How Can I Change My Overthinking and Persistent Personality to Be More Straightforward?

May 24, 2025 – Farm Work, Planting Corn, Harvesting Onions

Hello. Today, Sunim spent the entire day doing farm work at Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center.

At the end of May, on a morning with a gentle spring rain, Sunim finished his morning practice, put on his raincoat, and went out to the garden to harvest chives, lettuce, and strawberries. The harvested vegetables and strawberries were washed clean to be eaten for lunch.

Just as he was about to take a break after finishing the work, Sunim heard that Dharma Teacher Myodang was harrowing the field before rice planting, so he went to check on the rice paddy.

He first stopped by the greenhouse. Volunteers had been doing farm work there since early morning. Sunim approached them and greeted them. Smiles spread across the faces of the volunteers as they raised their soil-covered hands in greeting.

He went to greenhouse number one and carefully dug up two plants to check if the potatoes had grown well. White, plump potatoes emerged from the soil.

At the rice paddy, Dharma Teacher Myodang was leveling the field with a tractor. Sunim stood at the edge of the field watching, and when the tractor came close to the ridge, he greeted him.

The rain still hadn’t let up. Dharma Teacher Hyangjon suggested:

“Sunim, I think now would be perfect for planting corn.”

Stepping on the rain-moistened ground, Sunim headed to the field where ginseng had been planted.

Sunim first checked how much the ginseng had grown. Very small sprouts were emerging.

He planted corn in the empty space next to the furrows where the ginseng was planted. The sounds of birds that had been sheltering from the rain between the branches could be heard singing intermittently in the rain.

Sunim carefully dug into the moist soil and planted each seedling with care. With quiet but quick movements, he steadily filled one corner of the field without any disorder.

After planting all the seedlings, he sowed corn seeds one by one in the remaining land.

On the way back after planting the corn, he stopped by the greenhouse where onions had been planted to check if it was nearly time to harvest them.

“Looking at the fallen stems, it seems it’s time to harvest. I’ll come back this afternoon to dig them up.”

He went down to the stream to wash the hoe he had used and finished the morning work.

After lunch, from 4 PM, a meeting was held on the topic of “Youth Dharma Propagation” with volunteers from the Special Youth Division and the Jungto Society Social Activities Committee all connected via online video conference. The Special Youth Division presented a draft plan they had prepared since last week’s meeting.

Various programs were proposed on how to give hope and courage to young people. After listening to the young people’s ideas, Sunim offered some advice. They agreed to research and supplement the plans further and discuss them again at the next meeting, concluding at 5 PM.

After the meeting, Sunim put on his work clothes again and started farm work.

“Since it’s raining, let’s do work that can be done inside the greenhouse.”

He headed to the onion field he had checked in the morning and began harvesting purple and white onions in earnest. Inside the greenhouse, many onions had grown fully and fallen over.

He pulled them out whole without cutting the stems and laid them out in long rows on the ground. After drying them in the sun and wind for a few days, they plan to braid and hang them with their stems.

During the 100-Day Dharma Talk period, he couldn’t come down to the countryside often and couldn’t water them frequently. Despite this, while some onions had grown thick, most were not very thick.

“Let’s pull out all the ones that have fallen over and leave the ones still standing to grow a bit more.”

He left the ones standing upright toward the sky and cleared the weeds around them. After pulling the grass that had grown at the entrance and edges of the greenhouse, he finished the farm work.

Today was a day full of the scent of earth.

“Let’s finish now. Thank you all for your hard work.”

As the sun set, he worked on administrative tasks in the evening. JTS President Park Gina made a trip to the countryside after a long time, and they had dinner together and discussed plans for Syria support before ending the day’s activities.

Tomorrow morning, he will visit someone in the hospital, tour the rice paddies and fields in the afternoon, and move to Seoul in the evening.

Since there was no Dharma talk today, this article concludes with a conversation between a questioner and Sunim from the Friday Dharma Q&A two days ago.

How Can I Change My Overthinking and Persistent Personality to Be More Straightforward?

“You don’t necessarily have to change it. It’s fine to live being clingy. Living that way won’t cause major problems. However, if you want to live more crisply, even when clingy feelings arise, you need to control your actions. You need to practice speaking less and stepping back even when you want to approach someone. Everyone has different ways of forming relationships. Some people like close connections, while others feel comfortable keeping distance. I also feel burdened when things get too sticky and tend to keep my distance. Ultimately, whether you’re sticky or crisp, it’s a tendency and preference. Rather than forcing change, it’s important to first accept yourself as you are. Of course, that attitude might make someone uncomfortable. If you hear things like, ‘Hey, stop being so clingy. You’re like gum stuck on me,’ then you can reflect on it. Say something once instead of twice, visit once instead of twice. Just slightly slowing down the tempo of your words and actions is enough. Don’t overthink it.

Also, the questioner mentioned that they have many thoughts lately that keep circling in their mind and don’t easily disappear. This could indicate a slight mental health issue. When someone has too many thoughts, their mind doesn’t rest even when they sleep, and they often have frequent dreams. Of course, everyone has thoughts, but when it becomes excessive, people end up living more in their thoughts than in reality. In other words, they live in a fantasy world. In such cases, it’s good to visit a psychiatrist for a consultation. People’s mental states are distributed in a normal distribution, like a parabola, and you can check whether you fall within the 95% range. If you’re within that range, you’re just someone who thinks a lot. You can simply acknowledge, ‘I’m a bit different from others,’ and live with it. On the other hand, if you fall outside the 95% range, you might need treatment.

Illness doesn’t exist inherently; it’s what we call a condition when it deviates significantly from certain standards. If you’re diagnosed with an illness, there are treatments available, and you can receive appropriate help. If you’re within the normal range, it’s not an illness but simply a distinct tendency. Some people are emotional, while others are rational. If someone is overly emotional, they’re told they’re ‘mentally weak.’ If someone is too rational, they’re told they ‘lack sensitivity’ or are ‘insensitive.’ However, most people fall within the normal distribution. Within that range, it’s just a matter of which tendencies are stronger. That’s why personality types are divided into sixteen categories like MBTI or explained through various theories.

The important thing is that if these tendencies are so strong that they cause discomfort in daily life, treatment may be necessary. However, in most cases, they’re just personal characteristics. So there’s no need to worry too much. Rather, problems arise when you deny your current tendencies and try to become a completely different person. This is called greed. For example, if I was born as cotton but want to become iron, it requires tremendous effort and stress. And it doesn’t really work well either. Cotton has the advantages of being soft and warm, so it’s better to make use of those qualities. If you’re highly emotional, you can live with a career that makes good use of that sensitivity. There’s no need to struggle to become like a rational person. If you try to force change, it becomes harder and more difficult to fix. And there’s no standard for which tendencies are good or bad. If you adopt this perspective, your life will become much more comfortable.”

“Thank you.”