Sep 25, 2024 – Religious Leaders’ Meeting, Dharma Assembly, Peace Research Seminar
Hello. Today is the day for the Religious Leaders’ Meeting for National Reconciliation and Peace.
After completing his early morning practice and meditation, Sunim headed to the Peace Foundation for the religious leaders’ meeting. Once the pastor, priest, minister, bishop, and spiritual leader all arrived at the Jungto Social and Cultural Center, they began the meeting over a meal together.
After the meal, Sunim moved to the Peace Foundation’s conference room to engage in more in-depth discussions. First, they watched a video showing Sunim’s visits to the Turkey-Syria border region and Bhutan over the past month.
After watching the video, the pastor smiled and said,
“Sunim, you’re carrying out a new Saemaul Movement, aren’t you?”
Sunim added a comment:
“If the South Korean government effectively uses its surplus funds to help poor countries, South Korea could become the smallest but most beautiful country in the world. The Korean Wave that’s currently popular worldwide is, strictly speaking, a consumer culture, isn’t it?”
They then began discussing the climate crisis. An elder from cheondogyo asked:
“Are people in Bhutan or East Timor also aware of the climate crisis as a pressing issue?”
“The general public doesn’t seem to feel it much. However, climate change is actually happening. The glaciers in the Himalayas are melting, reducing the amount of water in rivers, which in turn is decreasing hydroelectric power generation. During the rainy season, they export electricity to India when there’s a lot of rain, but during the dry season, they now have to import electricity from India. When they sell electricity, they sell it for 1 USD, but when they import it, they have to pay 2 USD. It may not be long before electricity exports cease to be a source of income at all.
East Timor is facing a nationwide water shortage. Because of the climate crisis, there’s less rainfall, so all the springs in the mountains have dried up. The person I met there was working on a movement to revive these springs.”
After a brief discussion about Sunim’s overseas travel schedule, the group deliberated on how to prepare for the upcoming 200th anniversary celebration of the birth of Choe Je-u Daeshinsa of Cheondoism.
A draft program was outlined, which included a pilgrimage to Gyeongju, where Choe Je-u Daeshinsa was born, and Namwon, where the Donghak scriptures were written, followed by a commemorative symposium in Seoul with public participation. Religious leaders shared various opinions and adjusted the program accordingly. Many suggested expanding the event into a dialogue forum involving various sectors of Korean society.
“Why don’t we bring younger members from each religion to create an opportunity for them to mingle?”
“It would be great to invite social elders representing various sectors to join the dialogue.”
“When we visit Gyeongju, we could have a dialogue with local community leaders, and do the same in Namwon.”
“The fact that various religious neighbors are joining together on this pilgrimage to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Choe Je-u Daeshinsa’s birth is incredibly meaningful. It’s a realization of interfaith harmony, carrying on Daeshinsa’s intentions.”
“While the teachings of Choe Je-u Daeshinsa are important, I think it’s equally crucial to understand the historical context in which he carried out his activities. Through this pilgrimage, I hope we can reflect on what we should dedicate our lives to in today’s world. By examining the social background in which Choe Je-u Daeshinsa lived and the values he dedicated his life to, we might find something to learn from.”
Amidst the various opinions being shared, Sunim also offered his thoughts.
A Man Who Realized 200 Years Ago That ‘The People Are the Masters of the Country’
“I believe that a person’s ideology is ultimately shaped by the natural environment, historical, and social background in which they grew up. Just as Buddha had circumstances that led him to live as he did, we need to examine ‘why Choe Je-u Daeshinsa chose a new path instead of following Buddhism, Catholicism, or Confucianism.’ Confucianism was the dominant religion of the time, so it offered no hope; Buddhism had been suppressed for 500 years and lacked the leadership to drive social change; and Catholicism was rejected as a foreign religion. In this context, I think it’s crucial that Choe Je-u Daeshinsa realized that ‘the people, not the king, are the masters of the country.’ This is the basis for considering Choe Je-u Daeshinsa as the pioneer of Korean democracy. I believe this realization is why so many people were moved in such a short time. It would be beneficial to have an in-depth dialogue about this historical background.”
The two hours passed quickly as Sunim discussed the pilgrimage commemorating the 200th anniversary of Great Master Choe Je-u’s birth. The meeting concluded with brief discussions on how to prepare for the “Interfaith Dialogue” program at the International Reconciliation Society seminar and how to respond to the public’s concerns about the current government’s administration.
After seeing off the religious leaders, Sunim moved to the broadcasting room at the Seoul Jungto Center to conduct the live Weekly Dharma Assembly.
At 10 AM, the live Weekly Dharma Assembly began with Jungto Society members joining the video conference. First, a video showcasing the activities of Jungto Society members over the past week was shown. This was followed by footage of Sunim’s recent lecture tour in the Western North America. Sunim then gave his opening remarks.
“This summer was extremely hot, wasn’t it? Although this year is said to be the hottest, it’s likely that next year we’ll be saying, ‘Last year wasn’t so bad!’ The possibility of this pattern repeating has increased. I think we’ll start to feel the effects of climate change more in our daily lives.
Last week, I gave Dharma Q&A lectures every day, starting from Seattle, then Vancouver, San Francisco, Las Vegas, San Diego, and ending in Los Angeles. This time, all lectures were interpreted into English for the local American audience. Now, I’ve returned to my daily routine in Korea. One thing I noticed during this overseas lecture tour is that foreigners seem to be gradually understanding and becoming familiar with the Dharma Q&A format. In the past, people didn’t know how to reveal their pain or suffering in front of an audience. So, they would mostly ask about Buddhist doctrines, why I became a monk, or what the benefits of becoming a monk are. But as years have passed, it seems that even foreigners are starting to reveal their difficulties or concerns despite being in front of an audience. However, the reality is that the majority still find it challenging to discuss their concerns in public. Without experience in Dharma Q&A, many still think, ‘Why should I tell a monk about my worries?’ or ‘How will talking about this help?’ It seems that many lack the motivation to participate when it’s just called Dharma Q&A. So, I’m considering organizing lectures with specific themes. Especially in Silicon Valley, I think many people would be interested if we held a Dharma Q&A on the topic of ‘Artificial Intelligence and Buddhism.’
Conducting these Dharma Q&As with English interpretation makes me realize how fortunate and convenient it is for you to understand Korean. Dharma Q&A requires quick responses to make the questioner have an ‘aha’ moment, but with interpretation, the pace slows down, and 100% of the content isn’t conveyed. Of course, Jason’s excellent interpretation skills help to compensate for this to some extent. I think within the next 10 years, we might see AI capable of interpreting into all world languages, but until then, having a skilled interpreter seems necessary for Dharma Q&A sessions for foreigners.”
Following this, Sunim engaged in conversations with those who had submitted questions in advance. Three individuals pressed the “raise hand” button to ask Sunim questions. One of them sought Sunim’s advice on how to handle a difficult situation where they had lent money to their mother-in-law, who was now asking them to sell their house to lend her more money.
My Mother-in-Law Is Demanding We Sell Our House to Pay Off Her Debt. What Should I Do?
“Just don’t sell it. What’s there to ask? (laughs) In your mother-in-law’s mind, both her sons are the same, and now the younger one is struggling with debt. So she thinks, ‘If the older son sells his house to pay off the younger son’s debt, wouldn’t that solve the problem?’ ‘Can’t you live in a monthly rental or lease and pay it back later?’ That’s how she’s thinking. Your mother-in-law sees her two sons as one family unit, while you see your mother-in-law’s family, your brother-in-law’s family, and your family as separate. For you, your husband and children form one economic unit. So from your perspective, you don’t want to sell your house for others. But your mother-in-law thinks differently. This is a difference in viewpoint, not that your mother-in-law is a bad person. However, you can’t do everything your mother-in-law wants either. So just say, ‘Mother, I’m sorry. I want to live in my own house.’ Why are you troubled over something so simple?
Have children yourself and raise them. If you have an older child who’s well-off and a younger one who’s struggling, wouldn’t you, as a parent, give all your money, whatever you have, to the younger one? Because to your mother-in-law, they’re all one economic unit. For example, if during New Year’s, a mother, father, and their two children play Go-Stop and win or lose money, from the parents’ perspective, does it matter who wins? It’s all the same money, just moving from one pocket to another. So for parents, it doesn’t matter who wins. But for siblings, there’s a big difference between ‘Did I win, or did my brother win?'”
“The problem is that it’s not my brother-in-law’s debt, but a loan secured against my parents-in-law’s house. If they don’t pay it off quickly, they might lose their house. My mother-in-law needs to sell the house quickly at a low price to resolve the debt, but she’s just listing it at market price and waiting, even though it’s not selling. And now my husband is suddenly suggesting we sell our house and invest in a redevelopment project. In this case, should I just say ‘Yes, I understand’ to my husband? Or should I argue with him like before and cause a commotion in the family?”
“Whose name is the house under?”
“It was originally under both our names, but because my in-laws have been causing financial burdens for a while, I had it transferred to my name.”
“Then why argue? If it’s in your name, there’s no need to fight. Just say, ‘That’s a good idea. But I’m not going to sell.'”
“So I don’t have to say ‘Yes, I understand’ even if my husband wants to sell the house?”
“Of course not, it’s your house.”
“Thank you.”
“What I’m saying is, don’t fight with each other. Even if your mother-in-law asks for money, you can say, ‘Yes, I understand. I know you need money. But I’m not in a position to give it.’ If your husband wants to sell the house, you can say, ‘I understand your intention, but I don’t want to sell.’ There’s no need to fight at all. If your husband gets angry and throws things, you can say, ‘I understand you’re upset from your perspective. But we have children, and I can’t sell the house.’ Your husband wants to help because your mother-in-law and brother-in-law are his family. So you can agree with your husband’s opinion if you want, or if you disagree, you can say, ‘This house is in my name, so I’m not going to do that.’ Being able to assert your rights is also part of practice.”
“Before I knew about Venerable Pomnyun Sunim, I used to fight a lot with my husband. But after learning from you, I practiced always saying ‘Yes, I understand’ to my husband, which made me feel more at ease and eliminated our arguments. I’m wondering if I should submit to my husband in this situation as well.”
“It’s good if you can follow your husband’s wishes. What’s wrong with not having a house? You can rent or lease. You could say, ‘If that’s what you want, let’s do it. We can live without a house!’ That’s one approach. But don’t fight with your husband. However, if you absolutely can’t accept living without a house, then say, ‘I understand your opinion, but I’m not going to do that.’
You’re misunderstanding Buddhism. If a woman came to me and said, ‘Sunim, if you don’t marry me, I’ll kill myself!’ should I marry her because she says she’ll die now? If someone asked, ‘Can you ignore a person dying because of your religion? How can you save humanity if you can’t even save one person?’ what would you do?”
“Actually, I ended up helping with the 37,000 USD because my mother-in-law was crying and saying she wanted to die.”
“The questioner made a decision after weighing the options between family conflict due to not helping the mother-in-law and easing the tension by providing 37,000 USD. It’s nonsense to say you helped because of Sunim. When a woman says she’ll die if you don’t marry her, you marry her because you have a desire to do so, not because ‘I had no choice but to marry her since she said she would die.’ You had that desire, and you decided it was better to marry and bear the world’s criticism. You chose to help with 37,000 USD despite the loss because your mother-in-law and husband desperately wanted it. But you’re saying you can’t do the same for the house because it’s worth sseveral hundred thousand dollars. You’re weighing the pros and cons here.
It’s fine for the questioner to say ‘yes.’ You can say ‘yes’ to 37,000 USD, 370,000 USD, or even 3,700,000 USD. Conversely, you can also say ‘no.’ However, in any case, you shouldn’t think that the other person is wrong and you are right. If you think you can’t help beyond a certain point, then don’t. That’s your right. The Buddha said not to hit, kill, rob, steal, sexually harass, rape, lie, use abusive language, or trouble others while drunk. But you don’t become a sinner for not giving when someone asks you for something. Giving or not giving is your choice. So, don’t fight with your husband. You can fully understand their feelings for asking for help. While understanding their feelings, you can choose not to help.
Your mother-in-law is speaking from the perspective of her family, including her children, while you’re speaking from the perspective of your own family. So, your positions are simply different. Your mother-in-law isn’t wrong, and you aren’t right. Neither is your mother right and you wrong. You just have different views. If you can accommodate your mother-in-law’s view, do so. If you can’t, just say, ‘Mother, I’m sorry. I can’t do that.’ This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but rather that among the things you can or cannot do, you can choose not to do it.
However, there is a high risk that after this conversation, the questioner will go to her husband and say something like “Sunim said I don’t have to listen to your mother.” We should not irresponsibly shift responsibility to others like that. Saying “I gave money because Sunim told me to” or “I didn’t give money because Sunim told me not to” shows that one still doesn’t properly understand the Buddha’s teachings. Whether to give or not give is my own decision. In this case, since it’s about giving what I have, I can decide whether to give or not. If I don’t give, I’ll naturally be criticized and there will be conflict in the marriage. I’ll also be blamed by my mother-in-law. You can choose which is more important – avoiding that or the 370,000 USD. You can decide “It’s better to lose 370,000 USD and avoid blame and conflict” or “I won’t sell the house even if I’m criticized.”
Even if your mother-in-law criticizes you, your marriage deteriorates, and your husband makes a fuss, you can say “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that because I need to raise my children.” Conversely, you could say “Money isn’t important, family relationships are more important. So I’ll sell the house to pay off the debt.” It’s up to the questioner to decide which path to choose. There are no fixed rules.
“I understand. Thank you.”
“Whether you give money or not is your decision. It has nothing to do with what I say. My point is that you should decide for yourself whether to give or not.
You must immediately stop actions like hitting others or stealing their money. However, you have no obligation to give money to your mother-in-law. Giving money to your mother is a virtuous act, so it’s optional. I should stop taking money from my mother-in-law. A mother can ask her child for money, but the child has no obligation to give it. However, a child can choose to give money to their mother out of consideration, or choose not to. If you can give, then give. If you can’t, just say “I’m sorry.” You can say “I understand how you feel, mother, but I’m sorry. I can’t give you money because I need to live too.” There’s no need to fight with your spouse over this, get angry, be surprised, or be afraid. The world is always making demands, and we sometimes accept them and sometimes don’t.
I also get countless requests to give lectures, but I can’t accept them all. So I decline most of them saying “I’m sorry, I don’t have time.” And sometimes I accept when I do have time. Then people might complain, “Why did you do it for them but not for us?” But since I don’t take money for lectures, it’s not a big issue. I don’t take money to avoid getting caught up in such disputes. Because I don’t take money, I can decide whether to do it or not. I have a principle of prioritizing groups that pursue public interest. If the military, police, government agencies, or charitable organizations ask me to give a lecture, I prioritize those requests. If a company asks, I carefully consider what kind of event it is before deciding. If I’m going to give a lecture anyway, I should benefit as many people as possible, so I choose events with around 100 people rather than just 10 or so. I make decisions considering my time based on these principles. The questioner can also respond by setting her own principles, like “I can give up to 370,000 USD but no more than that” or “I can give money I have, but I won’t sell the house.”
There’s no need to be surprised, and neither your mother-in-law nor your husband has done anything wrong. People just speak based on their own interests. The house is in your name, so you have the right to decide what to do with it. You can decide how to exercise your rights.
“Thank you.”
The questions continued.
I have a strong desire for my mother’s body not to be in pain. How should I approach this mentally?
It’s said that the Buddha was free from all fetters of gods and humans. What does the fetter of gods mean?
After an hour of Q&A, the live broadcast ended after 11 PM. Sunim left the broadcasting room and returned to the Jungto Social and Cultural Center.
At 11:30 AM, guests visited The Peace Foundation to have lunch and conversation with Sunim.
After talking with the guests for a long time, Sunim attended The Peace Foundation research seminar after 1 PM. This month’s seminar topic was “The Current Status and Challenges of Korean Civil Movements, and the Future of Global Civil Movements.” Mr. Lee Tae-ho, Director of the Peace and Disarmament Center at People’s Solidarity for Participatory Democracy, gave a passionate three-hour lecture. Sunim sat in the very back row of the auditorium, listening attentively to the presentation.
“Is the civil movement falling apart? I don’t think so. Over the past five years since the Candlelight Revolution, citizens have been contemplating how to find their place in the open space. In the process, they realized the importance of politics and many entered political parties. Of course, there have been negative effects like the rise of fandom politics and hate politics, but there’s also the positive factor that more citizens are participating. Above all, I think the process after the Candlelight Revolution has been a time of realizing that both social transformation and regression depend on citizens…
Especially, younger generations have begun to take more leading roles through climate movements and feminist movements. Civil society is being reorganized even in crisis, and although the new generation’s civil movements have not become mainstream, they are gradually expanding their influence. Now we need solidarity that cares for both people and the planet. The civil movement that used to chant ‘People First!’ as its slogan now needs to evolve into a movement that prioritizes not only people but also non-human beings in this era of climate crisis.”
Following the keynote speech, various questions were raised. After discussing diverse topics such as the possibility of impeaching the current government, prospects for the failure of prosecution reform, and unification debates surrounding the theory of two states, the seminar concluded.
Sunim greeted Director Lee Tae-ho, who gave the passionate lecture, and then moved to the conference room.
From 4 PM, Sunim spent two hours discussing The Peace Foundation’s 20th anniversary celebration and future business directions with the foundation’s planning committee members.
As the sun set, from 7:30 PM, Sunim held a live broadcast of the evening Dharma Assembly for members at the Seoul Jungto Center’s broadcasting studio. In the evening, three people had pre-registered questions and engaged in dialogue with Sunim.
I operate a contracted meal service for a nursing home. How should I view the conflict between existing and new cooks?
Consumerism is causing various problems including environmental pollution and climate crisis. How does practicing to overcome these issues relate to the Buddha’s teachings?
I’m worried about moving my late father’s columbarium, difficulties with someone I met last year, and my son’s inability to adjust to daily life after COVID-19.
After the dialogue, Sunim gave closing remarks.
“As we live, family members die, separations occur, we face criticism, businesses fail, we get injured, and various things happen day by day. Because we think it would be better if these things didn’t happen, we perceive them as calamities when they do. However, if you think this is just life, it’s like the four seasons coming and going – things just happen. When this happens, deal with it this way; when that happens, deal with it that way. With this perspective, life becomes free. Wishing for nothing to happen is not the path to liberation and nirvana. The path to liberation and nirvana is not being constrained no matter what happens. From this perspective, I hope you live with a more open mind and freely.
A Life Without Suffering That Contributes to the World
No matter how busy you are, you need to have room to breathe. Living frugally creates financial leeway, and having a broad mind creates mental leeway. When you have room to breathe, you can provide financial support to those in need and volunteer. A practitioner is someone who lives freely without suffering and does things that contribute to the world. In Mahayana Buddhism, this is called ‘seeking enlightenment above and saving sentient beings below’ (上求菩提 下化衆生). I hope you all walk the path of a practitioner.”
It was past 9 PM when the live broadcast ended.
Tomorrow, Sunim will have a breakfast meeting with North Korea experts at The Peace Foundation, and in the afternoon, he will meet with social figures outside.”
