Feb 5, 2025 – Second Day of Bhutan Trongsa Survey (Jangbi, Langthil, Yuling Chiwog)
Hello. This is the second day of our survey in Trongsa Dzongkhag, Bhutan. Today, we visited Wamring village in Jangbi Chiwog, Langthil Chiwog, and Yuling Chiwog of Langthil Gewog.
Before officially starting sustainable development projects in Bhutan, Sunim conducted a pilot project last year. This year, to expand its results to the entire Zhemgang and Trongsa regions, Sunim has been personally visiting all villages since the end of last year, engaging in conversations with residents. In December of last year and January of this year, he surveyed 40 gewogs in Zhemgang, and in February, he is visiting 25 gewogs in Trongsa.
After completing his morning practice and meditation, Sunim proofread manuscripts and had breakfast at a homestay in Langthil.
After breakfast, he departed from the lodging at 8 AM and arrived at Wamring village in Jangbi Gewog after about an hour’s journey. Jangbi Gewog is a village where indigenous people live. The residents had prepared a path with pine needles at the village entrance and were lined up waiting.
After paying respects at the temple and completing the welcoming ceremony, Sunim drank tea prepared by the village. While drinking tea, he spoke to Rinchen.
“I heard earlier that Phumzur village was the most difficult, but when I listened to the person who checks electricity meters, I found out that the electricity consumption per household in Wamring village is even lower. So I thought Phumzur and Wamring might be similar, or perhaps Wamring residents might be in an even more difficult situation. And now I’ve come to see it for myself. I wanted to visit this place anyway.”
Just as Sunim was about to start a conversation with the villagers, the Tshogpa approached and requested to offer a prayer together with the villagers, as it was the Bhutanese prince’s birthday. Sunim gladly accepted this, and after joining in a prayer celebrating the prince’s birthday, he began the main conversation with the residents.
“What kind of farming do you mainly do?”
“We grow corn and rice.”
“How much rice farming do you do?”
“About 100 acres.”
“Isn’t 100 acres for 24 households quite a lot?”
“Yes, but we lack water for agriculture.”
“Are the irrigation channels well-maintained?”
“Yes, we have pipes connected for irrigation, but there’s still a water shortage. We need to create additional irrigation channels from other water sources.”
“So, when you grow rice and corn, is it enough for self-sufficiency? Or do you sell some as well?”
“We don’t sell any. It’s just enough for consumption within the village.”
“Do you also grow special crops like oranges or cardamom?”
“No. We’ve just started with cardamom, but we don’t have money to buy seeds.”
Sunim also asked questions about their living conditions.
“How many households in Wamring village don’t have houses?”
“About four households.”
“How many households have poor living conditions, such as no partitions inside the house?”
“Some houses have partitions, some don’t. Some houses have dirt floors. For us, as long as the roof doesn’t leak and we can sleep, that’s enough.”
After gaining a general understanding of the village’s situation, Sunim explained the reason for his visit to Bhutan and the sustainable development project that JTS plans to implement.
“I am a Buddhist monk from Korea. Korea is very far from here. How did we, living so far apart, come to meet like this? We have a connection as all being disciples of Buddha. If we weren’t disciples of Buddha, it would have been difficult for us to meet like this.
I came here at the invitation of the King. Bhutan’s national policy is to preserve the natural environment and maintain traditional culture. That’s why you wear traditional clothes, build houses in the traditional style, and maintain the Buddhist faith you’ve believed in for a long time. However, even while preserving tradition, life shouldn’t be too inconvenient. Human civilization is developing in an increasingly convenient direction. In this flow, we need to maintain tradition while also achieving convenience.
In Bhutan too, cities like Thimphu mostly have apartments with modern facilities. As a result, nowadays, grandchildren living in cities don’t like to come to the countryside. When they visit their grandmother’s house in the countryside, there’s smoke from the fire inside the room, there are no partitions in the room so they don’t have their own space, and the toilet is inconvenient. That’s why they’re reluctant to visit their grandmother’s house, right? (Laughter)
We can improve your living environment to make it more convenient and cleaner than it is now. Those without houses need to build them, and those with houses but lacking proper facilities need to improve them. If there are no partitions inside the house, we need to install them. We should have at least three separate rooms – one for grandparents, one for the young couple, and one for children. The kitchen should also be improved to prevent smoke. These days, since rice is cooked with electricity, it’s good to make shelves to put utensils on and cook while standing. Placing shelves in the room also allows for more space as items don’t need to be placed on the floor. Dishes should be neatly arranged on shelves, not on the floor. Even if you’re not rich or don’t have a big house, your home should be convenient. Wouldn’t it be good to make it that way?”
“Yes, we’d like to do that.”
“That’s why JTS wants to support house repairs. However, firstly, it seems you don’t know how best to do this. So, we’ll start by renovating one house in each village as an example. Then you can follow that example. Secondly, materials are needed to repair houses. Not only materials but also skills and tools are necessary. If you have tools like hammers and saws, and if you learn repair skills yourselves, you can continue to improve your houses in the future. You may not be able to build as well as a carpenter, but you can make your life a bit more convenient. You can also make the toilet a bit cleaner. If the house floor is made of dirt, it’s good to make the sleeping area with a wooden floor and the kitchen floor with cement. It would be more hygienic to arrange the area outside where the water tap is with cement too. Let’s try a movement to improve living conditions in this way.
Also, if the village roads are made of dirt, children might slip when walking, so paving them with cement would make them easier to walk on. If irrigation channels are made of dirt, water can easily be lost, so it’s good to make them with cement. These days, water usage has increased, often resulting in a shortage of drinking water. In Lebati Gewog, we once connected pipes from far away to supply drinking water. Let’s try to make our village a bit more livable like this. Don’t just wait for the government to do it; if you say you’ll do it yourselves, JTS will support the necessary materials.
If you apply, we first need to check if it’s really necessary, and secondly, if you can do it yourselves. Once the check is complete, we’ll support the materials. It’s been about a year since we started this pilot project. You know Napji Gewog, right?”
“Yes.”
“In Napji Chiwog, they made irrigation channels with cement, and they’re continuing to work on additional projects. In Korphu Chiwog, there was a section where it was difficult for cars to climb due to the steep slope, so they paved part of the road with cement to allow vehicles to pass smoothly. In Nimshong Chiwog, when a head of household passed away while building a house, the villagers helped complete it together. In Phumzur Chiwog, they repaired one house and made shelves in the kitchen. In Lhebaty Chiwog, they installed water taps in every house by bringing water from 7km away.
All these things were accomplished by the residents themselves. I’ve come to tell you to do these things together. (Laughter) If you don’t need it, you don’t have to do it. But if you say, ‘We need this. We’ll do it,’ we’ll review it and then provide support. However, we can’t accept requests like ‘Please do this for us.’ You should make such requests to the government.
“Even if you don’t go all the way to Australia, you should live well right here in our village. Even if you can’t become rich, you should be able to live cleanly and comfortably. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it for us, we need to do it ourselves. Let’s make our homes and village cleaner and more pleasant with our own hands. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Then, are you willing to give it a try?”
“Yes.”
“If there’s anything else you need besides what I’ve mentioned, please let me know. I’ve visited every village in the Zhemgang region. While visiting various villages, I went inside houses and even stayed overnight in some places. Through this, I personally experienced what aspects were inconvenient. So, what I’ve told you today isn’t just ideas, but things I felt were actually necessary after visiting many villages.”
After Sunim finished speaking, the district officer asked a question.
“From the water source to the fields is a 2km distance, but due to budget constraints, we’ve only installed pipe irrigation for 1km. If you could provide additional pipes, we could complete the remaining section. In the past, we made irrigation channels with cement, but they’ve all been damaged, so we’re now reinstalling them with pipes. Would you be able to support this?”
“We have a few principles when it comes to providing support. First, it should make residents’ lives more convenient. Second, it shouldn’t harm the environment. Third, it should be maintainable. The residents should be able to repair it themselves.
We try to use materials produced in Bhutan as much as possible. We acknowledge that pipes are necessary for clean drinking water. However, pipes aren’t absolutely necessary for irrigation channels. Pipes need to be 100% imported from abroad, but cement is produced in Bhutan. Therefore, we can only support cement for irrigation channels.”
“Sunim, this area is geographically prone to frequent landslides. When landslides occur, cement structures break, but pipes are relatively less damaged.”
“Yes, I acknowledge the efficiency of pipes. There were many requests for pipe support in Zhemgang as well. However, if we were to support pipes for all irrigation channels in Zhemgang and Trongsa, the demand would be too high. You can apply for pipe installation through government projects, but JTS’s principle is to use cement produced in Bhutan.
Our support criteria only cover work that residents can do themselves. For example, if road paving requires an excavator or professional technicians, that’s the government’s job. But we can support small tasks that residents can do themselves. This project is not about replacing the government’s responsibilities. We’re helping with small areas that the government can’t support. So we need to clearly distinguish the nature of the work.
For instance, if you want to build a fence using steel pipes and wire mesh, you should seek government support. But if you’re going to use wooden posts and barbed wire, that’s a project we can support. If there are many animals, especially wild boars, you need to install the bottom of the fence densely to prevent them from digging underneath. If there are many animals like deer that jump over, you can raise the fence height to about 2m. However, surrounding the entire mountain with wire mesh is a costly project, so such large-scale projects should receive government support.
I want to emphasize again that JTS projects are not government projects. We support cases where individuals should bear the cost but can’t due to economic difficulties.” 
Finally, a villager asked a question.
“When we built the temple in the 1980s, we first made the first floor, but there was no iron roof at that time. So the wooden pillars rotted in the rain for several years, and when we built the upper floor on that condition, the structure weakened and we have to keep repairing it. Can you support repairing the temple as well?”
“If houses are better than the temple, we should repair the temple first, but if houses are worse than the temple, we should fix the houses first. (Laughs)
From what I see, you need to fix your houses first. We live in our houses every day, while we use the temple occasionally. So it’s right to fix the houses first, then repair the temple later. Originally, this budget was donated by Korean Buddhists to build temples. However, I believe people come before temples, so I want to use it to repair houses. Would I come all the way to Bhutan to build temples? (Laughs) I’ll help you fix your houses, and when you’re better off, you can gather your strength to repair the temple. They say you gain merit by contributing to temple construction, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you should receive the merit. I’ll fix your houses. (Laughs) You want to repair the temple first even if you don’t fix your houses, right? That sentiment is admirable. But you should first improve your houses, make roads, secure water, improve farming conditions, prevent animals from entering, and then repair the temple. The Buddha’s teachings say, ‘Bodhisattvas should relieve the suffering of sentient beings.’ So I’ll help you. And you repair the temple. I think this is the right order.”
After the conversation, the residents of Wamling village, despite their modest means, offered agricultural products they had grown to Sunim with all their sincerity. Sunim accepted the villagers’ warm hearts and returned the offerings so that the residents could share and eat them.
“Everyone, you’ve offered so much, but I’ll give it back to you. When you make offerings to the Buddha, does the Buddha eat them directly, or do you take them down and eat them?”
“We take them down and eat them. (Laughs)”
“That’s right. You’ve offered them to me, so now you can take them and eat. I’ll also make a small offering to you.”
Sunim handed over a donation to the Tshogpa.
“Please use this donation for the residents of Wamling village.”
Sunim, knowing that the Wamling residents were in more difficult circumstances than other areas, emphasized that the donation should go to those who really needed it. At that moment, one villager stood up and carefully said:
“Sunim, we’re sorry we couldn’t offer you enough food for your long journey.”
Sunim smiled and replied:
“Thank you. I received plenty. (Laughs)”
After talking with the residents for about an hour, Sunim stood up to visit the homes of the poorest families in Wamling village.
Meanwhile, outside the Wamling temple, residents from Jangbi Chiwog were sitting, having come to pray.
Sunim asked the Tshogpa:
“Why are these people sitting here instead of joining the conversation time?”
“They are all elderly and have come to pray.”
Sunim approached the elderly, making eye contact with each one and asking in detail:
“Ah~, let’s try this. Do you have teeth? Can you hear well?” 
Most of them had no teeth, and many had difficulty hearing. Sunim said with a smile:
“Looks like there’s a lot to do. (Laughs)”
Sunim asked the Trongsa planning officer to conduct a detailed survey of each village, including information on people without teeth, those with hearing difficulties, those without homes, and whether wood and land were available for those without homes.
Afterward, guided by the Tshogpa, they headed to a temporary shelter for the extremely poor who had no homes.
After hearing that an elderly couple was temporarily staying with their youngest daughter because they couldn’t find a place to live, Sunim inspected their living quarters. He then met and talked with a young couple who were staying at a neighbor’s house because they had no home of their own.
Both families had passed on their original homes to other family members and were unable to secure new homes for themselves. Sunim promised to support them if they were willing to make their own efforts. Then he asked the Tshogpa:
“Tshogpa, JTS volunteers stayed in Phumzur village to carry out projects. They repaired a house, improved a kitchen, and installed partitions. They also built a new public toilet in front of the temple because the whole village lacked toilets. Have you visited Phumzur village since then?”
The Tshogpa replied with a bright smile:
“Yes, Sunim. I have been there. Compared to before, it has changed like the difference between heaven and earth. Thank you.”
At 11:30 AM, they left Wangling village and departed for Langthil Gewog. They had lunch at a restaurant while on the move.
At 1:30 PM, upon arriving at Langthil Gewog, the Trongsa Governor was waiting to accompany them on the field survey. Villagers were also lined up at the entrance of the temple to welcome Sunim. After blessing each person one by one, Sunim moved to the space prepared for dialogue with the residents.
Sunim began a conversation with the residents of Langthil village, accompanied by the Trongsa Governor.
“What kind of farming is mainly done in Langthil Gewog?”
“We grow rice and corn.”
“What is the main source of income for the residents?”
“There isn’t much fruit or cardamom farming here, so most people go outside to work.”
This was the first village among those surveyed so far where external labor was the main source of income. Sunim continued his questions.
“Is it possible to be self-sufficient in food through farming alone?”
“We are about 50% self-sufficient, and we make up for the shortfall with daily wages.”
“So, do the people of Langthil Gewog do more labor than farming?”
“Yes, because farming alone is not enough.”
“What kind of labor do you mainly do?”
“We work in construction.”
“How does the standard of living in Langthil Gewog compare to other villages?”
“It’s average. We do grow rice, but there’s a lot of damage from animals.”
“It seems like there would be less animal damage here since the fields are below the road, isn’t that right?”
“The damage from wild boars and monkeys is severe.”
Sunim continued his questions while observing the residents’ attire.
“When I go to Phumzur or Wamling village, I can immediately sense the difficult circumstances just by looking at people’s clothes, but that’s not the case here. From the outside, your lives seem fine, but according to the Tshogpa, you don’t farm much.”
“We washed up and put on our best clothes to meet you, Sunim. (Laughs)”
“I see. Thank you. (Laughs)” 
“But when I look down from above, there seems to be quite a lot of rice fields. Why do you say there’s little cultivated land? In Wamling, 24 households cultivate 125 acres. But here, with 70 households, you only have 30 acres?”
“In most other gewogs, the land is owned by the gewog people, but in Langthil Gewog, most of the land belongs to the royal family and people from the Bumthang region.”
“Then, in the case of tenant farming, how do the owners and workers divide the harvest?”
“In the past, it was 50-50, but these days, some owners give 70% to the workers and keep 30% for themselves.”
“Does the owner provide seeds or fertilizer?”
“No, they don’t provide anything. In fact, we have to deliver the owner’s share of the harvest to them. (Laughs) When we calculate it, we don’t even make enough to cover labor costs. (Laughs)”
As the conversation continued, the residents became more candid, and the atmosphere was not heavy but rather cheerful.
“Then you must need facilities like irrigation canals. Does the owner provide these, or do the farmers have to do it themselves?”
“The farmers have to do it themselves.”
“So farming is just enough to solve food issues, but you need cash to buy clothes and educate your children. Other villages grow oranges or cardamom. How do you earn and use money?”
“There are two ways. One is that husbands go out to work and earn money, and the other is that children working abroad send living expenses.”
“Out of the 70 households in this village, how many don’t have houses?”
“There are no households without houses.”
“Then how many households have houses but lack partitions or have poor facilities?”
“About 10 households.”
“Do you all cook rice with electricity here?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Do you have shelves inside the house to put things on?”
“These days, most people live neatly organized, so we have shelves.”
“Do you sit or stand when working in the kitchen?”
“We stand. The old kitchen is kept outside and used for making alcohol. (Laughs)”
“Are the toilets clean?”
“Yes, we keep them clean. (Laughs)”
Although it was thought that their lives would be impoverished due to lack of assets, the actual conversation revealed that their economic difficulties were not as severe as expected.
“The Tshogpa said the village has almost no income, but you do labor or receive money from abroad. (Laughs)”
“Yes, but we have a water problem. We have a water source, but no water tank.”
“Is it because you use a lot of water? Do you wash your hair two or three times a day?”
“That’s part of it, but we do lack water.”
“Raise your hand if you have a washing machine.”
“Almost every household has one.”
“If you have a washing machine, you use a lot of water. It seems Langthil has received a lot of government support because it’s close to Trongsa Dzong. But what we’re trying to do is not a government project. If we provide the materials, can the residents do the construction themselves? For example, if each household pays to hire workers, we can’t proceed with this project. This project is carried out in a way where residents solve what they need themselves.”
“Yes, if you provide the materials, we will do it ourselves.”
“But from what I see, you seem to be able to maintain a basic life as you are now. Wouldn’t it be better to maintain this on your own and give support opportunities to those who are really struggling?”
“Sunim, we may look fine on the outside with nice clothes, but most of us are living on loans. We have a lot of money to pay back every month. People in Wamling village, who look poorer, actually have many who save money every month by growing cardamom. (Laughs)”
The Langthil residents answered cheerfully.
“I understand. So, are you sure you can do it yourself if we just provide the materials?”
“Yes, if you support us, we will do the labor ourselves.”
“Our principles are, first, to support what the residents need. Second, we aim to minimize the use of chemical products to preserve the environment. While we must use pipes for clean drinking water, irrigation channels should be made of cement.”
Sunim concluded his conversation with the residents of Rangtil Chiwog after explaining JTS’s support principles and checking on the health of the elderly.
At 2:40 PM, the group departed for Yuling Chiwog, the last site to be surveyed today. Soon, white smoke could be seen rising in the distance.
As they approached the village, a large and majestic building came into view. This was the Yungdrung Choling Palace, built around 1839 by the governor of Trongsa. This place is one of the sacred sites where the whole-body relic of Terton Pema Lingpa, a great master of the 15th century and an ancestor of the Bhutanese monarchy, is enshrined. His body remained intact after entering Nirvana during his practice, becoming a Buddha statue.
At the entrance of the palace, villagers were lined up waiting for Sunim. They welcomed him by burning pine needles to create smoke, and the Tshogpa led the way to greet Sunim.
Sunim blessed the villagers by placing his hand on their heads and followed the Tshogpa’s guidance into the palace.
The stairs leading up to the palace were almost vertical. After years of use by many people, the steps had become smooth and slippery, as if coated with candle wax.
After paying respects in the palace’s shrine, Sunim began a conversation with the villagers. The Tshogpa first explained the current situation of the village, and then Sunim engaged in a dialogue with the residents.
“JTS projects are divided into two main categories. First, improving living conditions, and second, enhancing production facilities.
Improving living conditions involves upgrading our homes and villages. We plan to focus on farming during the busy agricultural season and improve living facilities during the off-season. Enhancing production facilities and increasing yields will take some time, but it’s also important to improve farming methods. For example, we need to consider ways to provide more fertilizer to the soil, create communal nurseries instead of individual ones, methods to increase yield and quality, and selecting appropriate crops for double cropping.
When agricultural products are produced and shipped all at once, prices drop. Therefore, we need to research methods for early harvesting or creating storage facilities for later shipping. It’s also important to discover new fruit crops that can generate income besides oranges and cardamom.
If we continue these efforts, gradual changes will occur, creating a much better living environment than we have now. If everyone leaves for Australia or Thimphu to make money, they’ll have to live apart from their families. Let’s create a village where we can live happily in this region, even if we don’t become very wealthy.
With that in mind, please propose to JTS if you or your village needs anything. However, this project is not about JTS doing everything for you. If you gather, discuss, and come up with ideas to request, JTS will review and support them.
Through these projects, we aim not only to promote economic growth but also to strengthen the residents’ self-governance capabilities. The goal is for us to make our village a better place on our own, rather than relying on the government.”
A villager shared a concern:
“We tried planting avocados, but they all died.”
Sunim nodded and said:
“It doesn’t work to just plant any crop. An expert needs to analyze whether the climate and soil are suitable first. For example, if you plant oranges here, the yield will be lower than in the southern regions. Similarly, we need to choose crops that are suitable for the environment of Yuling Chiwog.”
Sunim also suggested that the residents consider future agricultural directions together.
“When the Gelephu new town is developed, there will be a high demand for vegetables. Therefore, expanding vegetable farming could be a good approach for the future. Let’s discuss this with the governor as well.”
At this point, a villager appealed to the governor of Trongsa:
“Governor, there are too many monkeys in the village. Monkeys are particularly problematic compared to other animals. When about 100 of them attack the village in groups, the damage is severe. We don’t know how to solve this problem.”
After a moment of thought, the governor made a joking suggestion:
“How about catching all the monkeys and having each household raise one? Wouldn’t that reduce their numbers?”
Sunim laughed and said:
“It seems the main topic of today’s conversation in Yuling village is ‘Let’s raise monkeys.’ (Everyone laughs)”
Sunim concluded the conversation with the villagers in a cheerful manner, mixing in jokes. After the dialogue, the villagers greeted him:
“Thank you for coming such a long way, Sunim. It was a truly wonderful time.”
After finishing the conversation with the residents, Sunim discussed with the governor and administrators how to effectively operate the project.
Afterwards, the day’s schedule was completed, and the group moved to their accommodation in Rangtil. By the time they arrived at the lodging, it was almost 6 PM. Sunim washed up, took care of some work, and wrapped up the day at the accommodation.
Tomorrow, they plan to survey Dangdung Chiwog in Rangtil Gewog before moving to Draagteng Gewog.
As there was no Dharma talk today, we’ll conclude with a conversation between Sunim and a questioner from the Friday Dharma Q&A held on January 24th.
How Should I Deal with People Who Bully Me?
“First, if you feel that one person is constantly bullying you, there’s a 50-50 chance that the problem lies with that person or with you. In such cases, you need to consider whether that person is objectively bullying you, or if you’re overinterpreting their actions and feeling victimized. Second, if you feel that two people are bullying you – that is, this person is bullying you here, and that person is bullying you there – the probability is higher that the cause lies with you rather than with them. Third, if you feel that all three people around you are bullying you, in this case, the likelihood that the problem’s source is with you rather than with those people is much higher. In other words, if only one person seems unpleasant, the cause of the problem could be split evenly, but if two people seem unpleasant, the probability that the problem lies with you increases to two-thirds, and if three people seem unpleasant, the probability that the problem lies with you rises to three-quarters.
While you might feel that someone is bullying you, it’s not always accurate to definitively label it as bullying. Of course, someone might hit you on the head as they pass by or insult you, but these are common occurrences that can happen to anyone in life. It would be nice if such things didn’t happen, but they can occur from time to time as we go through life.
In life, we fight, hit, get hit, insult, and get insulted. Of course, it might feel bad at the moment, but generally, after a good night’s sleep, we feel better. Moreover, if someone has practiced a lot of mindfulness, they can remain calm and accept being hit or insulted without being greatly shaken. But even without such practice, if someone is mentally strong, they might feel bad momentarily when hit or insulted, but they’ll be fine again after a few days. However, if someone has slight mental issues, when others hit them, insult them, or steal from them, it leaves a deep wound and causes tremendous suffering. Instead of disappearing after a day or two, the wound grows larger. Anger builds up in their heart, and they might even start thinking about revenge.
In the questioner’s case, initially, one person bullied you at school, and if that happened, you should have told your parents or teachers to improve the situation. As time passes, that memory should gradually weaken, but if it still troubles the questioner’s life until now, it has already become a trauma. The past wound still remains with the questioner.
If the same problem repeats with other people, there could be two reasons. First, the questioner might be mentally weak and overly sensitive to others’ bullying. You might be feeling it more strongly than the actual degree of bullying. This trauma has caused difficulties in relationships with others. If that friend is still contacting or trying to meet, causing continued distress, the relationship with that friend should be cut off first. This is because the questioner is not capable of handling it.
If meeting with that friend is already a thing of the past and exists only in memory, then treatment for trauma is necessary. The most important aspect of trauma treatment is realizing that what has already passed no longer exists. What has passed is just a recorded memory from the past, not current reality. Whenever that memory comes up, you need to change your perspective by thinking, ‘This is an illusion.’
However, if the memory persists in your mind no matter how much you think ‘This is an illusion,’ then you need to think of something else. When thoughts of that friend arise, change the channel by running in the yard or watching television. This is a temporary solution to escape from that moment.
A more fundamental solution is to recognize that what has already passed no longer exists. The past is just in our memory and doesn’t actually exist. In Buddhist terms, it’s empty (空). What has already passed is no longer there. You need to keep this in mind.
And if problems arise in relationships with others, don’t attribute the cause solely to that person. The world is a place where various things happen – people insult, cheat, betray, and so on. It would be nice if there were no germs in the world, but germs always exist. However, we can’t live only in a sterile state where all germs are eliminated. Even with germs present, we don’t have problems because we have immunity. Otherwise, we’d have to live in a glass room. When driving, we can’t just get angry every time another car suddenly stops or changes lanes. We need to drive considering such situations. We should maintain a certain distance from the car in front in preparation for sudden stops, and drive expecting that cars might suddenly cut in. Thinking ‘Why does this happen?’ every time an accident occurs stems from having too much of a victim mentality. It’s necessary to change your perspective to ‘The cause of the problem lies with me.’
Since the questioner said you are receiving treatment at a hospital, it’s important to continue the treatment and consult with the doctor a bit more, rather than judging whether it’s effective or not. And you need to think that the past that has gone by no longer exists. Whenever thoughts of the past arise, you need to make an effort to turn them around, thinking ‘This is an illusion.’ If even that doesn’t work, you need to redirect your thoughts in a different direction.
Of course, it would be nice if these things didn’t happen, but we need to accept the fact that such people can exist. We can’t kill all bad people, nor can we send them all to prison or punish them. Just as we can’t eliminate all germs, we have to live in this world where such people exist. And if such a situation objectively becomes too serious, we need to respond appropriately, like taking antibiotics or getting an injection. It’s important to have this perspective.”
“Yes, I agree with what you said about there being traffic rules but also people who don’t follow them. I don’t perfectly follow traffic laws when I drive either. In that sense, I think I’ve been too caught up in the past. From now on, I’ll try to practice being awake in the present.”
“Is that friend who used to hit you and take your things still hitting you and taking your things now?”
“I don’t have occasions to meet that friend these days.”
“At that time, you might have been troubled because that friend hit you and took your things. But now, who is the reason for your suffering?”
“It seems I’m suffering because of my own memories, not because of anyone else.”
“Whose memories are those?”
“They are my memories.”
“Then who is causing your suffering now?”
“It seems I’m causing my own suffering.”
“If you want to keep suffering, you can continue to suffer. But if you don’t want to suffer now, even when such thoughts come, you need to free yourself from those memories by thinking ‘This is a thing of the past.’ If that friend is still hitting you and taking your things now, you should report it to the police and take measures. If not, then it’s not that friend’s problem in the current situation. Now it’s not that friend’s problem, but your problem. Whether that friend lives or dies has nothing to do with your problem.
Let’s say someone was kidnapped by gangsters. The gangsters told that person to do bad things, and when he refused, they forcibly injected him with drugs. The person resisted, saying he didn’t want to take drugs, but eventually, he was forcibly injected and became addicted to drugs. Finally, he was rescued by the police and returned home. When that person returned home, would he still have drug addiction symptoms or not?”
“He would still have symptoms.”
“If that person continues to use drugs even after returning home, would he be punished? Or would the gangsters who forcibly injected him with drugs in the past be punished?”
“The person himself would be punished.”
“Just like that, no matter how it started, it has now become his problem. So you need to think, ‘This is my problem.’ If you keep thinking it’s that person’s problem, there’s no solution. But if you accept it as your problem, you can solve it. Because now, you are tormenting yourself. You’re tormenting yourself by clinging to past memories. Now, it’s not that person tormenting you. You’re doing the foolish act of tormenting yourself. The past is already gone. You need to keep thinking that it’s just a memory. So you shouldn’t be trapped by that memory.”
“The memories of the past come up like a habit. What should I do?”
“Because it comes up like a habit, there’s no way to prevent it. How can you do anything when it comes up without you knowing? So whenever past memories come up, you need to keep realizing, ‘This is an illusion. This is a foolish thought.’ If it’s severe, you need to take medication. Taking medication doesn’t prevent past memories from coming up, but it makes them come up a little less.”
“Thank you. I understand well.”
