I’ve Worked Hard All My Life, So Why Doesn’t Life Go According to My Plans?

Hello. Today is the day of the final lecture of Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s 2025 North American East Coast lecture tour, held in Atlanta, Georgia, the largest city in the southeastern United States.

After spending the night in Houston, Sunim woke up at 4 a.m., had a simple meal of porridge and scorched rice tea, and left the accommodation. He thanked Yang Haemi, who served as deputy coordinator for yesterday’s Houston lecture, for her hard work, and departed for the airport with Park Kyungwon, who served as the lecture coordinator.

After a 30-minute drive, they arrived at Houston airport at 5:25 a.m. After checking in luggage and passing through security, the flight departed Houston airport at 7 a.m. After a two-hour flight, they arrived at Atlanta airport at 10 a.m. local time.

Upon exiting the airport, Mr. and Mrs. Park Hayoung were waiting to greet them. After exchanging warm greetings, they headed straight to the lecture venue.

Today’s lecture is being held at ‘The Party,’ a banquet hall located in Duluth, Georgia. Previously, lectures in Atlanta were held at the Korean Community Center, but this time, unable to secure that venue, the lecture is being held at a banquet hall operated by the parents of a Jungto Society member.

They arrived at the lecture venue at 11:15 a.m. Kim Jongyoon, the lecture coordinator, and volunteers warmly welcomed Sunim.

After taking a tour of the lecture hall, Sunim headed to the waiting room. Shortly after, the owner of the banquet hall came to greet Sunim. Although the owner is Catholic, he expressed his gratitude to Sunim, saying that his son had experienced positive changes after listening to Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s Dharma talks. This is why he readily provided the space for the lecture. He also prepared lunch for Sunim and his party.

After lunch, at 12:30 p.m., Teresa from The Chestnut Family Foundation, which has been providing substantial support to JTS, came to meet with Sunim.

They exchanged updates, and Sunim provided detailed explanations about various JTS projects including those in Bhutan and India, and they had a conversation addressing questions. Her husband Ben also expressed his respect for Sunim’s activities and spoke about his deep trust in JTS’s work.

Sunim presented Ben and Teresa with signed copies of his books as a token of gratitude for their consistent support of JTS projects.

As they conversed, it was time to begin the lecture. At exactly 2 p.m., about 250 Korean residents filled the lecture hall. After an introductory video about Sunim was shown, Sunim walked onto the stage as the video ended.

The audience welcomed Sunim with loud applause. First, Sunim gave his opening remarks.

“Today is the last day of the North American lecture tour. I left Houston this morning and came to Atlanta. After this lecture ends, I’ll go directly to Washington D.C. to meet with U.S. government officials before returning to Korea. Due to this schedule, we had no choice but to set the lecture date for a weekend afternoon. During previous lecture tours, I stayed overnight in each city, but this time that wasn’t possible in Atlanta.” (laughter)

He then briefly explained the dialogue format of the Dharma Q&A and immediately began taking questions from the audience. He had conversations with five people who had submitted questions in advance, then took six more questions from the audience, continuing the dialogue for two hours. One person sought Sunim’s advice, expressing deep confusion about life not going according to plan despite studying hard, studying abroad, and working diligently.

I’ve Worked Hard All My Life, So Why Doesn’t Life Go According to My Plans?
“Since life hasn’t gone as predicted, I’m not sure if I’m asking this question out of anxiety or dissatisfaction. Let me tell you about the choices I’ve made. I didn’t do well in school during my teenage years. I wandered a lot mentally in an unstable family situation where red notices were posted on our house. In my twenties, thanks to my older sister, I gained emotional stability and decided to study again while in the military. Eventually, I got into a top-tier university. At that time, I thought everything would be solved once I entered university. But when I actually got there, I found that even graduates weren’t finding jobs easily. Competition for grades among students was fierce, and with relative grading, it was always stressful. Throughout my university years, I lived obsessed with grades. Somehow I graduated and worked briefly, but I quickly became dissatisfied. I thought, ‘I don’t want to live like this, I need to find a better path.’ Around that time, my sister’s boyfriend was majoring in computer science and recommended that field to me. I decided to study abroad and completely changed my major to computer science. However, by the time I was about to graduate, the computer-related job market had slumped, making it difficult to even find internships. I thought I should solve my visa status first, so I joined a Korean company. But when President Trump drastically changed visa policies, all the visa plans and efforts I had prepared at the Korean company became meaningless. I’ve worked hard wanting to live a stable and comfortable life, but it feels like all those efforts have gone astray, and I feel lost again. Maybe I was foolish. I’m wondering what choices I should make so my life won’t be unsatisfactory.”

“You’ve made good choices so far despite difficult circumstances. Just continue as you have been.”

“Really?”

“You’ve done well so far. That’s why I’m telling you to continue doing the same.”

“That’s a clear answer, but I can’t quite accept it. I guess it’s because I’m dissatisfied with the choices I’ve made.”

“What was wrong with the choices you made? Do you think coming to study abroad was wrong? Since you came to study in America, you got to see America and experience American life.”

“Yes, if I think positively about it. I try to think positively and be grateful in my mind too.”

“President Trump seems to be doing whatever he wants these days, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“During the election, President Trump said that if he became president, he could end the Ukraine war in one day. But now we see that far from ending in one day, the war hasn’t ended even after half a year. Even President Trump can’t have everything his way in this world, so how can you expect to have everything your way? Are you more powerful than President Trump?”

“No. I’m nobody. I just want to live comfortably.”

“You joined a Korean company to solve your visa issue, but now U.S. visa policies have become stricter. Then you need to either prepare for a visa again according to the changed policies or find another way. The policy change isn’t wrong. Your choice to join a Korean company wasn’t wrong either. An unexpected accident just happened in the middle. Let’s say I’m driving to my hometown during Chuseok and get into a traffic accident. The accident happened unexpectedly, but my choice to go to my hometown wasn’t wrong. However, when such unexpected things happen, we regret thinking, ‘If I hadn’t thought of going to my hometown, the traffic accident wouldn’t have happened.’ We think the choice itself was wrong. But that’s not true. There’s nothing wrong with the choice. An accident just happened along the way. In life, accidents always happen. Today, my flight here was delayed by an hour. It wasn’t a problem because I left with plenty of time to arrive before the lecture, but if time had been tight, I would have had to rush the car and everything would have been very hurried. Accidents like this always happen.”

“Then how should I manage my mind?”

“What if you were seriously injured in a traffic accident and had to go to the hospital?”

“That could happen.”

“Then would you prefer to have a traffic accident or to have the accident of visa regulations changing?”

“The accident of visa regulations changing is better.”

“Every day, countless people experience major incidents like traffic accidents and still live on, so what’s the big deal about visa regulations changing a bit? And you originally lived in Korea. What’s so difficult about someone who lived in Korea and came to America going back to live in Korea?”

“I invested a lot in studying abroad.”

“You completed your master’s degree here, studied computer science in addition to your major, and gained experience working at a Korean company in America. With such experience, whether you start your own business or get a job at a company in Korea, it will work positively for you. Why do you think it’s a waste?”

“I guess I’m too greedy.”

“The problem isn’t the choice itself. When you make a choice, there will inevitably be consequences. But you’re not accepting the consequences of your choices. For example, if you marry someone with a lot of money, that person will act according to their wealth. If you marry someone good-looking, they’ll also act according to their looks. This is how life works. However, we often don’t fully consider the consequences at the moment of choice. When choosing someone wealthy, we simply think, ‘They’ll just love me.’ But a wealthy man is popular even if he’s married, with many women around him. On the other hand, if a man has no money, average looks, and no job, other women won’t even look at him. Then you can have him all to yourself. If you choose someone with money, good looks, and popularity, such a person is not only hard to meet but may continue to have women around them even after you meet. This could lead to upsetting situations.

When making choices like this, you need to predict the outcome and take responsibility for it. If your prediction is wrong, you must also take responsibility for that mistake. If you bought stocks thinking they would rise but they fell, it’s not the company’s fault or the fault of the person who recommended the stocks. It’s your responsibility, so you must bear the loss. Likewise, it’s important to take responsibility for your own choices. What matters is not which choice you make. The reason you hesitate when making choices is because you keep trying to be clever to avoid taking responsibility for the results. Like the greedy brother in the folk tale holding rice cakes in both hands, wondering which one is better – that’s why you worry. When you choose one, you must give up the other. When choosing to go to America, there’s a risk factor called a visa. But then President Trump was elected, and as a result, policies changed making it harder to get visas – an unexpected situation arose. In this situation, you can choose your perspective and position. If you want to stay in America and solve the visa problem, you should choose a company that helps with visas even if they pay less. Or you could return to Korea for a while and try again when visa policies become more relaxed. Like this, in a changed environment, the choice is yours to make.”

“Then how far into the future should I try to predict? The pace of change is so fast I can’t keep up.”

“You don’t need to predict. Just make a choice and take responsibility for the result. Every choice has consequences. And from those results, learning occurs. ‘If I make this choice, this is the result.’ ‘If I make that choice, that’s the result.’ By making many choices and accepting their results, you can accumulate experience rather than wounds. Then when you need to make choices in the future, you’ll have know-how. For example, if you date various people and experience conflicts, you’ll learn what problems you have. Through the process of forming relationships, you can gauge your own state. ‘I realize I focus too much on appearance when looking at people.’ Or ‘When I approach people too aggressively, they run away, but when I’m too passive, they think I’m not interested and leave.’ You can learn these things. Of course, it’s foolish to keep repeating the same mistakes, but even in failures that look similar on the surface, learning continues to emerge. Through this process, you can gain wisdom to properly balance relationship building. This isn’t failure – it’s practice. So whatever choice you make, always approach it with a practicing mindset. Don’t think of it heavily like you’re in the finals – think of it as a practice game. You’re still young, so what’s the problem with practicing a bit more?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Questions continued one after another.

I’ve had an obsession since childhood that I must handle everything alone. How can I let go of this mindset?
I’ve achieved economic stability but feel empty as if I’ve lost my life’s purpose. How can I feel happiness?
Relationships with neighbors who have different political views are painful. Should I continue maintaining these relationships?
My sincere words get misunderstood and taken advantage of. How should I handle interpersonal relationships?
How should I do the Lotus Sutra, Baekjung Prayer, and 49-day memorial service? Is it okay to do the opening ceremony once a week?
After someone moved in with me, I started seeing ghosts. How does Buddhism deal with such spirits?
My husband is in the Philippines, and I’m in America. Where should we live in the future?
How should we view Korean religious leaders actively engaging in social issues?
I’m afraid my child’s special admission might fail due to past document preparation errors. How can I manage anxiety about plans going wrong?

Finally, Sunim gave words of encouragement for the Korean community.

“People all over the world want to come live in America, right? But these days, it seems there’s great disappointment because President Trump is preventing people from coming to America. Fortunately, you all came here first. So if you say you can’t live here, you’re giving despair to people around the world. It’s like if we thought everything would be good when we got to heaven, but then people who actually got to heaven came out saying ‘I can’t live here’ – then there’s nowhere left to go. If people who went to heaven with dreams that it would solve their hardships all come out saying they can’t live there, that would be terrible. Your coming to America is a privilege. You shouldn’t be pessimistic here, talking about dying or living. Even if it’s difficult, think of yourself as being in good conditions and look at yourself positively as you live. I wish you all good health.”

The lecture ended with loud applause. Sunim immediately began a book signing session.

Many people stood in a long line waiting their turn and then thanked Sunim. One of Sunim’s middle and high school classmates also attended the lecture and greeted Sunim. Sunim gave signed books as gifts and took commemorative photos together.

After all the audience members left the lecture hall, Sunim took a commemorative photo with the volunteers who prepared the lecture.

“Atlanta Let’s go!”

He also took commemorative photos with Kim Jong-yoon who was in charge of the lecture, Won Kyung-hee and Park Ha-young who were deputy directors, the business owner who donated the free use of the lecture hall, and Choi Jin-young who hosted the lecture.

“Thank you all for your hard work.”

The volunteers had a mindful sharing session with Dharma Teacher Myodeok and Dharma Teacher Beophae. While the volunteers were sharing, Sunim had a brief meeting with Deborah.

When the mindful sharing session with volunteers ended, they left the lecture hall at 4:50 PM and departed for Atlanta International Airport. The volunteers expressed much regret, urging Sunim to stay overnight in Atlanta next year.

Upon arriving at the airport, Sunim took a commemorative photo with Park Ha-young and her husband who provided driving service. After quickly checking in and passing through immigration, he had a simple dinner with a lunch box at the food court. After dinner, he moved to the gate area, worked on some tasks, and took off from Atlanta Airport at 8:05 PM. After a 1 hour and 45 minute flight, he arrived at Ronald Reagan Airport in Washington D.C. at 9:50 PM.

When he exited the airport, Min Deok-hong, Director of JTS USA, was waiting to greet him. After exchanging greetings with Sunim, they immediately returned to the US Jungto Center, arriving at 11 PM. After briefly organizing his luggage and discussing tomorrow’s schedule, he went to bed.

With today, all 10 lectures of the North American East Coast tour have been completed – 7 lectures for Korean communities and 3 lectures with English interpretation. For the next 3 days, he will meet with U.S. Congress members, government officials, and think tank representatives in Washington D.C. to discuss peace on the Korean Peninsula and improving North Korea-U.S. relations.