What Kind of Practice Should I Do to Discover My True Self?

Good morning. A new day has dawned at the Dubuk Retreat Center.

After completing his early morning practice and meditation, Sunim visited his parents’ grave with his brothers. He paid respects at the grave and also checked if the surrounding area was well-maintained, as his older brother’s grave had recently been moved next to their parents’.

After lunch, at 12:30 PM, Sunim headed to Gyeongju to attend the Gyeongju Buddhist Student Association alumni event.

Sunim was introduced to Buddhism in his first year of high school, with Venerable Bulsim Domun as his teacher. In his second year, he became the president of both the Gyeongju Buddhist Student Association and the Yeongnam Buddhist United Student Association, leading Buddhist training for young people. Later, he established the Yeongnam Buddhist Education Institute to guide and train his juniors. Sunim’s alumni, seniors, and juniors from that time period hold an annual reunion.

The Gyeongju Buddhist Student Association alumni had been on a pilgrimage to Namsan Mountain in Gyeongju since 10 AM and gathered in front of King Gyeongae’s tomb at 1 PM to meet Sunim. When Sunim arrived, everyone welcomed him warmly.

“Oh, Sunim has arrived!”

“It’s good to see you all.”

One of the alumni representing the group presented a bouquet of flowers to Sunim as a gesture of welcome.

After reciting the Three Refuges and the Heart Sutra, they sang the Cheongbeobga (Song of Requesting the Dharma) and asked Sunim for a Dharma talk. Sunim began the conversation by reminiscing about the time when he and his fellow students dreamed of revitalizing Buddhism during their youth.

“It’s wonderful to see you all. I see many seniors, colleagues, and juniors here. Although I’ve known about the alumni meetings, I’ve never been able to attend, using my busy schedule as an excuse. Today, I had planned to visit Unmunsa Temple with some foreign guests, so I initially thought I’d just greet you briefly in the parking lot. However, looking at the schedule, I realized the Unmunsa visit wasn’t essential, so I changed my plans to attend this alumni Dharma meeting. The Gyeongju Buddhist Student Association was founded at Beopjangsa Temple and has a long history of activities. Beopjangsa Temple was also where I first began my Buddhist activities in Gyeongju. At that time, since Venerable Bulsim Domun was at Bunhwangsa Temple in Gyeongju, we moved the headquarters of the Yeongnam Buddhist United Student Association to Bunhwangsa, and I began living there. From that point on, I stopped studying and devoted myself entirely to Buddhist activities, which disappointed my family and friends. However, since modernizing and socializing Korean Buddhism had been our dream since we were young, I believe that my participation in these activities was ultimately a good decision.

I met Venerable Domun, who almost forcibly led me to inherit the legacy of Master Yongseong. Although it wasn’t something I initially wanted, looking back after 55 years, I think it was a good choice to have taken this path. That’s why I often tell people, ‘I’m doing well even with choices I didn’t make myself. So why do you keep complaining about life and death when you’ve made your own choices?’

What Is the True Path to Restoring Korean Buddhism?

This place is Samreunggol, isn’t it? It was right here that we set our aspirations for the revival of Buddhism and our nation, and began our Buddhist student association activities. Even after graduation, when we were involved in alumni activities, we spent a lot of time maintaining and pilgrimaging to Namsan in Gyeongju. In particular, here in Samreunggol, there’s a headless Buddha statue in front of the rock-carved Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. Back then, our dream was to find the head of this statue in this valley and restore it. One day, while looking at that statue, I began to wonder, ‘Is finding and restoring the head of this statue really the true restoration?’ Every time I saw that statue, I felt it represented the current state of Korean Buddhism. Usually, the head symbolizes wisdom, and the hands symbolize compassion. But this statue, with its missing head and damaged limbs, leaving only the body, appeared to me like the current state of Korean Buddhism – where only the name ‘Buddhism’ remains, devoid of the Buddha’s teachings of wisdom and compassionate action. When I asked myself, ‘Is finding the head and reattaching it, and restoring the limbs, truly the restoration of Korean Buddhism?’ I felt that it wasn’t. I realized that implementing the Buddha’s correct teachings in this world is the true restoration of the head, and practicing compassion towards those suffering most in society is the restoration of the Buddha’s hands and feet. That’s why in the early days when I started Buddhist activities in Seoul, I always used this statue as a cover model.

Historically, Korean Buddhism lost its leadership role in society due to the 500 years of oppression during the Joseon Dynasty. It had degenerated into a religion that merely prayed for blessings. How can we revive Buddhism centered on the Buddha’s teachings? I believe this is the greatest challenge facing Korean Buddhism. This idea was already advocated by Master Yongseong under the slogan of ‘the intellectualization of Buddhism.’ At that time, Korean people were suffering under the oppression of a dictatorship and the pain of industrialization. For Buddhism to ignore this and not participate in their suffering was like the Buddha having no hands or feet. So we decided to engage in more social practice. In Master Yongseong’s teachings, this could be called ‘the spread and practical application of Buddhism in daily life.’

A Place to Vow Once Again to Realizing Our Childhood Dreams

So, this Samneung Valley is also where I set the direction for Korean Buddhism. As I talk with you here today, I’m reminded of the time when I first vowed to revitalize Buddhism. Even now, that Buddha statue remains with its head and limbs cut off. However, I hope that by working together to make Korean Buddhism a source of hope for our society, we can collectively restore that statue.

The Gyeongju Buddhist Student Association and the Yeongnam Buddhist Student Association were not merely groups of Buddhist students. At that time, we made a vow to dedicate our lives to the revival of Buddhism. I want to remind you of this once again. You had such big dreams at a young age, but as you’ve lived your lives, you might think you’re too busy just getting by to remember when you dreamed such dreams. However, even if you’ve temporarily forgotten your childhood dreams and are approaching retirement age, you can still be active until you’re 80, right? So, don’t think of your childhood dreams as just passing fancies. I would like to ask you to revitalize your vows once again even today. Back then, we had such big dreams despite having no abilities. Now, you’ve all become influential in your own ways. So, I hope you can once again embrace your childhood dreams and act on them. I hope we can use this gathering to come together again as veteran warriors and vow to realize the dream of revitalizing Buddhism.”

Following this, Sunim held a Dharma Q&A session to discuss life concerns. Anyone could raise their hand and ask Sunim a question.

After an hour of discussing various questions, everyone gathered for a commemorative photo.

“Gyeongju Buddhist Alumni Association, fighting!”

After taking a group photo, graduates also took pictures with Sunim by graduation year.

“Sunim, at this rate, you may come down with an illness after joining us for the first time in a while. Thank you for coming despite your busy schedule.”

“I should have come more. Sorry I could not make the time to do so.”

After saying goodbye to the alumni, Sunim returned to Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center.

Today marks the third day of the Women’s INEB Jungto Society Study Tour program. The Women’s INEB delegation spent the afternoon visiting Unmunsa Temple, a bhikkhuni temple, guided by Dharma teacher Deoksaeng, before returning to Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center.

After evening prayers, from 7 PM, Sunim had a discussion session with the participants of the Women’s INEB Jungto Society Study Tour program.

Sunim first greeted everyone.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Is this the third day? It feels like it has been a week, doesn’t it? (laughs) This session is not for me to tell you what I wish to tell you. You’ve probably heard various explanations about Jungto Society over the past three days, so this is a time for you to ask questions about anything you’re curious about regarding Jungto Society’s activities. You can also ask about any difficulties you face in your own activities.”

Then, Sunim opened the floor for questions. Over the course of two hours, six people asked Sunim questions. The first person to raise her hand was a bhikkhuni from Ladakh. She first shared her impressions of Korean Buddhism based on what she had seen and heard over the past three days.

“I had heard the name Jungto Society, but I didn’t know much about their activities in Korea. In Ladakh, Korean cuisine and clothing were introduced due to the Korean Wave, but there was no mention of Buddhism. However, after coming to Korea, I was amazed to learn how Korean Buddhism has influenced people. I felt blessed to actually see how Buddhism has been so well maintained despite being oppressed for 500 years during the Joseon Dynasty.”

She then asked for Sunim’s advice on how to become like Venerable Pomnyun Sunim.

How Can One Become Like Venerable Pomnyun Sunim?

“I have one question. If someone, whether Buddhist or not, wants to become like Venerable Pomnyun, what advice do you think Venerable Pomnyun would give to that person?”

“It’s not desirable to become like someone else. Everyone should live with their own flavor.”

Everyone smiled as if they had been struck by Sunim’s one-line answer. The bhikkhuni from Ladakh clarified her question and asked Sunim again.

What Mindset Should One Have When Working to Make Society Better?

“If there is someone who wants to work towards making society better, are there any mindsets or attitudes that person should keep in mind?”

“While we express it as working for others, in reality, we’re not working for others but for ourselves. Truly working for others means doing what that person actually needs. I don’t think it’s desirable to have the perspective of ‘I’ll work for others’ and act based on that. If they’re hungry, we should provide food. If they lack water, we should provide water. If they have mental difficulties, we should listen to them. When we intentionally try to help someone, it’s easy for our own needs to take precedence over the other person’s needs. I don’t think that attitude is desirable. If others don’t need anything, there’s no problem if we don’t do anything.”

The questions continued.

How can we promote social participation and volunteer activities in Bhutan as in Korea? How can we collaborate with people to encourage participation?

Depression, suicide, and drug addiction are increasing among young people. How can Buddhism respond to these issues?

What realization did you have when you first sat under the persimmon tree at Mungyeong Jungto Retreat Center? How did the teachings of Great Master Seoam influence you?

As the conversation was coming to an end, another bhikkhuni from Ladakh raised her hand and asked a question.

What Practice Should One Do to Discover One’s True Self?

“What is the most important thing to find my true self?

“When we talk about discovering the true self, we presuppose that there is a ‘true self’.”

“This is a question about the part where you mentioned in the first question that one should find their own taste.”

“When we usually talk about finding our ‘true self’, it presupposes that there is a ‘true self.’ But how can we know that there is a ‘true self?'”

“You said, ‘Be yourself.’ Doesn’t it imply that there is something to be my true self?”

“When we use such terms, there are underlying assumptions. When we say ‘find myself,’ it assumes that there is a self. When we say we put ourselves at the center, we also assume that there is a self. But how can we really know that there is a self? We assume it exists and try to find it, all while not knowing whether it actually exists. Therein lies our contradiction. In Buddhism, this is expressed as ‘anatta,’ meaning there is nothing that can be called self. The phrase ‘find your true self’ doesn’t mean that there is actually a self to find. It means to investigate what this thing we call ‘self’ is. It’s important to investigate what this thing that feels like it exists as ‘self’ really is. You all use the term ‘self’ and actually feel as if there is a self. But Buddhist practice is about investigating what this thing we call ‘self’ really is.

The premise behind the words ‘I’m searching for myself’ is there is an ‘I’ to be found. There’s something that feels like an ‘I,’ but what exactly is this ‘I?’ The key is not to become like Venerable Pomnyun Sunim, but to examine what this ‘I’ really is. That’s why in Seon (Zen) Buddhism, we contemplate the koan ‘Who am I?’ Another way to express this is ‘What is this?’ We’re asking ourselves what this thing we call ‘I’ is. In Chinese, this is expressed as ‘是什么 (shì shénme)?’ From the perspective of Theravada Buddhism, we might say ‘just be aware.’ We don’t make definitive statements about what it is; we simply become aware. If we just observe whatever mind states arise without making judgments, we can understand the nature of the mind. The human mind is not constant; it’s always changing. Sometimes ‘I’ feels like one thing and sometimes ‘I’ feels like another thing – we can see that it’s always changing. This leads to the realization of impermanence. This is called ‘anicca’ in Pali. Because thoughts, feelings, and the mind are all impermanent, there’s no need to cling to them. They simply function according to causes and conditions. Usually, when a thought or emotion arises, we tend to grasp onto it, which leads to conflicts with others and anger. But that’s just a momentary emotion; it changes soon after. If we’re always aware of this fact, we can avoid becoming attached to it. However, we’re often swayed by and influenced by our emotions. Emotions constantly arise, but because they change from this to that, we only need to be aware: ‘Oh, this emotion is arising,’ ‘Oh, that emotion is arising.’ So while Vipassana meditation and Seon practice might seem different in their methods, fundamentally, there isn’t much difference.

“

“Thank you. I understand.”

By the time the conversation ended, it was almost 10 PM. As it was getting late, we decided to continue the dialogue tomorrow and concluded the meeting.

“We’ll end here for today.”

The female INEB Jungto Society study tour participants divided into three groups for sharing, then tidied up the cushions they had used and prepared their bedding to retire for the night.

Tomorrow’s schedule includes having Barugongyang (formal Buddhist monastic meal) with the female INEB Jungto Society study tour participants in the morning, followed by participant introductions. Then, there will be a live broadcast of the Dharma talk for daytime leading members. In the afternoon, Sunim will have another dialogue session with the female INEB Jungto Society study tour participants, followed by online participation in the community branch public hearing. In the evening, there will be a live broadcast of the Dharma talk for leading members.