loneliness through meetings always leaves you with regret, you need to research other methods. When you’re lonely, try meditation, attend a retreat, or practice overcoming it in different ways. Loneliness is just a momentary urge, like wanting to smoke a cigarette or the impulse that arises when craving drugs. If you can just get through that one moment, you’ll be fine. Once you have that experience, you can overcome loneliness without meeting anyone next time.

So it’s okay to meet people. However, if you always regret it afterward, then when the urge to meet someone comes, try a different alternative. For example, when you miss having a man around, go to the Dharma hall and do 108 prostrations or meditate for a few minutes. Then you’ll find a path where you think, ‘Oh, I don’t necessarily need to meet someone to be okay.'”

“Thank you.”



Questions continued one after another. After finishing the dialogue, Sunim gave closing remarks.



“The Youth Festa has begun today. I hope you enjoy yourselves to the fullest over the next three days.”

Sunim went down from the stage and took a commemorative photo with the young participants.

“Our movement toward the world!”



Upon exiting the underground auditorium, a JTS photo exhibition was being held in the lobby. Visitors could view photographs documenting Sunim’s 32-year history of combating hunger, disease, and illiteracy throughout Southeast Asia, including India, the Philippines, Myanmar, Cambodia, Syria, and Pakistan.



Meanwhile, approximately 900 young people visited the Youth Festa today, experiencing various programs and seminars.













Sunim then moved to The Peace Foundation reception room for interviews with Yonhap News and Herald News. For an hour and a half, the reporters asked various questions about the background of the Youth Festa, perspectives on youth issues, the Bhutan project, and the meaning of Dharma Q&A. Sunim continued with detailed explanations.



“Seven years after the Youth Concert, you’ve created another platform for young people under the name ‘Youth Festa.’ Is there a possibility that the Youth Festa will continue as an annual event?”

“We’ll see how this one goes, and if the evaluation is positive, next time we’re thinking of borrowing a place like Dongguk University to make it even bigger. I recently met with the president of Dongguk University, and he said they could lend us the campus during vacation periods. Then the scale could be much larger.”

“What does ‘positive evaluation’ mean?”

“If young people respond with ‘It was good,’ ‘It was helpful,’ ‘I hope there’s more,’ ‘Please hold it in other regions too,’ then we can consider the evaluation positive. But if the evaluation is ‘There wasn’t much to see for three days, and the food was just so-so,’ then we’ll have to fold it.” (laughter)



After discussing various topics including the planning intent of the Youth Festa, advice for young people, problems in Korean social structure, and convictions about international relief activities, the interview concluded.



At 5 PM, Minister of Oceans and Fisheries Jeon Jae-soo visited and had tea with Sunim before giving a lecture to the young people.



“Sunim, I heard you came from Bhutan yesterday? You’re even busier than I am.”

“No, not at all. I postponed my trip to Bhutan and worked until the 30th trying to facilitate North Korea-US dialogue at the Gyeongju APEC Summit, but it ultimately didn’t happen. So I went to Bhutan on the 31st and returned to Korea yesterday morning.”

“I thought the North Korea-US dialogue would happen this time. That’s unfortunate.”



After 30 minutes of tea and conversation, they took a commemorative photo and moved to the lecture hall together. About 100 young people gathered in the 9th-floor auditorium to hear Minister Jeon’s lecture.



After watching an introductory video about the minister, he began his lecture with great applause. The minister shared many stories on the theme of “The Arctic Route Created with Youth, A Path to New Growth.”



“The Arctic route is the last remaining sea route on Earth, and due to the paradoxical situation of the climate crisis, year-round navigation is becoming possible for the first time. This new route goes beyond simply reducing shipping time compared to the Suez Canal and cutting logistics costs – it will bring about a reorganization of the entire Eurasian logistics order across container, bulk, and liquid cargo. A new industrial ecosystem is opening up together: eco-friendly vessels that can withstand the Arctic’s extreme environment, special ships with ice-resistant and ice-breaking capabilities, polar containers, polar port infrastructure, AI and autonomous navigation technology, and training for polar mariners. In this process, the southeastern region centered on Busan holds the most geographically advantageous position. Busan Port already has the world’s second-largest transshipment volume and world’s fourth-ranked network competitiveness connected to 280 ports worldwide. When connected to nearby Ulsan, Yeosu, Gwangyang, and Pohang, the entire area becomes an ‘Arctic Route Economic Zone.’ That’s why we’re relocating the Ministry of Oceans and Fisheries to Busan and establishing the Maritime Court and Southeast Investment Corporation together to create synergy by bundling the administrative, judicial, financial, and industrial ecosystem in one place. The Arctic route is not just a shipping lane but a path to new growth where Korea’s entire manufacturing, shipping, port, and shipbuilding industries can leap forward again.”



The Q&A session that followed mainly addressed young people’s practical concerns and industry prospects. Through various questions about whether Arctic route development would worsen the environment in the climate crisis era, Korea’s strategy amid fierce Arctic route competition, and how to respond to shipbuilding workforce shortages and competition with China and Japan, participants explored Korea’s new growth engines.



After taking a commemorative photo with the young people, Sunim headed back to the reception room.





Next, Kim Chang-ok, the following speaker, arrived and had a brief tea conversation. Kim Chang-ok talked about why he readily accepted the lecture invitation.



“Actually, I’m a Christian and know nothing about Jungto Society. I gained so much wisdom watching Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s Dharma Q&A on YouTube that I wanted to repay that kindness. I just came thinking I was going to greet Sunim.”

Sunim briefly explained the purpose and core concept of the Youth Festa event.



“The Youth Festa has three concepts. First, people like you, Kim Je-dong, and Jo In-sung play the role of encouraging and comforting young people. Second, I try to be a bit more direct to help young people reflect on themselves and awaken. And third, we’ve included a message that we should create hope together. One more thing I want to emphasize is that we’re using the venue for free and not charging any participation fees. I wanted to show that ‘even without constantly talking about money, we can create events like this’ by running everything for free without asking young people for money. I wanted to prove that when people with good hearts come together, good events are possible even without funding.”

“That’s a really wonderful purpose.”

As they talked, it was time to begin the lecture.



Sunim moved to the underground auditorium together to guide Kim Chang-ok, then headed to the Jungto Center broadcasting room for the Friday Dharma Q&A live broadcast.

“I have a broadcast, so I’ll come back to listen to the lecture after finishing.”



At 7:30 PM, the “Empathy Talk Talk” lecture began with an introductory video about Kim Chang-ok. Kim Chang-ok answered various questions, gently touching the hearts of young people with his cheerful language and deep insights.



Meanwhile, Sunim began the Friday Dharma Q&A live broadcast from the Jungto Center broadcasting room. With about 4,100 people connected to the live stream, Sunim received questions from four people and had conversations for an hour.



After finishing the live broadcast, Sunim returned to the underground auditorium of the Jungto Social and Cultural Center where the Youth Festa was being held. He sat in the audience and listened to Kim Chang-ok’s lecture together with everyone.





As Kim Chang-ok concluded his lecture, he expressed gratitude to Venerable Pomnyun Sunim and the Jungto Society youth volunteers who planned and prepared the Youth Festa.



“Why do you think I came here? Because you resemble me in my 20s and 30s. Back then, I was so lonely and anxious that I didn’t even have anyone to ask these questions to. So when someone asks me these days if I want to travel, I say I want to time travel. I want to meet myself from that time. I want to give him some money, buy him a meal, and ask ‘How are things these days?’ I think meeting you now is like meeting myself from that time.



What I Want to Say to Lonely and Anxious Young People Right Now

Why would Venerable Pomnyun Sunim hold such an event? It’s not to increase the number of Jungto Society members. I believe it’s because he feels that ‘something must be done’ for the young people of this era who are taking their own lives, who lack the strength to leave their homes, and who are increasingly living in fear and anxiety. In this capitalist society where money reigns like a god, I think he wants to show that ‘there exists a human world that operates without money.’ I felt these two things were Sunim’s sincere intentions. I believe this is a sentiment that transcends religion, something beyond it. I hope that Sunim’s desire to be with young people today, and his message that ‘money is absolutely not a god; it’s merely a tool we need,’ will leave at least a small seed in your hearts.

Today’s gathering is truly wonderful and something to be grateful for. This gathering doesn’t belong to capitalist logic, and although hosted by Jungto Society, it’s not a religious event. It’s simply a place where one person’s heart reaches another’s. I’d like to give a round of applause to Venerable Pomnyun Sunim for planning this gathering and leading it to completion despite various difficulties, and to the many young Jungto Society volunteers who prepared everything behind the scenes.”



After concluding the lecture with loud applause, Sunim, Kim Chang-ok, and all participants took a commemorative photo to mark the day.



As Kim Chang-ok left the lecture hall, he took a selfie with Sunim.

“Sunim, thank you for inviting me.”



They agreed to create such a gathering again if the Youth Festa is held next year, and then said their farewells. The supporter volunteers worked late into the night cleaning up the venue and preparing for the second day of the event.



Tomorrow is the second day of the Youth Festa. In the morning, there will be a lecture by Minister of Unification Jeong Dong-young, followed by afternoon lectures by National Assembly member Kim Ye-ji, Kim Je-dong, and Seoul Superintendent of Education Jeong Geun-sik. In the evening, Venerable Pomnyun Sunim will give a Youth Talk lecture on the theme of ‘peace.’

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