Nov 1, 2024 – Arrived in Korea, Happy Dialogue (8) Wonju
Hello. Today is the eighth Dharma Q&A lecture of the 2024 Happy Dialogue series, taking place in Wonju, Gangwon Province.
Sunim completed his 5-day visit to Bhutan and departed from Paro Airport at 4:20 PM local time yesterday. After transiting through Bangkok Airport, he took a short nap on the overnight flight. He arrived at Incheon Airport at 6:00 AM Korean time.
He went directly to the Seoul Jungto Center to unpack and rest. At 3:00 PM, he had a meeting with Park Gena, the representative of JTS, in the reception room on the 10th floor of the Jungto Social and Cultural Center.
Park Gena reported on the progress of purchasing a total of 6.36 million bars of hand soap and laundry soap to be donated to the Rohingya refugee camps after returning from a 10-day trip to Bangladesh. Through a challenging process, they were able to purchase high-quality soap at a very low price. Sunim commended Park Gena for her hard work.
Following this, they discussed follow-up projects after the completion ceremony of a newly constructed school in the Turkey-Syria border region, which had collapsed due to an earthquake on the 9th. They talked about various topics, including a literacy campaign for young adults who are still illiterate due to the ongoing war of over 10 years, an online education project for children who cannot attend school due to becoming refugees, and projects to restore schools damaged by the earthquake.
There were many agenda items to discuss, but due to time constraints, they decided to continue the discussion over the weekend and concluded the meeting at 4:00 PM.
Sunim then moved to the auditorium on the 9th floor to greet the participants of the ‘2024 Women’s INEB Jungto Society Study Tour’.
Previously, the INEB Jungto Society Study Tour program was mainly conducted for monks from Southeast Asia. This time, for the first time, they decided to accept applications only from bhikkhunis and female activists for the INEB Jungto Society Study Tour.
A total of 11 female activists from 5 countries participated: 3 from Ladakh, India, 2 from Sri Lanka, 2 from Bhutan, 1 from China, and 3 from Thailand. The participants had just finished an introduction to the history of Korean Buddhism and Jungto Society. They each introduced themselves, and Sunim greeted them.
“Did you listen well to the explanation about the history of Korean Buddhism?”
“Yes!”
“And did you also listen well to the explanation about Jungto Society?”
“Yes!”
“I hope you have a lot of conversations during your week-long stay in Korea. When you come to Dubuk Retreat Center where I live in three days, we will have time to talk then.”
Sunim gave the participants some pocket money to buy snacks or drinks during their stay in Korea.
“Thank you.”
After greeting them, Sunim immediately got in the car and left Seoul for Wonju to give a lecture.
Today is the first offline Dharma Q&A in Gangwon Province since the COVID-19 pandemic. There were concerns about heavy traffic due to many people traveling to Gangwon Province during the autumn foliage season, but the roads were not as congested as expected, allowing Sunim to safely arrive in Wonju at 7:00 PM.
After parking the car in the park in front of the lecture hall and having kimbap for dinner, Sunim entered the lecture hall.
Today’s lecture is being held in the main auditorium of the Korea Mine Rehabilitation and Mineral Resources Corporation headquarters. Many citizens were lining up to enter and attend the lecture. Numerous volunteers from the Wonju Happiness Center were warmly welcoming the citizens who came to the lecture hall from various places.
From 7:10 PM, Sunim expressed his gratitude to the team leader of the corporation and the president of the Buddhist association who helped provide the lecture hall for free in the waiting room next to the lecture hall. After taking commemorative photos, employees from the Korea National Open University content production team came to have tea with Sunim.
“We have about 80,000 students enrolled in our Open University. When we surveyed all the students, there was an overwhelming desire to hear a lecture from Venerable Pomnyun Sunim. That’s why we came to request a lecture from you.”
“I’ve never even been to a university. Should I enroll in the Open University and get a college degree?”
“We would be truly honored if you did.” (Laughter)
“Right now, about 600,000 school-age children in Syria cannot attend school at all due to the large number of refugees created. So I suggested to the interim government leader of Syria that we open an online school to eradicate illiteracy. But it seems that the Syrian people can’t even imagine what an online school is. Since the Open University also has an online school system, I need your advice.”
“Isn’t it dangerous with so many refugees?”
“If you think that way, South Korea is actually the most dangerous right now. The current situation is such that it wouldn’t be surprising if war broke out tomorrow, right?”
As they were talking, it was time to start the lecture. Just before 7:30 PM, they moved together to the lecture hall.
In the lecture hall, as a pre-performance, a singing club from Yonsei University Mirae Campus was performing exciting songs.
Following this, they watched a video of Sunim’s visit to the Turkey-Syria border region last month, which had suffered greatly from earthquake damage and war, before starting the Dharma Q&A lecture.
With about 400 people filling the seats, Sunim gave his opening remarks.
“The weather has turned chilly. You must be busy going home to rest after work, but thank you for participating.”
You may remember that in early February last year, an earthquake struck Türkiye, causing extensive damage to Türkiye and the northern region of neighboring Syria, resulting in tens of thousands of deaths. A large school with 3,500 students was completely destroyed, killing 124 students and 9 teachers.
In this difficult situation, JTS decided to build this school as a symbol of hope for the residents. To inspire hope that the Syrian people could rise again, just as this building would stand, JTS collaborated with the White Helmets, a Syrian civil defense organization, to construct a school for 4,000 students in just one year. (Applause from everyone)
Something That Brings More Glory to South Korea Than K-Dramas and K-Pop
When you go to a place like this, you can see how great the damage from war is. Syria has been in a state of ceasefire for 10 years since the war began. However, our country has been in a state of ceasefire for over 70 years since the war, and the situation between North and South Korea is escalating to the point where war could break out at any time. Some of you might think lightly, ”Let’s just have a war.’ That’s truly a foolish thought. War should never occur under any circumstances. It’s not about winning or losing. The Korean peninsula has limited land, a large population, and both North and South Korea possess an enormous amount of weapons of mass destruction. In particular, South Korea’s conventional weapons, such as explosives, are of the highest technology in the world. Even the current war between Ukraine and Russia couldn’t continue without the explosive support from South and North Korea. Strictly speaking, we all indirectly become war criminals. We have become citizens who continue to supply weapons that enable war. Some people proudly boast about Korea making a lot of money by producing excellent tanks and other weapons, but from a long-term historical perspective, this is nothing to be proud of. What’s there to be proud of in making money by selling weapons that kill people?
The damage caused by war is beyond description. In Syria, 3.5 million refugees are living in tent camps without any hope, and 600,000 children are spending their days without even being able to go near a school. This is not someone else’s problem.
To prevent war from occurring again on the Korean peninsula, we must help those suffering from war while praying for peace. At the same time, we need to realize how fortunate we are in our current environment. We shouldn’t just enjoy our own happiness, but also do something to help those experiencing misfortune, even if it’s just a little. If South Korea were to allocate just 1% of its national budget to support the international community, it could do something that brings more glory to the country than K-dramas and K-pop.
“When you travel the world, you’ll find that expectations for South Korea are incredibly high. However, the people living in South Korea are crying out in distress. South Korea’s psychological happiness index ranks among the lowest in the world. We have well-built airports, good roads, and even better restrooms, yet people live with frowns as if they’re about to die. That’s why the Happiness School was created. Material possessions alone cannot lead to happiness. While material things are necessary, we must also manage our minds and let go of greed, impatience, and stubbornness. Only then can individuals be happy, families harmonious, and social conflicts reduced, leading to a peaceful nation. The Happiness School is a national movement to increase the happiness level of South Korean citizens.”
Following this, five people who had submitted questions in advance engaged in a dialogue with Sunim, after which impromptu questions were taken from the audience. Over the course of two hours, eight people asked Sunim questions. One of them expressed frustration about having to perform ancestral rites ten times a year, which were inherited from their parents-in-law, stating that they no longer wished to continue this practice.
Ten Ancestral Rites a Year, I Don’t Want to Perform Them Anymore
“So you were happy to receive the property, but you don’t want to perform the ancestral rites. It’s like wanting to go to heaven without creating the conditions for it. Such a method doesn’t exist. Didn’t you and your parents-in-law make an agreement that they would pass down the house if you performed all the ancestral rites in the future?”
“We also contributed some money.”
“In any case, you benefited from it, didn’t you?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“You agreed to perform the rites with the intention of receiving money, but now that you’re actually doing it, you’re finding it difficult. It’s similar to children wanting to go to a good university but not wanting to study, so they pray to Buddha to get them into a good school when it’s time for college admissions. The solution is simple. Return the property to your parents-in-law, and you can start going to church tomorrow. Churches don’t allow ancestral rites, so even if you want to perform them, you can’t. No matter how much you might want to perform the rites, they’ll scold you saying you’ll go to hell, so you don’t have to do them. There are various ways. If your father-in-law says anything, you can just say you’re going to church now.”
“I’ve tried that before. My sister-in-law is a devout Christian, so I went to church with her, but I couldn’t adapt to it. I couldn’t get used to people crying during passionate prayers, and I found it hard to endure the pastor’s long sermons.”
“In that case, you should perform the ancestral rites. Your parents-in-law agreed to pass down the property to you instead of your husband’s older brother on the condition that you perform the rites. If you received the property on the condition of performing the rites, isn’t it courteous to perform them without complaining until your parents-in-law pass away?”
“You’re right. I’ll perform them diligently.”
“You shouldn’t keep objecting to what you’ve agreed to. If you agreed to perform the rites 10 times, you should do it 10 times. Even if your father-in-law says, ‘It’s hard, so just do it 6 times,’ you should respond, ‘No, Father. I made a promise, so I’ll perform all 10 times.’ This is how relationships improve. However, it’s okay to prepare a bit less food. The elders know that there’s no one to eat the ritual food. If they express disappointment about the modest food preparation, you can say, ‘I’m sorry, Father. It’s hard to prepare food after coming back from work, but I’m sure the ancestors will understand.’ Getting angry and saying, ‘How can I prepare all this food that no one eats when I’m so busy and tired?’ is like throwing away your own good fortune. Instead, say, ‘Father, I’m sorry. I should have prepared it better, but I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I could only prepare a few dishes,’ and move on. If your father-in-law says, ‘You’re having a hard time, so let’s just perform the rites for immediate family members except on holidays, and combine the rest,’ for about two years, you should say, ‘No, we must perform all the rites.’ Then later, pretend to give in and say, ‘If that’s what you want, Father, we’ll do as you say.’ This way, you’ll be accumulating good fortune.
After all, we have to prepare food when we have parties in our lives anyway. It becomes burdensome because you keep thinking of it as ancestral rites. Try thinking of it as a family party where you prepare traditional food. Except for placing the food on the altar and then taking it down to eat, it’s no different from having a party. Try to change your perspective positively like this. Even if you don’t go as far as thinking that you’ll receive blessings for performing the rites, just changing your mindset to be more positive will make you feel better, and you’ll appear more lovable to those around you. Then your parents-in-law will always brag about their daughter-in-law when they go out. They’ll overlook it if you fall short in other areas.
“You need to change your perspective a bit. It seems like you’re tired of cooking, but if you’re cooking for 50 people every day, what’s so difficult about cooking for a few more spirits? If someone asks, ‘Isn’t it tiring to perform so many ancestral rites?’ you should be able to casually respond, ‘It’s fine. Since I cook for 50 people daily, preparing food for two more spirits is no trouble at all.’ Having such a positive mindset will bring you good fortune. It’s not right to accept the inheritance but refuse to perform the ancestral rites. Don’t think of the rites as a burden; instead, consider it as ‘having a family party once a month.’ Try to think of it that way.”
“My older brother and his wife don’t come to the ancestral rites.”
“Isn’t it great that there are fewer mouths to feed during the rites? Don’t resent your brother for not coming; instead, think positively about having fewer people to cook for. However, discuss reducing the amount of food with your parents. Don’t decide on your own. Ask them, ‘Father, since there are fewer people to eat, we keep wasting food. Should we reduce the variety of dishes but keep the same quantity? Or should we keep all the dishes but reduce the portions?’ If your father says, ‘Prepare everything in full,’ then just say, ‘Understood.’ After doing this once or twice, your father will likely suggest reducing either the variety or quantity. Try to handle it wisely like this. Even if you hadn’t received any inheritance, this would still be your duty. It’s quite selfish to refuse after receiving the estate.” (Laughter)
“I will work hard.”
“Don’t work too hard. It’s okay to do things moderately. Instead, always consult with your parents-in-law to improve your relationship. You don’t always have to follow through on what you’ve agreed to do. Many of you tend to refuse first if you think you can’t do something. When elders make a request, initially say ‘Alright,’ and if you later find you can’t do it, just apologize: ‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it because I wasn’t feeling well.’ This way, your relationship won’t deteriorate. Don’t say no in advance; always accept first and apologize later if needed. After that, you can do as you please.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“The culture of performing ancestral rites will likely disappear after our generation passes away. There’s no need to discuss now whether you’ll continue the rites for ten more years after your parents pass away. It’s enough to perform the rites until your parents pass away. After they’re gone, you can do as you wish, and there are various approaches. You could perform rites only on Lunar New Year and Chuseok and skip the death anniversary rites, or combine all the death anniversary rites into one, or even separate them all as an excuse to have family gatherings with delicious food. Try to view it positively like this.”
The questions continued to pour in. The last questioner, observing Sunim’s ability to answer numerous questions, asked about the secret behind this skill.
How Can Sunim Answer So Many Questions Immediately?
“The key is not to organize. You’re trying to organize everything, which is why your mind becomes complicated. I don’t organize. Let me give you an example. Here’s a mirror. If you place a cup in front of the mirror, what does it reflect?”
“It reflects the cup.”
“If you place a lid in front of it, it reflects the lid. If you place a clock in front of it, it reflects the clock. So, how many objects can this mirror reflect? In other words, how many pictures can we say this mirror paints?”
“It can paint an infinite number of pictures.”
“We could say it paints an infinite number of pictures, but in fact, this mirror hasn’t painted a single picture. We could say this mirror paints an infinite number of pictures, or we could say it hasn’t painted a single picture. In other words, the mirror doesn’t paint pictures. It merely reflects. When a cup comes, it reflects the cup; when an apple comes, it reflects the apple.
If someone from Incheon asks Buddha for directions to Seoul, he would say ‘Go east.’ If someone from Gangneung asks, he would say ‘Go west,’ and if someone from Suwon asks, he would say ‘Go north.’ So, has Buddha predetermined a direction to Seoul? Buddha hasn’t predetermined any direction to Seoul. This is called ‘No Everlasting Abiding Dharma.’ It means there is no fixed law. In other words, this is expressed as ’emptiness.’ Countless methods simply emerge according to the circumstances. This is expressed as ‘form.’ That’s why we say ‘Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.’ Because it doesn’t paint a single picture, it can paint infinite pictures, and while it paints infinite pictures, it doesn’t paint a single picture. If I were to explain the principle of Dharma Q&A, this would be it. Has Venerable Pomnyun Sunim really reached such a level? I haven’t reached that level yet. However, I can say that I’m getting closer to that state. It’s not at all because I’ve accumulated vast knowledge that I can answer all kinds of questions.
I don’t organize anything. When I do Dharma Q&A, I only see the person’s suffering. I don’t think about how people should live. If a woman says she’s suffering because she’s secretly dating another man despite having a husband and child, you might think, ‘How can a married woman have an affair?’ However, I only see the fact that this woman is suffering between her husband and her boyfriend. I don’t judge whether she’s ethical or moral at all. What’s important is that she’s suffering right now. All suffering is created by our minds. Happiness is created by our minds, and unhappiness is also created by our minds.”
The two-hour session flew by as Sunim engaged in spontaneous Q&A with the audience. Although it was regrettable to end, the lecture concluded with anticipation for the next opportunity.
Immediately after, a book signing was held on stage. Many citizens lined up to greet Sunim and express their gratitude.
“Thanks to you, Sunim, I’ve become so much happier. Thank you for coming all the way to Wonju.”
After the book signing, Sunim took a commemorative photo with the volunteers who prepared the lecture.
“Happy citizens, Wonju!”
Sunim expressed his gratitude to the volunteers.
“Thank you all for your hard work. I have to go to Ulsan tonight, so I’ll be leaving now.”
“Take care, Sunim.”
Leaving the lecture hall, Sunim departed from Wonju at 10 PM, heading towards the Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center.
After a three-hour drive, Sunim arrived at the Dubuk Jungto Retreat Center at 1 AM, concluding his day’s activities.
Tomorrow, Sunim is scheduled to hold a live Dharma Q&A session with students from the Jungto Sutra Course, addressing questions that have arisen during their studies.
