May 4, 2025 – Day 77 of the 100-Day Dharma Talk, All-Day Youth Talk Talk Event for Buddha’s Birthday
Hello. This is Day 77 of Venerable Pomnyun Sunim’s 100-Day Dharma Talk. Today, Sunim will meditate with the Sangha and spend the entire day with young people at the Youth Talk Talk event celebrating Buddha’s Birthday.
After completing his morning practice and meditation, Sunim headed to the Jungto Social and Cultural Center.
At 10:15 AM, about 160 people gathered in the third-floor Dharma hall. The Sunday meditation began with the recitation of the Three Refuges and the Heart Sutra.
After the assembly paid respect to Sunim with three bows and requested his teaching, Sunim provided guidance on how to meditate.
Three Most Important Elements of Meditation
“The most important aspect of meditation is ‘mindfulness.’ Meditation is not about sitting still like a stone Buddha. It’s about maintaining awareness. Mindfulness means being clearly awake in the here and now. In Seon Buddhism, this is expressed as ‘soso-yeongnyeong,’ meaning a state of bright, clear illumination. It means being absolutely clear and distinct, like a bright light shining. When contemplating a hwadu (koan), being clearly awake to that hwadu is described as ‘the hwadu is vivid.’ Without this mindfulness, you’re just in a dull state. It might be quiet, but it’s merely a state of dullness. While many elements are important in meditation, the most essential is maintaining clear mindfulness.
The second important element is ‘comfort.’ If you strain, tense up, or force yourself to endure with gritted teeth, you won’t be able to continue for long. Meditation should be comfortable to be sustainable. If you’re not comfortable, you’ll quickly become tired and fatigued, eventually giving up. That’s why maintaining a comfortable state of body and mind is important. 
The third important element is ‘concentration.’ During meditation, your mind should be focused on one thing. If you’re merely relaxed, you might become drowsy, dull, or lost in various thoughts. This leads to ‘contemplation,’ which is like following fantasies as if watching a movie, far from a state of awareness. Such a state is similar to dreaming.
Don’t attach meaning to anything, just be aware
With proper posture and a relaxed body and mind, place your attention at the tip of your nostrils and be aware of your breath coming in and going out. The most important aspect of this is ‘awareness.’ If you lose awareness, simply notice that you’ve lost it and become aware again. Meditation is this endless repetition of the state of awareness. It would be best if awareness could be maintained continuously, but when you lose it, notice it, and when you lose it again, notice it again. This entire process should take place while your body and mind are relaxed. It’s not advisable to give up by thinking, ‘Why did I lose focus? I might as well not do this,’ or to become tense and struggle to never lose focus again. You can lose focus at any time. Sometimes you might feel sleepy or indulge in fantasies. What’s important is to recognize at that moment, ‘I’ve lost the meditative state.’ 
If you find yourself fidgeting or moving during meditation, it means your body is uncomfortable. Discomfort indicates that your awareness of breathing has been disrupted. It means your mind has been distracted by other bodily sensations rather than focusing on the breath. You complain of fatigue when asked to move, and of restlessness when asked to stay still. Try just sitting still with nothing to do. Even if you feel an itch or discomfort, simply notice, ‘This is uncomfortable,’ or ‘I want to move.’ Various thoughts may naturally arise in your mind, one after another. However, don’t assign meaning to them or follow them. Thoughts arising is inevitable, just like uncomfortable sensations arising in the body. Amid all this, remain aware of your breathing. Approach meditation with this perspective. Now, let’s assume the correct posture.”
As Sunim finished his guidance, the sound of the wooden clapper marked the beginning of meditation.
“Tak, tak, tak!”
After 30 minutes of meditation, the wooden clapper sounded again. Then followed 10 minutes of walking meditation.
“It’s time for walking meditation. Don’t rush; rise slowly and be aware of your posture and movements.”
Everyone stood up and focused on being aware of their posture and movements.
Following Sunim’s guidance, everyone sat down again for meditation. This second session also lasted 30 minutes.
“Tak, tak, tak!”
After three 30-minute meditation sessions, the practice concluded. The participants engaged in mindful sharing in small groups, while Sunim had lunch with everyone in the basement dining hall.
At 1 PM, Sunim warmly greeted actor Jo In-sung and Kim Je-dong, who had come to participate in the Youth Talk Talk event.
“Instead of a speaker’s fee today, I’d like to give you these as gifts.” (Laughter)
Sunim presented them with a Korean dictionary called ‘Pureun Baedalmaljip’ and his new book, ‘Buddha the Revolutionary.’ After exchanging warm greetings, at 2 PM, everyone moved to the second-floor lounge where young people had prepared various interactive booths. Sunim, along with Jo In-sung and Kim Je-dong, toured the different booths to encourage the youth participants.
“Thank you all for your hard work. Are you enjoying yourselves?”
“Yes, all the young people are participating with enthusiasm.”
Next, they moved to the basement auditorium where the Youth Talk Talk event was to be held.
The auditorium was filled with about 400 young people who erupted in cheers when Sunim, Kim Je-dong, and Jo In-sung appeared. Before the main event began, the vibrant and energetic Jungto Society college student volunteers gave an exciting performance.
Next, Kim Yehun, a member of the Jungto Society Youth Division, beautifully performed the song ‘I’ll Be Your Audience.’
After energetically starting the day-long Youth Talk with a lively song, the first part featured ‘Buddha Talk,’ a session where everyone listened to Sunim explain the meaning of Buddha’s Birthday.
Every year, the Buddha’s Birthday youth Dharma event used to be held in the evening, which always created time constraints. Since last year, a separate Buddha’s Birthday event for young people has been held the day before. Sunim took the stage to enthusiastic applause. He began his Dharma talk by noting that today’s social confusion has many similarities to the time when the Buddha lived, and shared stories from that era.
“Tomorrow is Buddha’s Birthday in the Buddhist year 2569. Our society today is at a major turning point, similar to when the Buddha was alive. This makes it a time when young people can easily feel lost. There’s a story about a conversation between the Buddha and some young people during his time. 
Have We Lost Our Jewels or Ourselves?
One day, some wealthy young men went on a picnic with their lovers, as was the custom at that time. However, one of them had no lover, so he brought along a courtesan. They all drank, enjoyed themselves, and eventually fell asleep. When they woke up, they discovered that all their jewelry and money had disappeared. It turned out that the courtesan had stolen everything while they were sleeping and run away. As the young men were chasing after her, they encountered the Buddha in the forest. After explaining what had happened, the Buddha asked them:
‘Young men, which is more important: finding the lost jewels or finding your lost selves?’
The young men replied, ‘Finding our lost selves is more important.’ The Buddha then had them sit down and taught them the Dharma. After hearing his teaching, they gained enlightenment and all decided to become monks on the spot. Of course, this story might contain some exaggeration, but it gives us a glimpse of what society was like at that time. The Buddha’s teaching emphasizes how important it is to go beyond attachment to material things and find one’s true self. 
So how should we live in this era? Is it right to believe that consuming more means living better? In the age of climate crisis, excessive consumption could be considered a serious crime. It’s not just about oneself; it could push all living beings toward extinction. We need to understand that overconsumption is like pouring poison into water upstream—only then can we let go of our attachment to it. You might criticize wealth inequality, but when a wealthy person or someone of high social status proposes marriage, your jaw drops, doesn’t it? This essentially means you’re choosing the path of servitude. It’s no different from how slaves in past class societies dreamed only of rising in status rather than abolishing the class system altogether. We need to reflect on whether we’re just desperately trying to keep up with a civilization that’s heading toward its end.
On Buddha’s Birthday, What Have We Lost in Our Lives?
We can say that we’re standing at a turning point in civilization. Whether it’s the climate crisis or wealth inequality, it’s clear that the direction of modern civilization is heading toward a dead end. You’ll feel it more tangibly in 10 years, and even more so in 20 years. However, because there’s still no major inconvenience in our day-to-day lives, people aren’t aware of this change. As a result, those who haven’t adapted to these changes are experiencing psychological anxiety, and social conflicts are intensifying. Extremism is spreading again worldwide, and far-right forces are gradually expanding their influence in politics. Even in Europe, this trend is being detected. What will the world look like if this phenomenon continues for the next 10 or 20 years? I’m not suggesting we look at the future with anxiety, but rather that we recognize we’re living in an era of significant change. 
The Buddha’s teaching is the Middle Way. The Middle Way means not leaning to one extreme. Whether it’s the Constitutional Court or the Supreme Court, when a ruling favors one’s side, people say, ‘The judiciary is alive,‘ but when it’s unfavorable, they say, ‘Even the judiciary is dead.’ One day we insist on following the law, and the next day we claim the law is unnecessary—this trend shows how much our society is drifting toward tribalism. While it’s difficult to view things with 100 percent objectivity, it’s necessary to maintain one’s center and a certain balance. 
We may be competitors living in the same country, but we are not enemies. North and South Korea might appear as hostile states, but from a national perspective, they are merely competing groups, not foes. Korea and Japan may have been enemies in the past, but in the future, amid the U.S.-China power competition, they might need to cooperate. Yet within South Korea, if someone says something slightly wrong, they’re labeled a ‘native Japanese collaborator,’ while the other side calls them ‘pro-North Korean leftists,‘“‘ demonizing each other. This mindset needs to be overcome. I hope our young people can adopt this middle-ground perspective, even just a little. I wish you all a joyful and meaningful day today.”
Through this Dharma talk, we were able to feel the meaning of Buddha’s Birthday together.
In the second part, we had an ‘Issue Talk Talk’ session to consider the path toward harmony amid social conflicts and divisions. Kim Je-dong, who first connected with Venerable Pomnyun Sunim through a talent donation lecture in 2010 and has been joining Sunim on the Youth Concert stage since 2011, communicating with young people in various ways, took the stage.
Kim Je-dong wittily satirized current social issues, keeping the young audience laughing throughout. The 50 minutes flew by as everyone held their sides with laughter. Finally, he shared some thoughts for the young people living in this era.
“Thank you for laughing so much. When you ride in a car, bus, or train, I hope we can dream together of a world where cities like Pyongyang, Vladivostok, and various European cities appear on your navigation or Korail app. So that when your children run away from home, they can run away to more expansive places. When someone asks, ‘Where did your son run away to?’ you can answer, ‘This time he went to Myohyangsan Mountain.’ I hope we don’t forget the vast genetic heritage we inherited from our ancestors.” (Laughter)
Kim Je-dong made a deep bow to the young people and left the stage. I hope all young people can live with light-hearted laughter like today.
After a short break, the program continued. The third part of the all-day Youth Talk Talk began with a performance by Min Ye-ha, a member of the Jungto Society Special Youth Division.
With great applause, ‘Happiness Talk Talk’ with Venerable Pomnyun Sunim officially began. This session was conducted in the Dharma Q&A format.
Five people raised their hands to ask Sunim questions. One of them expressed anxiety about repeatedly failing in relationships and wondering if they would have to live alone forever.
I keep failing at relationships. Do I really have to live alone?
“Isn’t a relationship something where both people have to like each other? Can you have a relationship with someone you don’t like?”
“No, I can’t.”
“If you like someone but they don’t like you, or if someone likes you but you don’t like them, a relationship can’t form. Ultimately, both you and the other person must like each other for a relationship to work. Statistically speaking, the probability of a relationship developing when you meet someone is about 25 percent. This is because there are four possible scenarios. First, both you and the other person like each other. Second, you like them, but they don’t like you. Third, you don’t like them, but they like you. Fourth, neither of you likes the other. Out of these four scenarios, only one leads to a relationship—when both parties like each other. So, out of four people you meet, only about one has the potential to develop into a relationship. Not every encounter leads to romance. Thinking ‘If I like someone, we’ll date’ is a misconception. 
When you socialize with people, mutual attraction naturally develops, and that attraction should evolve into romance. However, these days, people often approach relationships with statements like, ‘I haven’t dated for a long time‘ or ‘I want to experience dating,’ making the act of dating itself the goal when meeting people. Isn’t this approach defining the other person too much as an object of romance? You would also feel uncomfortable if someone approached you saying, ‘Let’s date.’ Therefore, approaching relationships with dating as the goal isn’t advisable because it objectifies the other person excessively. The same applies to approaching someone with ‘Let’s get married.’
In places where many people gather, as you naturally build relationships by going hiking together, playing tennis, or sharing meals, romantic feelings may develop. However, meeting ten people doesn’t mean you’ll develop romantic feelings for all of them. First, you need to like the person, and even when those feelings arise, we mentally consider various factors: ‘Is the age difference acceptable?’ or ‘What is their personality like?’ When examining these conditions one by one, developing a romantic relationship isn’t easy. This doesn’t mean it’s due to past-life connections or that there’s a predetermined time for it to happen. Realistically, when trying to match all the conditions each person desires, the probability of a relationship forming becomes lower. 
If you were to be more flexible with your criteria, such as widening the age gap or not focusing so much on appearance, your chances of developing a romantic relationship would increase. However, if you insist on maintaining these strict conditions, the probability of finding love becomes very low. This has nothing to do with any predetermined destiny.
So if you want to date, you can lower your standards, and if you maintain your standards, you’ll have to wait that much longer. I also have many conditions, which is why I’ve been waiting this long. So you can understand that ‘if you have many conditions, you’re likely to end up like Venerable Pomnyun Sunim.'” (laughter) 
“I think my thinking has been somewhat biased. Listening to Sunim’s words made me reflect on how I’ve been objectifying others. I’ve learned a lot. Thank you.”
This conversation with Sunim was a time for lightening the heart.
The final fourth segment continued the ‘Life Talk Talk’ with screenwriter Noh Hee-kyung, who is a mentor to many actors and consistently delivers heartfelt works to viewers.
After watching video clips of famous scenes from Ms. Noh’s representative works, ‘It’s Okay, That’s Love’ and ‘Dear My Friends,’ the host asked various questions about her dramas and life.
“I heard that filming has started for your next work, ‘Slowly, Intensely.’ How have you been lately?”
“I’ve finished the first draft. These days, I keep receiving questions from the filming site. When difficult filming conditions arise, I revise the script and am living comfortably.”
The conversation continued with various topics including the writer’s recent activities, her motivation for writing dramas, thoughts on love, and reasons for volunteering. Before we knew it, 50 minutes had passed.
Finally, the host asked for advice on how young people living in this era can understand and love themselves. The writer smiled and said:
“I hope you can ask yourself what you truly want, not what the world or your parents want. Try writing down what you like on paper. You need to ask yourself every day what you like. Every morning, I take time to have a conversation with myself, asking ‘How can I spend today pleasantly?’ By doing this, you come to love yourself. The first thing you see when you open your eyes in the morning is your own face. I’d like to tell you not to miss out on exploring yourself. Don’t be curious about others; be curious about yourself.”
From the dialogue in her dramas to family, life as a practitioner, and warm advice to young people, we walked together following Ms. Noh Hee-kyung’s deep perspective and warm heart.
Finally, everyone shouted together and took a commemorative photo.
“Let’s awaken the Buddha within us!”
The Youth Talk Talk event concluded with great applause, hoping that love and understanding would gently permeate every corner of our lives.
After all the young people had left, Sunim took special time to express his gratitude to screenwriter Noh Hee-kyung, Jo In-sung, and Kim Je-dong for donating their time and talents.
“Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules for these young people.”
“Not at all. Where else can we find an event where so many young people gather these days. We had a great time.”
They agreed to meet again at the Dharma talk for social figures tomorrow afternoon on Buddha’s Birthday, and Sunim headed to the studio on the 6th floor. After recording a Dharma talk to be shown at the Weekly Dharma Assembly the day after tomorrow, Sunim concluded the day’s activities.
Tomorrow is Buddha’s Birthday in the Buddhist year 2569. In the morning, Sunim will hold a celebratory ceremony for Jungto Society members, followed by a Dharma talk for social figures in the afternoon. In the evening, at the invitation of the Vietnamese Sangha, Sunim will depart from Incheon Airport to attend the UN Vesak Day, traveling all night by plane to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.
I do not know how to love since my mother abandoned my sisters and myself totally three girls. The youngest was one I myself was three and the eldest one was five. How can I know love when the one that birth me abandoned me it’s hard to trust.