May 7, 2025 – The Second Day of the 20th UN Day of Vesak Celebrations
Hello. Today, Sunim returned to Korea on a night flight after attending the 20th United Nations Day of Vesak Celebrations 2025 in Vietnam.
After having breakfast at the accommodation at 5 AM and packing his belongings, Sunim boarded the bus at 6 AM. Passing through the early morning scenery of Vietnam, he arrived at Ho Chi Minh Buddhist University at 7:30 AM.
At 8 AM, monks and Buddhist leaders with diverse traditions, cultures, and languages, wearing white monastic robes, yellow kasayas, and red ceremonial robes, gathered in the auditorium. First, “Chanting for World Peace” resonated according to Tibetan Buddhist tradition. Sunim joined with his hands folded and eyes closed.
Next, Buddhist leaders from various countries delivered congratulatory speeches. The former Minister of Social Justice from India spoke about how Buddhism has become a new hope in Indian society, which suffers from inequality and discrimination.
“Buddhism is not just a religion. It is the restoration of human dignity and a revolution for peace.”
Following this, Buddhist leaders from Korea, Austria, Indonesia, Hungary, Norway, Brazil, Russia, and other countries took the stage.
The messages from leaders of each country were different yet similar. All emphasized how Buddhist wisdom could provide answers in an age of conflict and crisis. In particular, the power of education and meditation, and the possibility of social transformation through inner change, were emphasized repeatedly. Although Sunim was invited to speak by the organizers, he chose to listen rather than take the stage this time.
When the official event ended at 10 AM, Sunim greeted the representative of the Vietnamese Buddhist Sangha, Most Venerable Thich Thien Nhon. The Most Venerable was very pleased to see him and held his hand firmly. Sunim presented him with a gift and also gave an English translation of “Buddha the Revolutionary” to the Vice President of the Buddhist University, Venerable Thich Nhat Tu.
Sunim also took commemorative photos with Ho Chi Minh Jungto members on stage.
As he was leaving the auditorium, Hiro, an advisor to Subharti Buddhist University, recognized Sunim and greeted him warmly in Korean.
“Annyeonghaseyo!” (Hello!)
Hiro invited Sunim to visit the Buddhist cultural exhibition displaying Buddhist artifacts from India.
After touring the exhibition, Sunim presented English translations of “Buddha the Revolutionary” to Hiro and the former Indian Minister of Social Justice.
In one corner of the venue, a space was set up where participants could have tea and converse. Sunim had tea with Ho Chi Minh Jungto members and discussed how they practice and carry out activities in Vietnam.
After lunch, Sunim participated in a themed workshop held in a university lecture hall.
Among the four themes—”Inner Peace for World Peace,” “The Path of Healing and Reconciliation Through Mindfulness,” “Compassion in Action: Buddhist Responsibility for Human Development,” and “Mindfulness in Education for a Compassionate and Sustainable Future”—Sunim chose to attend the session on “Cultivating Inner Peace for World Peace.”
A Vietnamese monk criticized the commonly mistranslated Buddhist concept of “non-violence,” arguing for a return to its original meaning of “non-harming.” He emphasized that “inner peace begins with a deep respect for life.”
A professor from Nepal emphasized that modern crises—war, climate crisis, and mental illness—all originate from the human “mind,” stating that “if we don’t cleanse our minds, the world cannot become clear.” He introduced examples of Gautama Buddha’s practice of compassion, emphasizing that “Buddha’s great power was transforming even the murderer Angulimala through love and compassion.”
A young monk from Congo, Africa, shared his experience of spreading peace on a continent where Buddhism has not yet taken root.
“Even in a land full of violence and division, if there is honesty, compassion, and mindfulness, that place becomes a practice ground.”
The presenters unanimously agreed that “without inner peace, there can be no external peace.” After the workshop, during the break, Sunim returned to the tea area.
Sunim exchanged greetings with Phra Brahmapundit, the Chairman of the International Council for Day of Vesak.
“Thank you for your hard work in preparing this event.”
After having tea, at 4 PM, Sunim moved to Thich Quang Duc Hall where the cultural event was to be held.
Due to rain and traffic during rush hour, it took two hours to reach Thich Quang Duc Hall, arriving after 6 PM. Sunim had a simple dinner and waited for the event to begin.
Before the main event, Vietnamese people dressed in beautiful hanbok (Korean traditional clothing) appeared on stage and beat drums. Their respect and welcome for Korean culture was evident.
At 8 PM, the cultural event began with opening remarks from Phra Brahmapundit, Chairman of the International Council for Day of Vesak.
The first performance featured the profound melodies of the Ho Chi Minh City Symphony Orchestra, the graceful movements of the Arabesque Dance Troupe, and the sweet voice of singer Dao Mark, together presenting the wisdom of Prajnaparamita in a delicate yet magnificent display.
The audience was captivated by the performance, and Sunim watched quietly. However, as his flight time approached, he quietly left the venue after watching only the first performance.
Arriving at the airport at 9:30 PM, Sunim said goodbye to the Ho Chi Minh Jungto members who had participated in the event with him for two days.
“Thank you for your hard work. See you in July.”
After completing departure procedures at Ho Chi Minh Airport, Sunim boarded a flight to Incheon at 11:45 PM.
Tomorrow is the 81st day of the 100-Day Dharma Talk. Upon arriving in Korea, Sunim will give a lecture on the Heart Sutra (Part 4) at the Jungto Social and Cultural Center, then travel to Andong in North Gyeongsang Province to deliver relief supplies for forest fire victims, and return to Seoul for the 17th lecture of the Buddhist Social Studies Course in the evening. Since there was no Dharma talk today, we will conclude with a conversation between a questioner and Sunim from the Friday Dharma Q&A session two days ago.
How should I live with my child who has developmental disabilities?
“Even after parents pass away, the child will eventually live according to their own way. You must be very worried now, but he has lived well until the age of twenty-six. When he reaches thirty or forty, he might actually become more stable. So try to set aside some of your worries about your son and focus more on your own health and life now. Even when your child asserts himself and tries to destroy the house, don’t try to control everything—it’s necessary to let go to some extent.”
“How can I just let it go? We don’t live alone—there are neighbors living above and below us. He causes disturbances to people around us, and there have been many instances where the police were called.”
“If the disturbances are so severe that police are being called, then it’s time to place him in a facility.”
“But it’s not easy to send him to a facility. Although he has autism spectrum disorder, his language skills are developed, so he can clearly express his opinions. He strongly objects, asking why he should live in such a place when his parents are still alive.”
“But if the situation is causing harm to others, measures need to be taken to prevent it. If left unchecked, he could end up hurting someone else.”
“Moreover, the current structure of disability care facilities requires the individual’s consent for admission, and the government is gradually reducing such facilities, so we can’t force him to go even if we wanted to.”
“You don’t necessarily have to think of it as forcing him. For example, when your child has a severe outburst, you can hospitalize him, and when he calms down, bring him back home—living by repeating this pattern. The difficulty now is that you’re expecting your child, who is a patient, to behave like a normal person. This approach is actually similar to what’s done with alcoholics. When they become intoxicated and reach an addicted state, they’re sent to the hospital, and after about a month when their condition improves, they’re brought back home. If they drink again, they’re sent back to the hospital, and life continues in this cycle. At least while they’re in the hospital, it’s quiet, and during that time, you can take care of your own life.
Parents of such children also have the right to live happily. Your life shouldn’t be ruined because of your child. Don’t just accept this situation as suffering; accept it as part of your life. You need to let go of thoughts like ‘Is it okay to send my child to the hospital? Is it okay to send him to a facility?’ You need to adjust your response according to your child’s condition. Don’t interfere too much or try to control forcefully—sometimes just letting things be is one approach. For example, if your child causes noise between floors and someone from upstairs reports it, you can send him to the hospital. If a report comes in, you can honestly explain, ‘He’s currently in a state that’s difficult to control.'”
“The police say that they can only hospitalize him if he hits his parents or destroys the house. But our child seems to have learned from his previous hospital visits. Now he doesn’t break things or use violence like before; he just shouts and then quickly pretends to calm down. He might look fine on the surface, but he’s not at all. He still pressures us and keeps nagging. For example, if he needs to go somewhere but his dad is about to go to work, he insists, ‘Don’t go to work, come with me.’ But if his dad just goes to work anyway, the house becomes chaotic from that moment.”
“If he causes a scene and rolls around in the yard, you can call the police.”
“Even if we call, the police just come and go. I can be firm and cut things off decisively when the situation arises, but his father can’t do that well, so he ends up being dragged along by our child.”
“That’s your husband’s ineffective response method, so there’s nothing you can do about it. If your child shows signs of becoming violent, just call the police right away, have them come, and let them intervene to resolve the situation. Don’t take this too seriously. Just as I’m talking about this with a smile now, you need to adopt a somewhat lighter attitude. That’s how you can live happily. Of course, it’s not easy to do this, but if you keep taking the situation heavily every time, you’ll eventually wear yourself out. You might end up suffering until the day you die.”
“When we send him to the hospital, my husband feels heartbroken, and honestly, I feel heartbroken too.”
“Then you’ll have no choice but to continue living like you are now. What I want to suggest is finding a way to live that causes less heartache. That method involves not viewing this situation solely as a tragic problem, but accepting it as part of your everyday life. That’s how you can survive, and your child can live with you too.”
“Yes, I understand. Thank you.”
“It doesn’t seem like you really understand. What I’m saying is not that this is easy. Of course, it’s difficult. But this is already the reality given to you. Even in this reality, you, as a parent, have the right to live happily. Thinking that your life is ruined because of this child ultimately harms you. So instead of dwelling on how difficult it is, try to accept this situation as just your daily life. For example, even if your child has an outburst, it’s not all day, just once a day, right? If you think, ‘This kind of thing can happen once a day,’ and accept that as part of your routine, it becomes much easier. Rather, if there’s no outburst, you can lightly think, ‘It’s quiet today,’ and move on. As you get used to it, your heart will feel less burdened.
If the outburst is severe, call the police, and if it happens again, call again. Don’t always look at it from the perspective of ‘How should I solve this?’ but change your thinking to ‘How can I be happy even in this situation?’ If you don’t do that, you’ll continue to live with anxiety.”
“That’s right. Even now, when I open my eyes in the morning, I’m overwhelmed with worry about how to get through the day. And it’s been like this for over 20 years, not just a day or two.”
“Then it’s time to break free from this anxious life. Accidents don’t decrease just because you’re anxious. If they’re going to happen anyway, responding to them as they occur is the practical approach. If the situation is severe, send him to the hospital; if it’s moderate, call the police; if he looks like he might hit someone, report it immediately. Bring him back when he calms down, and if another incident occurs, send him away again. In this repeating pattern, both your child will get used to it, and you as parents will become much more composed. It’s much less stressful to accept the situation than to live under constant anxiety. By the way, how often does your child have outbursts in a month?”
“Almost every other day.”
“Then one attitude you can adopt is to think, ‘At least it’s not every day, so that’s fortunate.’ If something is going to repeat anyway, it’s important to have flexibility in how you accept it.”
“My child is sensitive to space. Currently, we live on the middle floor of a house, with tenants above and below us. My child seems to feel more comfortable in clearly defined structures like apartments, but given our house structure, we can only use the middle floor, and the rest is set up for rent, so it’s difficult to move freely. We also need to consider our retirement preparations, so it’s not easy.”
“With the current approach of ‘this won’t work because of this, that won’t work because of that,’ it’s difficult to solve anything. If you’re going to continue experiencing stress from noise issues between floors, perhaps you could consider renting out the entire house and moving to a quiet detached house where you can manage even if your child has outbursts. If that’s difficult, you’ll have to adjust your lifestyle to fit your current environment. Ultimately, what’s important is choosing ‘how to live according to current conditions.'”
“Yes, I understand. Thank you.”
