Feb 12, 2025 – Meeting with the Queen Mother and Conference with the Cabinet Secretary
Hello. Today, I met and conversed with Tshering Yangdon, the mother of the King, and had a meeting with the Deputy Secretary of the Royal Household and the Cabinet Secretary of Bhutan.
After completing his morning practice and meditation, Sunim had breakfast prepared by the Bhutan Nuns Foundation (BNF).
At 11:50 AM, a vehicle sent by the Royal Family arrived at the Bhutan Nuns Foundation. Sunim boarded the vehicle and headed to the residence of the Queen Mother. Queen Mother Tshering Yangdon, the mother of the current King and the Chairperson of BNF, is dedicated to various activities for the welfare of the country and its people.
Upon arrival at the residence, the Queen Mother and the Princess’s family warmly welcomed Sunim. Sunim reported on the pilot projects carried out in Bhutan so far and explained the future plans for Bhutan projects and the three phases of sustainable development projects.
After Sunim’s presentation, the Queen Mother and the Princess’s family expressed their admiration for the work JTS has done. The Princess then sought Sunim’s advice about the school she operates. In response to the Princess’s question, “What should be the main focus when running a school and educating?”, Sunim emphasized that education fostering creativity is more important than rote learning.
The Queen Mother requested that during the next visit to Bhutan, Sunim visit the Punakha region where she is carrying out a project, and the school run by the Princess. The conversation continued until nearly 3 PM, and Sunim concluded the meeting as he had a scheduled conference with the Cabinet Secretary.
Around 3:10 PM, Sunim had a meeting with the Cabinet Secretary and the Deputy Secretary of the King.
Sunim explained the third phase of the sustainable development project, which includes ‘improving living and production activities, increasing income through fruit and special crops, and primary processing through production cooperatives’. He discussed ways to effectively implement these in the field. In particular, he emphasized the importance of active participation from residents, preliminary surveys, on-site verification by practitioners, and budget planning by technicians.
Sunim also proposed that during the operation of the first project, the central government should be responsible for reviewing the budget and project content, while each dzongkhag (district) should handle the practical implementation and promotion. Accordingly, Sunim suggested arranging a discussion to concretize the field work procedures and checked the practical and administrative requirements.
After listening to Sunim’s presentation, the Deputy Secretary of the Royal Household expressed his gratitude to Sunim.
“We are grateful to you and everyone working with you. We are receiving reports of many changes and improvements happening in each village. Now, JTS doesn’t feel like a foreign organization anymore. It feels like a part of Bhutan. (Laughs) JTS’s projects are bringing practical benefits to people, and each dzongkhag is reporting improvement effects. The central government will actively support JTS’s projects.”
In gratitude, Sunim presented prayer beads and a Buddha portrait brought from Bodhgaya to the Cabinet Secretary and the Deputy Secretary.
Afterwards, Sunim moved to the Sanmaru Korean restaurant for dinner and then returned to his accommodation. This concludes the survey of Trongsa Dzongkhag in Bhutan. Based on this survey of Zhemgang and Trongsa Dzongkhags, full-scale sustainable development projects are expected to begin in Bhutan.
Tomorrow, Sunim will travel from Paro, Bhutan to Delhi, India, and is scheduled to meet with the executives of the Korean Association in India in the evening.
As there was no Dharma talk today, we’ll conclude this post by sharing a conversation between a questioner and Sunim from last Friday’s live Dharma Q&A broadcast.
I’m Uncomfortable with My Father-in-Law Pressuring Me to Have a Grandchild
“Elders say things out of their own concern, but it can be hurtful to young people. Don’t take it too seriously. You can think, ‘My father-in-law must be very lonely. That’s why he strongly wishes for a grandchild.’ It’s not a big deal.
Elderly people don’t change their thoughts when others explain things to them. It’s a characteristic of the elderly that when they get fixated on one thought, they don’t hear what others say, so they repeat what they’ve already said. It’s not just your father-in-law; most elderly people are like this. It’s to the point where you could jokingly say, ‘If you say it one more time, it’ll be the hundredth time.’ Because it’s a characteristic of the elderly to repeat the same things, it’s best to just think ‘that’s how it is’ and let it go. Listening to your question, I can understand that ‘the old man must be very lonely. That’s why he’s eagerly waiting for a grandchild.’ It’s not something that will be resolved by responding to every comment.
There are two ways to handle this. First, when your father-in-law talks about having a baby, you can smile and say, ‘It’s not working out even though we’re trying. We want it too, but as they say, life is in heaven’s hands, and birth and death are not up to us.’ Second, you can lightly brush it off by saying, ‘It’ll happen soon.’ It’s not something to take so seriously that you need to research what kind of answer to give. When adults see someone, they tend to say something, anything. If you ask children what’s most difficult for them, they’ll say it’s annoying that every adult they meet asks the same questions: ‘How old are you?’, ‘What’s your name?’, ‘What does your father do?’ But when we meet children, we’re not really curious about how old they are, what their name is, or what their father does, right? It’s just a way of conversing with children. When you meet a child, you don’t have much else to talk about. So the first thing you ask is ‘How old are you?’, the second is ‘What’s your name?’, and the third is ‘What does your father do?’ In fact, whether they’re four or five years old doesn’t really matter. If asked how old they are, they can just say ‘I’m seven years old’, if asked their name, they can say ‘My name is Gaeddong-i’, and if asked what their father does, they can answer anything. It’s because these are questions asked without any real interest.
When we meet people and need to say something but don’t have much to say, we use these typical phrases. If you weren’t married and met your father, unless there was something special to talk about, your father might ask, ‘When are you getting married?’ If you were unemployed, he might ask, ‘When are you going to get a job?’ This is the typical way people converse when they have nothing else to say. When people meet me, if they have their own concerns or something to say, they talk about that, but if they don’t have much to say, they ask, ‘Why did you become a monk?’ When such a question comes up, I immediately know. ‘They’re not really curious, they just don’t have much to say to me,’ so I don’t need to give a detailed explanation of why I became a monk. I can just smile gently. It’s just people’s way of conversing when they have nothing else to say.
When people meet and need to say something but don’t have any particular business, it’s most common to ask a married person, ‘When are you going to have a baby?’ It’s common to ask a single person, ‘When are you getting married?’ and to ask an unemployed person, ‘When are you going to get a job?’ These are typical conversation starters. You don’t need to take them to heart or be annoyed by them. Similarly, if your father’s repertoire is consistent, you can just understand it as ‘Father must be lonely. He’s waiting for a grandchild’ and respond appropriately. You can either give hope by saying ‘It’ll happen soon’ or say ‘It’s not working out well.’ Saying ‘We’re working hard to have a baby’ is even stranger, isn’t it? Where does the work lie in that? If your father says, ‘You need to be together to have a baby,’ you can just reply, ‘Yes, we’ll do that.’
Your father isn’t saying these things with any special meaning. With elderly people’s talk, the most important thing is to respond with ‘I understand’ right there. It’s not that your father-in-law has a problem; you’re being sensitive. Maybe you’re picking on your father-in-law’s words because you’re stressed about not being able to conceive easily. Your father-in-law’s talk falls into the category of what elderly people generally say.”
“But I’m not trying to compare, it’s just that my parents don’t do this, while my father-in-law has a very strong tendency to speak without considering others. He does this to his own son too.”
“What can you do about your father-in-law’s way of speaking? Everyone has a different personality, so why are you comparing him to your mother? If you compare and say, ‘This person is polite, why aren’t you?’, ‘This person speaks quietly, why is your voice so loud?’, how can you live in this world? People just have different personalities. It’s not the right attitude to think, ‘My father considers others, why does my father-in-law only think about himself?’ You should see it as ‘My father-in-law has a somewhat different personality from my father.’ The mindset of ‘My father-in-law is bad and my father is good’ is what we call discrimination. That’s a wrong way of thinking.”
“I see. Thank you.”
